Mothering Through MS

By: Meagan Freeman

How will my children remember me?

Isn’t that a question every parent asks? We want to set the best example for our kids, leaving a legacy behind when we are gone. Often, this is one of the main reasons people choose to become parents in the first place. One of the first fears in the minds of parents who are diagnosed with MS is: “How will this disease affect my ability to parent?” Followed soon by, “Will my young children remember me when I was healthy?” MS often strikes in the prime of adulthood, when most people are finally successful in a career, finally married, or starting new families. This is the cruelest aspect of this illness, the theft of young optimism. We want our children to recall these years of health, vitality, energy and strength. We want them to remember vacations, playing ball, swimming, and dancing with us. We want them to remember us as young, beautiful adults who never failed them; however, illness interferes with that image, and creates an image of inability and dependence.

Mothers with MS face an incredible challenge, coping with an incurable illness while tending to the needs of little ones, putting the needs of others before their own. In my own family, I witnessed the strength and perseverance of two mothers, facing incredible odds, refusing to give up no matter how difficult life got. MS was no match for these incredible women I am referring to, my grandmother Bette, and her daughter Susan, who happens to be my own mother. My grandmother was diagnosed with MS in the 1950s, and she had 7 children at the time. As a child of 5 or 6, I have vivid memories of visiting the home of my grandparents. We spent many holidays there, the home where my mother and her 6 siblings grew up. My grandfather Stan was the breadwinner, and my grandmother Bette struggled while trying to raise her children. She had been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in the 1950s, when there were no treatments available. She was basically told to “get in bed and stay there.” Faith, love, and hope were the keys to their success, and my grandparents were a living example of heroism and true love despite devastating life circumstances.

When I feel weak, I think of them. When I feel overwhelmed with my lot in life, I think of them. When I want to give up, cursing the universe for the bad hand I was dealt, I think of them. When I question whether truly unconditional love exists, all I need to do is recall this life story and look at their pictures. Despite MS, my grandmother dedicated her life to her children, instilling love and values that remain to this day. You see, what matters at the end is our life story, our legacy; the story that will be told to future generations. Each of us is slowly writing a story that will be told someday, and it is incredibly important that we write one that we will feel proud of.

My mother was the oldest child in her family. Due to her mother’s progressive MS, at age 12, she took over a majority of the household chores and duties, becoming a surrogate mother for the 6 younger siblings in the home. My mother needed to grow up quickly, and assume the role of a parent at a very young age. At the time, there was simply no choice. Rather than playing, my mom would cook, clean, and help younger children bathe. She sacrificed her own needs for those of her family, and she never failed in her duty. The defining characteristic of a mother is the resolve to care for her children and protect them from harm, no matter what. My mother continued to care for others when I was born, and she was the most wonderful mother anyone could have asked for; I truly don’t know how I got so lucky! She provided me with a beautiful childhood, and gave me all any child could ever need, always putting my needs before her own.

My mother set a wonderful example for me, and I try to carry that on each day. I struggle with MS daily, but despite those struggles, I can still enjoy my children. I see their innocence, their desire to see the world as a beautiful place. My goal is to continue to allow them to see things as awe-inspiring, breathtaking and amazing for as many years as possible. I try to share openly and honestly with them, letting them see certain aspects of my disease, but shielding them from others. I am fortunate to have witnessed two incredible examples of motherhood in my own family, and I think of these incredible women every day. Each mother with MS is going above and beyond, coping with physical challenges while sacrificing daily for her children. Thank you to every one of the MS moms in the world; each of you is a true hero. Thank you, Grandma Bette, and I love you, Mom! Happy Mother’s Day to all…..

*Meagan Freeman was diagnosed with RRMS in 2009, at the age of 34, in the midst of her graduate education. She is a Family Nurse Practitioner in Northern California, and is raising her 6 children (ranging from 6–17 years of age) with her husband, Wayne. She has been involved in healthcare since the age of 19, working as an Emergency Medical Technician, an Emergency Room RN, and now a Nurse Practitioner. Writing has always been her passion, and she is now able to spend more time blogging and raising MS awareness. She guest blogs for Race to Erase MS, Modern Day MS, and now MSAA. Please visit her at: http://www.motherhoodandmultiplesclerosis.com.

