Adjusting to Change

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Change is something that continually occurs throughout life for all people and to different degrees. Change may have very mild, subtle effects, or very significant effects depending on what’s being altered. Sometimes change can be a good thing, and sometimes not. One of the most difficult concepts to accept about change is that at times you have no control over it. In our individualized society we try to live by the mantra that we control our lives and what happens to us day-by-day, but this is not always the case. Sometimes the unexpected arises and we play no part in its occurrence. An unexpected illness, a loss, or other unforeseen situations are some of the incidences that can transpire due to no control of our own. When the unexpected occurs, what can you do to help adjust and cope with this new-found circumstance, that wasn’t necessarily welcome or planned for?

  • Talk to others about the changes that have occurred. Communicating to trusted loved ones, friends or your healthcare team can help you explore ways to adjust by receiving outside perspectives.
  • Reflect on what the change has affected. By recognizing what’s different you can make your own adjustments that will work for you in your day to day.
  • Explore your support resources. If change has had emotional, physical, or social impacts for you, it’s important to know who you can reach out to for help.
  • Bring focus to things that you enjoy and that you can control in your day-to-day. Make decisions that help to ensure that changes are modified to fit your needs.

Change can take some getting used to, especially if it’s something unpredictable. Though some things are uncontrollable and unforeseen at times, individuals do hold influence over the way they can approach change and react to it. It’s how you make the change work for you that’s significant.

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October 2014 Artist of the Month: Celebrating the Work of Artists Affected by Multiple Sclerosis

MSAA is very proud to present our 2014 Art Showcase - celebrating the work of artists affected by MS.

We have received many wonderful submissions from across the country and are delighted to share their work and their stories with you. Please visit our online gallery to view all of the new submissions.

October Artist of the Month:
Janice Paige – Bel Air, MD

 Janice Paige - Fall Fun

About the Artist:

“I am the mother of two grown sons and a wife of thirty-five years. I was a Special Educator for twenty-eight years…I obviously enjoy sketching and painting. I find it exciting and relaxing. 

I was diagnosed with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis in the winter of 1999 after a bout with the flu. The doctor that examined me indicated that my right side was weak and that something was going on with my brain. I was so afraid that I just went numb! I was referred to a neurologist who scheduled me for several MRI tests. I was also scheduled for a couple of spinal taps. However, I was not diagnosed for eight months.”

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Be inspired – please send an online card featuring artwork by MS artist Janice Paige and spread awareness of MS and MSAA.

It’s also that time of year – MSAA will soon be accepting submissions for our 2015 Art Showcase! Be on the lookout later this month on mymsaa.org for more information on how to submit your work or sign up to receive MSAA email updates to be the first to know when the Art Showcase is open for submissions!

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Measuring Success

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Sometimes life can be tough, and we may have to hear feedback that we don’t want to receive or work through challenging situations we don’t want to encounter. Like when the school says that your child is just not able to do what other kids can, or when your boss says that you are not keeping up to the standards the workplace requires, and if something doesn’t change soon, they’re going to have to let you go.

It is never easy or pleasant to deal with times where your “actions” or a loved one’s “actions“ are not “measuring up” to the expectations of what is required in a situation. This may occur when a real issue arises, i.e. if you are a nurse you need to have the ability to properly measure medications, and not doing this in a proper way can lead to major harm, or if your child needs a specific educational plan of action and you don’t get them help, it could be a big disservice.

Alternately, these types of situations can occur when the other person has a different “measuring stick” than you do, like if your old boss understood that you needed to take an afternoon break to be recharged and on your game for the rest of the day, but a new boss is inflexible and slams your work performance for taking a break. This type of situation can lead to major frustration and anger on both sides of the coin. The new boss has a different measurement they are using for success.

So, when it is not just a situation you have to own up to or seek support to overcome, how do you get the other party who is using a different measuring stick to see reason? First, check your own thought process by bouncing the situation off of a trusted friend, family member, or co-worker. Do they agree that you are being reasonable, or do they bring up good counterpoints for you to consider? Second, check for any formal supports or avenues for recourse. This might include documenting this situation and your concerns, or seeking out formal supports. In this workplace scenario, it might include talking with HR and asking for a formal workplace accommodation. It may also include you documenting your work actions more carefully or capturing feedback from clients or co-workers about your work to allay concerns presented by the new boss.

Not every difficult situation can be resolved, especially if neither person can compromise or shift how they are measuring success. You can do your part by being proactive in trying to see how the other person is viewing the situation, and trying to present your own views and insights in a clear and rational manner. Sometimes even simply acknowledging that you are looking at the situation from two different vantage points can allow enough of a bridge to achieve some type of workable solution.

