We need a clean-up on aisle 7…

Sometimes it is easy to decide when to let something go. When a child outgrows his/her clothes or toys it may be easy to identify that those items would better serve someone else and then look to donate or trash/recycle the items based on their wear.

Other times it may be much harder to identify what needs to stay and what needs to go such that the clutter and chaos of too many “things” begins to build. It might be the clothes you were hanging onto in case you lost/gained some weight, not knowing which financial statements or receipts are important to hold onto, or it might even be the gifts and knickknacks which looked so cute when they were received but have never found a home on your shelves. For many people it is a combination of different types of clutter which may cause of sense of dread or feeling of being overwhelmed with not knowing how to get started with the clean-up.

Whatever is muddling up your life try the following tips to get started in clearing out the clutter:

1. Create a list. Compartmentalize where the problems lie so you can create a plan of action for how to deal with them.
2. Identify why you have held onto the items. Sometimes items hold sentimental value, monetary value, or serve a specific purpose and must be retained (i.e. tax papers).
3. Decide which task to tackle first and set a timeline.
4. Ask for help (sometimes it takes a helping hand to sort things out).
5. Get to work! Start on your first goal area with a keep, organize/file, and trash/recycle pile.
6. Don’t beat yourself up if the clean-up isn’t happening as quickly as you wanted.

Taking pro-active steps to clear out the clutter can help in the long run to reduce stress levels and help you to live a simpler life.

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Winding Down from the Holidays

As the holiday season comes to a halt, signs of the New Year are all around us. While families are taking down and storing away decorations, stores are preparing for the next holiday. Windows and aisles are filled with red and pink candies, hearts, and flower holding bears. With all of the displays and reminders about Valentine’s Day, it’s hard not to be swept back up into another holiday.

January is typically the month of New Year’s Resolutions, with everyone vowing to make changes or set goals for the new year. January can also be a time for a re-set. Before jumping back into another holiday, take some time to focus on you and do something that you enjoy, or perhaps have put off over the last few months.

Changing the mentality of getting a jump start on the new year to one of sanctity and calm, may be beneficial for people who find themselves getting caught up in the hustle and bustle of life and forgetting to care for themselves.

Take some time during the day, even as little as 10 minutes, to do something that makes you happy. Sometimes even just sitting in a quiet space and taking a few deep breaths can calm you and prepare you for your next task. It is OK to take time for yourself. By doing so, you are allowing your best self to come forward.

How do you plan to care for yourself this year?

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End of Year Reflections

There’s a song lyric that says “It’s hard to remember we’re alive for the first time. It’s hard to remember, it’s hard to remember, we’re alive for the last time” (Modest Mouse). This poignant sentiment sums up a lot about our daily lives.

When you’re in the thick of your day-to-day routine it is easy to become bored or stagnant. When you are struggling with something it can be reflexive to focus only on the challenges and obstacles in your way as opposed to the strength and persistence required to make it through.

It’s easy to get caught up in just another day and forget about the wonder and marvel of life, and all the precious moments that you get to experience. True, not all moments are wonderful, but when you lose the spark of hope and wonder you lose something bigger and not just your inner philosopher.

First, cut yourself some slack, nobody gets everything right. Reflect and recognize that each day is a new one. If you are so inspired you can chose to think that with each day comes opportunity and choice. We may not be able to control everything but we can control some things.

Second, remember that no one’s life is endless. When reflecting on your own precious life you may find that there are opportunities and adventures you want to undertake. As 2014 winds down think about the journeys (metaphorical and physical) that you want to take and write them down. Some people might call it a bucket list, you may never get to all of them but you can keep trying and remembering.

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National Day of Gratitude

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”
― William Arthur Ward

Thank someone on National Day of GratitudeRecently on Facebook, a trend has emerged where individuals are challenged to list three things that they are thankful for and re-post three new things for five days in a row. At the end of the five days, they are to nominate other friends to complete the five-day challenge.

Although sharing feelings of appreciation or value can occur on any day, sometimes it takes a nomination from a friend, or a national “holiday” to remind us to share those thoughts with others. The expression of personal emotions and feelings are often the most difficult to convey. Assumptions are made that the other party understands our feelings without ever discussing them. But as the quote at the top illustrates, having gratitude means nothing without sharing it with others.