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May 2016 Artist of the Month: Celebrating the Work of Artists Affected by Multiple Sclerosis

MSAA is very proud to present our 2016-17 Art Showcase – celebrating the work of artists affected by MS.

We have received many wonderful submissions from across the country and are delighted to share their work and their stories with you. Please visit our online gallery to view all of the new submissions.

May Artist of the Month:
David Desjardins – Union, ME
Country Cottage
David Desjardins - Country Cottage

About the Artist:
“Painting has always been a rewarding way to express myself. Ironically, I find that as my disabilities increase, so does the quality of my work increase.

To me, there is no better feeling than hearing someone tell me how much they love a painting I created. It gives me a tremendous feeling of well-being and accomplishment every time I finish one.”
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Stories to Inspire: MS Client Swims for MS and More

By Peter Damiri

“I actually hugged my doctor when I found out I had MS,” explained Simone Sanders, 29, of Seaside, California. “After having so many symptoms for so long, I was relieved they found out what was wrong with me and that something could be done to help. But then, I was also frustrated that I had a chronic illness that had no cure.”

Simone struggled with a myriad of unexplained medical issues since her early 20s. Following the onset of several severe exacerbations, she underwent MRI testing and received the official diagnosis of multiple sclerosis.

“I lost my vision, couldn’t walk, and lost my job,” recalled Simone. “I couldn’t drive or go anywhere, wasn’t active, and became very depressed. But I found support from MSAA as well as talking with others who have MS. They pulled me out of my depression and helped me realize that I can accept my diagnosis of MS but do not have to be crippled by it.”

Now married to an Airman First Class in the United States Airforce and looking to start a family, Simone has since regained the majority of her vision and ability to walk, but still struggles with daily fatigue and a variety of periodic MS symptoms. However, rather than focusing on the negative, Simone maintains a powerful fighting spirit as she strives to improve her physical and emotional wellbeing through diet, exercise and a deep, personal commitment to help others with MS.

“I try to be as active as I can, running 5K charity races with my cooling vest from MSAA – which has been a lifesaver. I’m always looking for new ways to help the MS community and was happy to find Swim for MS,” said Simone.

“I had a passion for swimming ever since I was eight-years-old and was really good at it. After my diagnosis, it made sense to go back to swimming and exercising in the water, especially when I had access to a pool. Then when I heard about Swim for MS I said, this really fits with my interests and passion and it’s for a good cause for people like me.”

With the goals of swimming 1,000 laps in three months and raising $1,000 for MSAA, Simone began her Swim for MS challenge in late March. She bases her ambitious goal on her average swim of 10 laps per day, but also recognizes this can fluctuate due to her struggles with fatigue and other MS factors.

“Some days are really bad days and even some weeks are bad, but when I’m in the pool I know that I can push myself to do my best,” said Simone. “The coolness of the water helps keep me from being overheated and I can float to rest when needed.”

Recognizing the benefits she receives from her cool suit, Simone would like to dedicate donations from her Swim for MS fundraiser to help support MSAA’s Cooling Program as well as other vital services. She recently enlisted the support of her mother to help recruit donations from family members and plans to promote her Swim challenge to her new military family as well.

“Even though my goal is to swim 1,000 laps, I feel accomplished no matter how many I finish because in spite of everything I’ve been through, I’m still able to swim,” Simone said. “I tell myself every day to have courage and have faith. Have the courage to get up in the morning and have the faith to get through the day, and do the best you can.”

MSAA would like to thank Simone for granting us this interview, choosing to support the MS community through Swim for MS, and inspiring all of us to stay positive and keep fighting every day. To visit Simone’s webpage and support her Swim for MS challenge, please visit: http://support.mymsaa.org/goto/simoneswim. For more information on aquatic exercise and MS or how to start your own Swim for MS fundraiser, please access www.SwimForMS.org.

Simone Sanders - Copy

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