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MS Means Managing Your Energy

SherylBy: Sheryl Skutelsky

It’s Football Season! So, what does that have to do with MS? Well, in my case an unexpected wonderful opportunity to travel to meet my son to see my very first live NFL game. This opportunity truly once again brought to light the ways in which I have to live my life a bit differently from everyone else.

My dad wanted a boy, but instead he got me, an only child. So, I was placed in front of the television from as early as I can remember to watch the Jets play. I was taught every rule and regulation.

I’ve lived my entire life in New York, but for some reason my son had been a Packers fan from as early as I can remember. He dreamed of getting tickets to Lambeau Stadium for over 20 years. He finally had tickets for the Packer’s first home game against the Jets, but he broke up with the girl that was supposed to accompany him.

I get a call from my 31 year old son, now living in Houston, asking me if I would like to meet him in Green Bay for my birthday to finally get to see my Jets play live. Instantly I was ecstatic and panicked at the same time!

MS means managing your energy to avoid overwhelming fatigue. I didn’t have enough warning to rest all week for this trip. I also remember my son telling me that as a teenager he often felt that I wasn’t there for him; I was always too tired. I hadn’t been diagnosed yet, and my son rationally understands now why I was always tired, but I didn’t want to let him down this special weekend.

Well, the Packers beat the Jets, and I came home a Packers fan, but more importantly, my son and I had such a special weekend together. He had tattooed the MS logo on his ankle for me several years ago which meant a lot, but this weekend he also showed me that he truly understood how I had to live a little differently with MS.

My son did all the driving, took care of me, kept me out of the sun as much as possible, and made sure I got time to rest. We had such a great time together in Wisconsin, and my son told me how proud he is to tell people how his mom doesn’t let MS stop her from enjoying life. After all, what more can a mother ask for?

*Sheryl Skutelsky, diagnosed in 2001, has learned how to live positively with multiple sclerosis. Sheryl’s passion has always been graphic design. Her symptoms have become an inconvenience to her work, so she now uses her skills and creativity to reach out to others about MS. Sheryl is a patient advocate speaker for Biogen Idec. She also writes for Healthline.com, and she is an Internet radio host with her own show, Fix MS Now. Check out her Fix MS Now page on Facebook which has more than 10,000 followers. You can help raise MS awareness one “like” at a time by visiting: http://www.facebook.com/fixmsnow.

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Inside My Bubble, Prepared for Anything

By: Jeri Burtchell

I like to think of myself as a planner. Now, before those of you who know me collapse into uncontrollable laughter, let me explain. I don’t plan as in “wedding planner” or even use a “day planner.” In truth, I’m a perfect candidate for one of those intervention reality shows.

I never said I plan in a structured, well thought-out manner. No, I’m motivated by more of a panic-driven, deeply troubled, “what-if” thought process I learned from my mother. I have cultivated an emergency response for every possible scenario that could come along in life. I have prepared for catastrophic events that may or may not ever happen.

Mom and I have our fire season evacuation box, our hurricane season supply stash, and when I travel I have a whole suitcase packing ritual designed to make life easier in the event that things go wrong. When connections are missed or there are bathroom emergencies, I know I can count on the contents of my purse or roller bag to rescue me.

I like to think of this as part of my MS Bubble. Since I was diagnosed in 1999 and have come to realize how unpredictable it can be, one small thing that gives me solace is having my MS Bubble.

Jeri blogIt’s a sort of invisible force field I’ve visualized that surrounds me. Inside I have everything I might need to deal with unpredictable events. Things that define my comfort or bring me joy are always close at hand.

Others might say my bubble is nothing more than my “comfort zone,” and in the classic sense, I guess it is. When I’m working, it’s right here at my desk. In my bubble/comfort zone, I keep the necessities of life. I have everything from a box of tissues to device charging cables.

While others look at my workstation and see a chaotic mess, I see a symphony of bubble-friendly instruments, each playing a part in bringing me comfort. I choose to forgo the aesthetic appeal of minimalism. I’d rather have clutter, as long as it’s purposeful clutter. Who can say I won’t need that thermometer mere inches from my keyboard?

My sweater stays on the back of my chair, always at hand in case I get chilled. Slippers are close by.

My smartphone is the most indispensable tool in my bubble. It connects me socially, delivers my mail, reminds me to take medications, tells me what the weather is like outside, and will distract me with games if I let it.

The point is, I have made my life as comfortable as I can, given the unpredictability of MS (and of life itself!). Although my bubble does not appear to be in any semblance of order to the untrained eye, it works for me.

I haven’t “planned” my bubble this way as in planning-a la-Martha-Stewart. It is only an ever-evolving collection of habits and things that aid me in everyday life. So I am soothed by the knowledge that, even when my MS symptoms are acting up, my MS bubble is always there, ready to comfort me.

