I am a Client Services Specialist here at MSAA. I hold both a Bachelor's and Master's Degree in Counseling from schools outside the Philadelphia area. I love reading, movies, going to concerts and traveling. Favorite place I've been so far---Disney World!
Change is something that can be unavoidable at times and not always favored, nor asked for or necessarily welcomed. Though sometimes it can be difficult, there may be times when change is needed to make certain things more manageable. As it can be known to cause shifts in all types of roles, relationships, plans, or daily routines, adjusting to change can have impacts not just on yourself but those around you as well. One of the significant pieces needed throughout the change process is communication. Communication with family, friends, support networks, medical teams and others within your circle is important to be able to discuss what change has occurred and what can be done to accommodate it.
When dealing with something like a chronic illness, change can particularly affect family and relationship roles and dynamics. This can be difficult for all the family members involved. It can be difficult to change a routine and how things used to flow from one day to the next. Say one family member has been known to be the ‘caregiver’ to the others, taking care of the household duties and responsibilities. What if they suddenly need to be the one being cared for due to an illness? This can create a shift in how the household duties are shared and now need to be assigned to others.
Communicating how these changes affect the relationships is important. Feeling frustrated, confused, or even angry at times is ok because things are different. The critical point is to make sure that these thoughts and feelings are expressed to ensure that all people feel they are heard and that their feelings are validated and valued. Seeking some type of family counseling supports can be beneficial to talk about change in a safe and open format—so that all of those affected can discuss it.
Has change affected any of your relationships? How did you approach this?
Such a direct question, right out of the gate! And it’s one we encounter often when meeting new people – report your name and occupation for informational purposes, please. Because of the nature of this interaction (which feels very unnatural at times), meeting new people can be intimidating. It can be an awkward situation with pressure to ask or answer certain questions that may be sensitive to you or the other person. It can also be stressful to open yourself up to new people because the outcomes can be uncertain. How will the other person interpret what you said? Will they be accepting of you? And the detailed request to explain what you do rather than who you are can feel uncomfortable too, especially for those who may not currently be in the workforce to identify themselves as their work first.
Ok, so new conversations don’t exactly occur like this: “Hi, I’m John. I like traveling, going to the opera, and fishing.” But they don’t necessarily have to evolve into interactions that make you feel like you’re filling out paperwork at the DMV either. There can be a balance, where you can actually learn about the person’s character and their likes before judging them solely by what they do or don’t do for a living. It may not feel like it, but perhaps those who are no longer working are at an advantage at times in this new meeting scenario. This leaves the discussion open to actually discussing matters that are not just work related!
Other topics of conversation can be brought into the encounter and people can learn who the other person is and not just what they do. Maybe this conversation flow can include “tell me something about yourself,” thus creating a whole new direction of discussion between new people.
Even though meeting people can be scary sometimes, it can also open up so many exciting doors for increased interactions and forming relationships with others, which can be of great value!
Ahh, the time of year that brings colorful flowers into bloom and comfortable temps is finally here! April showers that bring May flowers help mark the arrival of spring type weather and a time for people to get outside and enjoy this time of year. It’s not too warm yet in most of the country, which allows for outdoor events to be enjoyed, not denied because of the heat. So what are some things people can get out and enjoy doing during this spring time?
Doing outdoor chores like gardening or yard work can be relaxing at times while you go at your own pace, or just sitting outside during this season can be refreshing, breathing in air that the winter months made most people hibernate against. Attending ball games, community events and outings, exercising or taking a ride can all be welcomed activities to appreciate this month. Spring doesn’t seem to last too long in relation to the sizzling summer and frigid winter months, so consider this period a ‘fling’ to do what you like, no matter what the activity is.
You can get together with people you enjoy spending time with and make up your own activities or events this season. Try something new – like a project or artwork you’ve always wanted to create, and have others help you to make it a fun group activity. It’s important to let yourself be present in the moment, especially if you’re engaging in something new, so that you can appreciate the situation for what it’s offering. The seasons come and go, so be sure to make your ‘spring fling’ a memorable one!
