Blame the Disease, Not the Person

Posted on October 22, 2021 by MSAA

By Stacie Prada

Question: What was most and least helpful when you were first diagnosed?

Answer: The people. Collectively, they were the most helpful. Individually, some were the most and some were the least helpful.

The people who listened, asked questions and validated my feelings helped me the most with my multiple sclerosis diagnosis. Answering sincere questions helped me analyze what was true at that time and what was fear for the future. Thinking through the issues and explaining my experience helped separate what I could influence from what I couldn’t. They offered suggestions while respecting my opinions and decisions. The paid support people who helped me immensely included my medical support team: primary care provider, counselor, neurologist, and physical therapist. The unpaid support team included family, friends, coworkers, online connections, and the local MS self-help group.

Those who told me what I needed to do or why I shouldn’t worry were naïve and ill-informed. They would prescribe treatments without knowing what caused my symptoms or what my symptoms even were. They’d tell me I’d be fine since someone they know who has MS is fine. They assured me I’d stay healthy to appease their own fears, not mine. They included people in all of the categories listed above who helped me immensely. A person’s profession or relation doesn’t automatically place them in the category of helping or hindering. How they behave and interact does.

The people who judged me harshly for how my health was impacting them caused the most stress, guilt and pain. I was criticized for being less attentive in my relationships and for letting MS be my focus. I believed it was a personal fault that I was burdening others.

I genuinely thought I should be able to deal with my health privately and keep doing everything I’d been doing for others. I wanted to be strong and prevent the people in my life from being affected by my diagnosis and documented chronic illness.

MS symptoms and exacerbations made me unable to meet the expectations I had for myself and others had for me. It helped me realize the expectations had always been unreasonable. I learned I’d never be able to be healthy physically and emotionally if I kept trying to meet unreasonable expectations.

I realized I can’t do this alone, and I shouldn’t.

The people who validated that I needed to address my health and accepted things would change – they helped me the most.

The people who were angry, hurt, blamed and resented me for their unhappiness – they helped force me to realize I didn’t need to keep working toward the life I’d been building, and I probably couldn’t if I kept trying. In a painful way, they helped me open my future to more possibilities. Changing things wasn’t failure, it was survival.

Survival requires self-care. To people who are used to benefiting from an unhealthy relationship dynamic, other people practicing self-care feels like neglect. It’s good that terms are available now to describe manipulative behaviors. Consider (and look them up if unfamiliar) gaslighting, shaming, isolating, catastrophizing, guilt-tripping, silent treatment, insults disguised as jokes, and jealousy are just some of them. Hopefully discussions and education on unhealthy relationship tactics help people recognize them instead of feeling responsible for other people’s feelings and accusations.

It helped the most when I and the people in my life accepted my health as a fact of my life and worked together to make the most of my abilities and limitations. They watch out for me, help me reflect, know my health may inconvenience them at times and always make it clear they are on my team.

We are united in our approach: Blame the disease, not the person.

*Stacie Prada was diagnosed with RRMS in 2008 just shy of 38 years old. Her blog, “Keep Doing What You’re Doing” is a compilation of inspiration, exploration, and practical tips for living with Multiple Sclerosis while living a full, productive, and healthy life with a positive perspective. It includes musings on things that help her adapt, cope and rejoice in this adventure on earth. Please visit her at http://stacieprada.blogspot.com/

A Letter from a Friend

Posted on October 20, 2021 by Selena Fisher

Dear friend,

I am sorry to learn of your recent MS diagnosis. My heart cannot truly grasp the emotions you must be experiencing. I imagine this new chapter of your life has been quite scary and frustrating for you. Please know that you have a community of advocates behind you cheering you on.

I have seen firsthand how an MS diagnosis can take you on a wild emotional roller coaster ride that you never asked to be on. My mother was diagnosed with MS back in 1996. Advances in research and educational information about MS were much different back then. She wasn’t told that every person’s MS journey is unique and can look totally different than someone else’s. As a family we had no idea that MS didn’t look the same for everyone who was diagnosed with it.

As you deal with being newly diagnosed, I’d like to share with you a few words of encouragement that I wish someone had given my mom.

Your story as an MS fighter is completely unique to you. Try to stay away from searching online and get your information from reliable sources such as your doctor’s office and MS organizations like this one I’m writing to you from. Also, staying positive is extremely important as you navigate through this uncharted territory. Remember, toxic emotions release neurotoxins into the body. Additionally, being mindful of the type of food you put in your body goes a long way. And Lastly, never be afraid to ask for help, and never be ashamed to advocate for yourself.

Friend, I want you to know that I think of you often and wish you all the best as you learn to live life as someone who has been newly diagnosed with MS. MSAA is rooting for you, cheering you on, and doing everything we can to make a positive impact in your life and on the entire MS community.

We are here for you, and we care about you.

Introducing a Roadmap for the Newly Diagnosed

Posted on October 18, 2021 by MSAA

Receiving news of an MS diagnosis can be intimidating. Overwhelming feelings and questioning where and how to begin your journey is normal. To address this need, MSAA is proud to present Roadmap for the Newly Diagnosed, a series of educational fact sheets to direct new members of the MS community to the most sought information after an MS diagnosis.