So while it is important to personally remind ourselves of the things we feel grateful for, it is also important to share it. Writing a letter, posting to Facebook, or making a phone call are some of the ways to reach out to someone to say that you are grateful for them.

This Sunday, September 21st is the National Day of Gratitude. In what ways will you show your gratitude? Leave a message in the comments section to share your appreciation and gratefulness.

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It’s all relative.

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Sometimes it may seem like things are spiraling. Maybe the bills are piling up, the stress level in managing home life or work is rising, and you are worried that you are headed for an MS Relapse if you keep going at your current pace. When things feel like they are outside of your control, it is easy to “cycle”  or consistently think of the negative aspects of what is going on. The whirlwind of negativity can affect not only your mood and health, but also your relationships and ability to accurately read cues from others and be empathetic.

When your co-worker is acting totally checked out and you are annoyed that she hasn’t helped you with a joint project, you might think she is acting uncaring, but maybe she didn’t tell you her brother is very sick in the hospital. When the dentist office calls for the third time to cancel your appointment and you just feel like screaming at the scheduler, you may not know that she is stressed out because other office staff keep flaking out on their scheduled appointments and making her job harder.

Yes, it is okay to have a bad day or a bad week. It is okay to not put on a “fake it ’till you make it” smile when you feel like nobody understands what you are dealing with, but when you start to get caught up in the negativity tornado and are on the borderline of snapping, remember that everyone is dealing with something. Yes, some of those “somethings” are more manageable than others, but they all impact and make a difference in the lives of the people living them. Focusing on the idea that everyone is living their own journey with different successes and challenges can help us to maintain balance; we are not alone for the ride. When things start to spiral, try to remember that everything is relative.

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Time to wind down…

After a long and seasonably warm 4th of July holiday weekend, it may be time to relax and recover a bit from the weekend’s festivities and weather. A long holiday weekend can tire anyone out, and for those with MS, the heat index does not add favorably to the situation. Spending time with loved ones and friends, though enjoyable, can be tiring as well, so make sure to focus on your needs and health after these get-togethers. Take some time for yourself-retreat to cooler environments, take a stroll in the evening to unwind, or settle down with a hobby or activity you favor. Taking a time out from busy activities can help you catch your breath and get back into a routine that works in your day to day.

What do you do to wind down?

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Making the Best of a Bad Situation

By: Matt Cavallo

In terms of the heat, spring is quickly turning to summer in Arizona. Daily temperatures are already constantly in the nineties, creeping closer to triple digits every day. As a person living with multiple sclerosis, this is a problem. As the heat levels increase, so does my fatigue. Each day for me is becoming a battle of will and determination to accomplish simple, everyday tasks. My refuge from the heat is to hibernate in my cool, air-conditioned house.

Recently, I was at work and received a call from my wife that I wasn’t expecting. She told me that the central air-conditioner in the house went out. She went on to say that the AC repairman said the motor was dead and the entire unit needed to be replaced. The sticker shock of what a new AC unit costs was another blow, but with my MS, there was also no way I could afford not to replace the AC.

As I hung up the phone, I started to feel defeated and stressed. It always seems that just when I am starting to get ahead, I figure out a way to fall behind. As I reflected on the situation, I realized that it was out of my control. So what was I to do now? There are all kind of events in life that we don’t plan for, and this was a big one. I could let the worry, stress and financial considerations of the situation bring me down into a negative place, or I could look deep inside myself and somehow find the positive.

I decided that I was going to be positive. The AC was twenty years old, too small for the house and a real drain on our energy bill. We had talked about replacing it for years and this situation was forcing our hand. When I put it in my mind that getting a new AC was good for us, the negative circumstances started to change. We had a friend that could install the AC for a reasonable price. The vendor didn’t have the AC unit in stock that we purchased, so for the same price they gave us a bigger, more energy efficient unit. That unit then qualified for a $500 tax credit. The best moment, however, was the joy my four year old received as we watched the crane remove the old unit and then put the new unit on the roof. He was so excited to see the construction that it made me excited to share in that moment with him.

When life throws unexpected challenges at you, how do you handle them? You can choose to be negative or positive. I choose to make lemonade out of lemons and then pour myself a nice big glass.