Perhaps it’s eccentric of me to imagine this “bubble,” but visualization is a coping mechanism that works for me. I once got through the claustrophobia of an unmedicated MRI by imagining I was at the beach. My “vacation” was so enjoyable I was almost sad when the MRI ended. The protective “bubble” just works for me.

If you can develop coping strategies – whether or not they involve visualizing your own bubble – whatever works to keep you calm, centered, comfortable, and in a joyful state of mind is all that matters. So think about your situation and what things bother you the most. Then go about “planning” to deal with them ahead of time.

Create your own comfort zone, your own MS Bubble.

And if you’re a friend or family member of someone coping with MS, you might want to consider memorizing these 12 things you should never say to someone with a chronic condition.

But please add one more: Never say, “I took the liberty of cleaning up your desk. Hope you don’t mind – it was a real MESS!”

Why, that would just burst my bubble!

References:
Photo credit: Jeff Kubina, used with permission under the Creative Commons License
http://www.healthline.com/health-news/ms-12-things-not-to-say-022814#1

*Jeri Burtchell was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 1999. She has spoken from a patient perspective at conferences around the country, addressing social media and the role it plays in designing clinical trials. Jeri is a MS blogger, patient activist, and freelance writer for the MS News Beat of Healthline.com. She lives in northeast Florida with her youngest son and elderly mother. When not writing or speaking, she enjoys crafting and photography.

 

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The Impact of MS on Everyday life

Earlier this year, MultipleSclerosis.net conducted an on-line study called the MS in America Study (MSIA), which aimed to gather information from people who have been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. The study was conducted with a goal of gaining a better understanding of the current status and trends in patients with MS. The survey covered a broad range of topics, including diagnosis, symptoms, treatment, and living with MS. A total of 6,202 people started the survey, of which 5,710 were eligible (diagnosed with MS, at least 18 years of age and were either US residents or US citizens living abroad); 5,004 completed the study.

One key area of interest in the MS community is the actual impact that this disease has on the everyday lives of patients and family members of those with MS. A section of the MSIA study asked participants a series of questions that focused on everyday life with MS, and the results are quite compelling. Of 5,514 respondents, the vast majority (77%, n=4,244) said that they are no longer able to do as much as they used to before having MS. Nearly half noted that they are unable to work (43.1%, n=2,374), and a similar percentage of respondents (44.8%, n=2,472) were receiving disability benefits.

The majority of survey participants reported having children (72.5%, n=4,028 of 5,554), and not surprisingly, of those, most felt that MS had impacted their relationship with their children in some way. Check out the pie chart below to see how MS has impacted participants’ relationships with their children:

MSIA children impact

When asked about their relationship status, most reported either being married (61.7%, n=3,417 of 5,541) or in a committed relationship (11.8%, 653 of 5,541). Interestingly, nearly half (46.1%, 1,872 of 4,063) of those who were in a relationship reported being in that relationship for 21 years or more. Similar to the impact of MS on relationships with their children, most participants felt that MS had an impact on their relationship with their spouse or significant other. Nearly half (43.5%, 1,767) reported that MS had “a little bit” of an impact, while 38.7% (n=576) responded either “quite a bit” or “a great deal.” Only 17.7% (n=721) of respondents felt that MS didn’t have any impact on their relationship. Interestingly, an analysis of these data showed that the length of the relationship did not correlate with the level of impact that MS had on that relationship.

Because MS can impact a person’s life in many ways, it is critical that patients have a strong support system in place to help them cope with this condition. MSIA participants were asked some questions related to their support networks, and the majority (58.7%, n=2,941 of 5013) reported having a loved one who is actively involved in managing their MS. Support networks include spouses, children, parents, friends, significant others, and other relatives.

Of the 2,941 people who responded to the question, “How does your caregiver help you manage your MS?,” the majority (74%, n=2,180) said that their caregivers help out during an exacerbation, while most said their caregivers help out with transportation to and from appointments, and many also receive help from their caregivers with managing their medication.

MSIA support system

Fortunately, in addition to loved ones, there are many other resources available to provide support for people with MS. Over 87% (4,267 of 4,881) of those in the MSIA study said that they rely on MS-specific websites to learn about or manage their MS, more than half (68.8%, n=3,357) read MS magazines/publications as a resource, and many (45.2%, n=2,204) also use social media outlets, like Facebook, for support.

Results of the MSIA study confirm that the impact of MS on the everyday lives of patients and loved ones is significant, and that there is great value in the support systems that are available. To read more about this study and to see additional results, click here.

Tell us more about how MS has changed your life! Who and what do you rely on for support?