During the holidays I received a gift certificate to try yoga classes at an exercise studio in my area. I was always interested in trying this type of class and this was my opportunity to finally do so. I have to admit that I was a little nervous going to that first class. With feelings similar to the first day of school I didn’t know what to expect – what the teacher would be like, if I would be doing the exercises “right,” and if I wanted to come back. I don’t think I was alone in these feelings as I’m sure others have similar thoughts when trying something new for the first time, but I was worried about how it would affect my performance. I didn’t want to be the odd man out and have it be completely transparent that I had no idea what I was doing.
To my surprise, on the first day of class I wasn’t the only new student! I was relieved to see that there were several other new students joining the class and trying this yoga for the first time! This gave me comfort knowing that I at least wouldn’t be the only new face in the crowd of others more experienced and that perhaps these other folks shared in my own initial fears about trying something new.
The class turned out to be great – the teacher was encouraging and the exercises were dynamic and fun. It was a challenge on the mind and body in an uplifting and positive way, and something I felt so proud of myself for trying. I have continued attending the class and look forward to it each time I attend.
No matter the task, exercise, venture or opportunity that comes your way, the point is that you’re not alone in the initial fears or concerns or questions that you have about it. At some point everyone encounters something new, so it comes down to the question of if and how you’ll approach it, and if this something new has potential benefits for you. You won’t know until you try it, right?
What new venture will you try?
*Please remember to consult with your physician before starting a new exercise routine
That is the question, at least today as it pertains to learning about the disease of MS. As we close in on a month dedicated to MS awareness, many individuals still do not know much about this rare disease. One challenge lies in the fact that the information available on MS can be very overwhelming at times, especially as the internet alone exudes multiple portals of literature and resources about the disease. This can sometimes have the opposite effect on education; rather than pulling people in to learn more, it actually sometimes intimidates people to the point where they shy away from learning more about it. This is completely understandable – MS can be difficult to understand and grasp, so it’s a process to educate oneself and others about it. So the question is, is it better to know, or not to know?
When MS touches the life of someone you know, love, interact with, or share a history with, it can be hard to comprehend what this disease is that’s affecting that person. If you didn’t have knowledge of what it was before, this may be a whole new learning process for you as well. Being part of someone’s support network keeps you tied into what’s going on in their daily experiences, so knowing what MS is and its process can help keep you informed of what they’re going through, and how you may be able to offer support when needed.
It’s not something that can be learned or taught overnight. It’s a process – and one that doesn’t have to be done alone. Talking about MS with family members, friends, peers and other support resources can aid in the significant education piece that comes with the disease. Learning more about it is the first step in knowing what it is and how you can offer your support. It can start with just an overview of MS information, and lead into further discussions and outreach. It’s also important to know that it’s ok to take your time learning about MS – review the information as you’re comfortable doing so at your own pace, and when you have questions reach out and ask. In the matter of MS, the act of knowing can be more beneficial than not.
Boy oh boy, what a winter we’ve had this year! There wasn’t a part of the country that didn’t experience some effect of this peculiar and extraordinary season – whether it was ice, snow, freezing rain or just downright frigid temperatures, we’ve all had a taste of the season! I think at this point spring will be a welcomed phase of the year – even though that means some sweltering summer temps are right behind it. But until then, why not take advantage of the weather change (whenever it does occur), and do some things to enjoy the season?
Spring is a great time to get back outdoors after winter’s hibernation; no matter what type of activity, just breathing in some fresh outdoor air can awaken the senses. Traveling, gardening, walking, exercising, riding or sitting outside are all ventures that can be explored during this period. Spring is a good time to clean things out and get organized – to throw away the old and make room for the new in order to help you keep track of what’s needed.
Explore opportunities within your community – there may be different events and activities occurring during spring that you can participate in. It may also help to talk with your doctor about different activities you can do to help with any MS symptom management issues or finding a task that is appropriate for your needs. Every individual has their own preferences and favorite things they enjoy, so the arrival of spring provides a chance to do something new and start the season with novel hope and promise.
It’s all the rage these days – communicating to others through technology channels, especially online. Gone are the days where individuals only communicated in-person or by telephone. Now interacting with others may still involve a telephone, but mostly by way of text messaging and social media platforms do people stay tied to others.