*Matt Cavallo was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2005. Matt is an MS blogger, author, patient advocate, and motivational speaker. Matt also has his Master’s degree in Public Health Administration. Matt is the proud father of his two sons, loving husband to his wife, Jocelyn, and best friend to his dog, Teddy. Originally from the Boston suburbs, Matt currently resides in Arizona with his family. To learn more about Matt, please visit him at : http://mattcavallo.com/blog/

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What makes you smile?

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Have you ever noticed that smiling can be contagious? That it’s hard not to smile or laugh when someone around you is? I’m not saying that life is always known to be a smile fest, as there sure are obstacles and challenges that the road of life brings, but smiling and seeing or experiencing joy can definitely raise one’s spirits. In a world that becomes hectic and chaotic in the day to day, some smiles can go unnoticed; people still smile at one another at a grocery store, or while holding the door for someone, don’t they? It’s hard to tell sometimes, because most people are rushing through their day just to get everything accomplished, and kindness and joy sometimes go unobserved.

What would happen if you slowed down long enough to take a look around you – to notice people smiling and acting kind to one another? Even though there can be dark moments in the world, there are still some who wish to radiate joy and hope to spread it to others, especially during difficult times. So try it! Try noticing others around you, those expressing joy and smiling from ear to ear at something that brings them happiness, and think to yourself – what brings me joy? And practice embracing that joy, in your day to day…

So what makes you smile?

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Which half do you see?

rsz_middle-aged_caucasion_woman_thinking_and_reading_a_paperOptimism – the typical description is if you see the glass half full, you are an optimist and if you see the glass half empty, you are a pessimist.  It can be very empowering and reassuring to view the glass as half full. In most situations, having a positive outlook can help to impact the situation in a beneficial way.

To get more theoretical though, sometimes it may be helpful to remember it is just a glass with water and analyzing our perceptions and personal filters can help determine how they impact our outlook on life. In other words, the facts are the facts and the way we perceive a situation and our resulting emotions are usually based on personal filters of what we believe is good/bad, moral/immoral, happy/sad, etc.

Take for example when you meet a new boyfriend, people may say that you look at him “with rose-colored glasses,” meaning you cannot yet see or choose to ignore his apparent faults because you are so newly engaged in the love feeling that you are ready to brush those other concerns aside. At the end of the day, when your rose-colored filter is removed, you may be willing to deal with the shortcomings or challenges involved with that relationship, or you may be ready to hit the road running in a different direction.

In that scenario, if a person was able to view the actual situation and set aside their personal filter, they might know earlier on in the relationship that their partner is not a good match. Conversely, they might set aside someone they deem too difficult or different when if they had used a rose-colored filter, they may have given the relationship a chance and later found out that their difference could be compromised or overcome.

So back to the glass of water…ultimately, your mind may jump to one assessment or another (half-full/half-empty). While there may be benefits of viewing things one way or detriments to viewing it in another way, sometimes, especially in challenging situations, being more analytic and viewing the glass as a glass may help you to ascertain what personal filters or perceptions may be coloring your thoughts, emotions, and actions. When the glass always looks half-empty, it may be a good reminder to keep analyzing the glass and your own perceptions.

 

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Developing New Ways of Thinking

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“Optimism is like a muscle. Gets stronger with use.”-Robin Roberts

Taking an optimistic view rather than focusing on negative thoughts can benefit your overall mental well-being. While it might take some time, eventually you may find that thinking positively starts to come more naturally. Consider putting some of the following tips into practice.

List five things that you are grateful for right now. Let this practice become a part of your daily or weekly routine. It may be helpful to hang your list in a spot where you may come across it often, so that you can take a moment to think about what you are grateful for.

Live in the present. Too much focus on future and past events can distract our minds from what is important today. Meditation and yoga can help in centering the mind and body, allowing you to identify with yourself in the present moment.

Surround yourself with positive people. Positive thought patterns are contagious, so surround yourself with people who make you happy and are optimistic.

Positive thinking and optimism does not come overnight, and you do not need to be a positive perfectionist. It may be challenging to try and find the positive in every aspect of your life – health, finances, relationships, and/or work. Focusing in one area will aid in building the skills to transfer into the other areas of your life.

What helps you to maintain positive thoughts?

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