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Being Careful to a Fault

There is a very common saying – “you can never be too careful” – which indicates that being cautious and careful in our actions is a good way to avoid all kinds of negative outcomes or disruptions in our lives. But there is such a thing as being too careful.

By cyclonebill (Iskaffe) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia CommonsI’m reminded of when trying to pour something how you typically line it up and pour carefully so as not to spill any liquid. Sometimes the angles or shapes of the object you are pouring will not match up in the right way, and if you pour too slowly some liquid can spill out the side. Alternately, if you are pouring slowly and carefully but the cup is heavy, your hand might begin to tremble or shake, causing you to spill. Sometimes you’ve just got to go for it, and take the risk of making a huge mess with the fast pour.

The same things happen in life; sometimes you decide you just need to make a change and go after it. It may not always work out, but life has its own ups and downs, and carefully laid plans don’t always work out either. If there is something you have been wanting or waiting to do but are too risk adverse, remember that there are times to try and line things up carefully and go through all the actions to obtain an outcome in a planned out way, and sometimes you just have to take charge and make it happen whenever that opportunity arises.

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National Day of Gratitude

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”
― William Arthur Ward

Thank someone on National Day of GratitudeRecently on Facebook, a trend has emerged where individuals are challenged to list three things that they are thankful for and re-post three new things for five days in a row. At the end of the five days, they are to nominate other friends to complete the five-day challenge.

Although sharing feelings of appreciation or value can occur on any day, sometimes it takes a nomination from a friend, or a national “holiday” to remind us to share those thoughts with others. The expression of personal emotions and feelings are often the most difficult to convey. Assumptions are made that the other party understands our feelings without ever discussing them. But as the quote at the top illustrates, having gratitude means nothing without sharing it with others.

So while it is important to personally remind ourselves of the things we feel grateful for, it is also important to share it. Writing a letter, posting to Facebook, or making a phone call are some of the ways to reach out to someone to say that you are grateful for them.

This Sunday, September 21st is the National Day of Gratitude. In what ways will you show your gratitude? Leave a message in the comments section to share your appreciation and gratefulness.

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It’s beginning to look a lot like fall….

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Cooler temps forecast across parts of the country this week remind us that the fall season is approaching. Cooler nights, falling leaves and seasonal colors like orange and yellow are some of the trademarks of this festive time of year. Though some areas are still consumed by warm temperatures and strong sun rays, it is the time of year where the seasons start to evolve.

For those affected by the heat, fall is a welcomed time of the year that brings with it opportunities to enjoy the outdoors in a more comfortable manner. Sports activities, ball games, gardening and festive fall events are some ways to embrace the season’s change by spending time outside, and to perhaps ‘escape’ from hibernating methods used during the summer months when the unbearable heat was avoided.

Some look at the season change as a way to start new ventures, set new goals, or make plans for the rest of the year. New beginnings can create feelings of excitement and hope as new memories are made and added to those past. Though change can be difficult at times, it’s how you embrace it and make it work for you that matters. How the journey is spent experiencing something new is as important as the destination.

What are you looking forward to this fall?

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I have MS – Can I Still Get a Flu Vaccine?

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Colorful foliage, the scent of pumpkin spice, football games…Ah, there are so many things to love about the cooler weather! Unfortunately, the approaching flu season is not one of them. Around this time of year and throughout the fall and winter seasons, we often encounter individuals with multiple sclerosis who wonder if they can still protect themselves from the influenza virus by getting a vaccine.

In most cases, “yes,” although anyone considering a flu shot should check with his or her doctor in advance. Also, if you have MS, you should first consider the following points before getting a flu vaccine:

Make sure you are getting the injected type of vaccine: Flu vaccines usually come in two forms – injected and intranasal. Because the intranasal variety contains a live rather than inactive virus, it is not recommended for people with MS. If considering a vaccine containing a live virus, please consult your doctor.

Consider whether you are currently having a relapse: People experiencing an MS relapse are often advised to wait a period of time before receiving a vaccine. Talk to your doctor to find out if this waiting period applies to you.

Talk to your physician first: Whether or not you are currently experiencing MS symptoms, it’s always important to consult with your physician before getting a vaccine. Discussing your plan with your doctor will ensure you are getting the right vaccination at the right time for you.

Want to learn more about MS and vaccinations? This information was adapted from MSAA’s July 2013 article, “Vaccine Safety and MS,” which was written by Susan Wells Courtney and reviewed by Jack Burks, MD, MSAA’s Chief Medical Officer.

No one wants to miss out on the fun of fall and winter because of the flu. But having MS doesn’t mean you can’t help protect yourself against influenza. For more information on preventing the flu, you can also read, “Angel’s Tips for the MS Community on Getting Prepared for Winter.”

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