Using online communication systems to interact has been steadily increasing with the technology age and will probably continue to do so. Individuals in the MS community use various types of online platforms and discussion groups to discuss MS-related topics and interests with fellow members of the community.
As this online communication trend continues, what are some ways to ensure your safety and comfort level when accessing these portals?
Read and review. Be sure to read and review any website and social media platform policies when engaging in online interactions. Your privacy is important, so be cautious of what information you share online and how it will be shared with others; only share and disclose what you’re comfortable with. Use discretion if disclosing personal details or identifying information about yourself. You want to ensure that your safety and privacy remain a priority when connecting to others.
If some type of interaction feels ‘off’ in some way, be mindful of that feeling and try to take the appropriate steps to disengage if necessary. Remember why you reached out in the first place, if you feel as though you are not getting the support or information you need, or that conversations are not healthy for you, you have the right to leave the conversation.
Communicating online can be a supportive and dynamic experience, so just be sure to do so safely and appropriately.
The relationships that we hold with family members are some of the most significant and influential ties that we will carry throughout our lifetime. These bonds, whether good or a little rocky at times, help to build the foundation of our relations with other people. Because these relationships hold so much meaning and importance, individuals put forth much effort into maintaining them to ensure they remain intact. What helps to make this possible?
A key element in all types of relationships is communication. Being able to disclose feelings, concerns, and needs to others is important and can build strong ties in the connections. Reading other people’s minds can be a challenge, so talking openly about things is a good step to knowing what the other person is feeling. This isn’t easy for everyone; it can be difficult to bring matters to other people’s attention and talk about different issues, especially if they are personal or sensitive in nature. Because of this it’s important to think about whom you feel comfortable disclosing things to if challenges arise.
Having that go-to person/support in place is essential to communicating effectively and being able to share your personal experiences. Sometimes you may seek this type of support outside of your family structure which may inadvertently upset family members. So then with family, you may need to have a discussion about communications barriers or discomforts to be able to disclose why communication is difficult. This can help to reduce confusion and misconceptions in these relationships, and still leave the communication lines open. As family remains one of the strongest ties in connecting to others, communication will remain an integral part of this system.
Happy. It’s such a simple word that carries with it so many huge notions and feelings. It is strived for and achieved every day and thought of as an important goal by many. People wish to be happy. I think there is an innate characteristic that many people hold that strives to make other people happy also – to obtain their approval, to have others’ needs be granted and satisfied too. It is human nature to put other’s needs ahead of your own at times, especially in close and supportive relationships. But I think too often people tend to ignore or forget their own needs and their own paths to achieving happiness. It’s not through any fault of their own; when we care for others it sustains us and creates rewarding and happy feelings that tend to satisfy us. But what about the things you can do for yourself that make you happy?
Ok, so realistically life can be crazy and hectic at times, so who has the extra time to spend to do all of the things that ultimately make you happy? Challenges arise, life gets complicated, and things get in the way so it’s hard to focus at times. But sometimes it’s about the little moments, the small fragments of time where you can step away from the obstacles and do something that makes you happy, no matter the task. Life is too precious and too valuable to not do the things that you enjoy and that will bring you happiness and moments to treasure in the days ahead.
It doesn’t have to be every moment of every day, but when you can, take some time to think about what it is that makes you happy, what you would enjoy doing or something new you’ve wanted to try. We’ve again stepped into a new year where people can start things fresh and reflect on their wants and needs. So why not start these new beginnings by doing something that makes you happy?
It’s time to celebrate a new year again, and with it, new hopes and goals for the upcoming months. A new year symbolizes many things but one of the most aspiring qualities it holds is promise. Things can be changed, new strategies can be created and thus new journeys can begin during this fresh start. No matter the venture, people can make choices and set goals that work to accommodate their needs and wants to make the year a memorable one.
Though each New Year represents the passing of time, it also ignites new beginnings and reminders that time is precious and to make each moment count. Resolutions are a common theme this time of year and one of the most popular items to add to one’s agenda. If you create resolutions for yourself make them attainable so they’re something you can commit to and strive for within the year. Form resolutions and goals that you’re passionate about so your interest in them remains strong. The New Year is just that, new, so take time to learn what the year has to offer and what you can obtain from it.