Each fact sheet is designed to help support you as you start out on your MS journey, and includes topics such as:

Understanding your diagnosis
Accepting your diagnosis
Making an informed decision on sharing this diagnosis with others
Building a healthcare team
Various terms and phrases used frequently in the MS community
Additional resources for the newly diagnosed

Feeling unsure of which fact sheet to begin with? Alongside the fact sheets is a short, informational questionnaire that can help guide you to the fact sheets you may want to review first!

Roadmap for the Newly Diagnosed Fact Sheets

While an MS diagnosis can be disconcerting and anxiety-provoking, there are resources available to support you. View the Roadmap for the Newly Diagnosed fact sheets now on MSAA’s website.

A New Diagnosis

Posted on October 13, 2021 by Angel Blair

Being diagnosed with MS can be a scary and unsure time. Lots of questions come up in the process and produce many thoughts centered around ‘what if, how, and when’ concerns. It can be overwhelming to learn about the disease too as there is so much information available on it. But there’s no right or wrong way to start educating yourself and others about the condition. And it’s important to know that it’s not something that can or has to be learned overnight. I always tell clients to have patience with themselves and to learn things as they’re comfortable doing so. Everyone is different and approaches things in their own way and time and that is ok. Below are some commonly asked questions that arise during this period for many diagnosed and their loved ones.

Can I still work?

This question comes up often as individuals consider what their future may look like with MS. It will depend upon one’s symptoms and course of their disease, but many people do continue working in some capacity with their diagnosis. Job accommodations can be asked for to help modify work schedules, tasks, and routines. Vocational Rehabilitation offices located in counties throughout the country work with individuals who need assistance in finding/maintaining employment that meets their needs when managing disease symptoms and issues. Having a conversation with the doctor can help with this too. Evaluating any changes that could be beneficial in the workplace or considering whether to and if it’s the appropriate time to retire or apply for some type of disability benefits can be discussed. It’s a very personal and tailored decision that comes with a lot of thought and input. Finding what’s right for you can take some time and deliberation so again have patience with this process too. More information about Employment and MS can be found on MSAA’s website here, https://mymsaa.org/publications/employment-and-ms/.

How do I disclose my diagnosis to others and help them understand the disease?

Again this is something that has no right or wrong answer or way of going about it. When and if you decide to disclose your MS diagnosis to others is a personal and unique decision and can be done in different ways. Letting others know right away or waiting to tell them is something each person decides based on differing factors. Like their relationships with their family and friends—whomever is in their support network, their employer and colleagues, etc. Some people will seek out and find comfort and support by telling others. While some who may not receive the same level of care from those they know may decide to wait or not disclose. For those who show interest and want to learn more about MS there are many outlets in which they can do so. Using reputable MS sources of information online, watching educational videos, listening to podcasts and webinars are just some ways. There are many avenues to educate about the disease. For the latter individuals who may not have that inner-circle support, there are several ways to find these support resources elsewhere.

Is there support available?

Yes! And in more ways than one. This is a question some folks ask hesitantly because they’re not sure if this is something they want to pursue right out of the gate. This is completely understandable. Every person’s experience with MS is different so sometimes it can be intimidating and uneasy to interact with others who may have a different course with their MS—different symptoms and varying degrees of disease progression. But this too can be something that’s uniquely approached. People can choose to connect with others as they find it necessary and feel comfortable in doing so. And if they make the decision to, there are many avenues to try. There are MS organizations, support groups, and online communities, including MSAA’s peer support forum My MSAA Community, that individuals can turn to for information and support.

One of the most crucial things to know is that you do not have to go through the diagnosis alone. Whether just diagnosed or years into its course, you don’t have to do it by yourself.

Tom Burzinski – October 2021 Artist of the Month

Posted on October 1, 2021 by John MSAA

Each year, we feature the work of artists affected by multiple sclerosis in our annual MSAA Art Showcase. We receive many wonderful submissions from across the country and are delighted to share the work of these artists and their inspirational stories with you, including highlighting one artist each month as our Artist of the Month. This month, we are proud to feature artist Tom Burzinski of Rochester, MN:

Tom Burzinski artwork entitled "Me, Myself, and I" as part of MSAA's Art Showcase — *“Me, Myself, and I”*

About the Artist – Tom Burzinski

Continue reading →

Community Views: A Magical MS Bag

Posted on September 29, 2021 by MultipleSclerosis.net

Life with multiple sclerosis (MS) requires lots of preparation and thought. There is much you need to successfully navigate each day.

We wondered what items, real or imaginary, help get you through a day. We asked community members on our Facebook page to tell us: “If you could create an everyday MS bag (think Mary Poppins pulling a lamp out of her purse kind of bag) that held everything you would need to be prepared for your day, what would be in it?”

You had some “practically perfect” responses!

Plenty of meds to help with flares and pain

Managing MS means keeping prescriptions and over-the-counter drugs with you. Flares and pain can arise at any time. You feel like a portable pharmacy.

“Pain killers.”
“Advil. Lots of Advil.”
“Medical marijuana.”

Tools to help you regulate your temperature

Temperature regulation can be challenging with MS. Many of you frequently overheat and sweat profusely. You would pull items to help you stay cool out of your magic carpetbag. While more of you need cooling items, some of you need items to keep you warm!

“Cooling pads.”
“My new cooling vest.”
“A portable cold shower and ice machine.”
“Air conditioning year-round. 2nd-floor condo facing southwest; year-round AC.”
“My neck fan.”
“Ice packs and cold drinking water!”
“A heater.”

Materials that explain MS to others

Often people in your life do not understand the nature of MS. It is wearying having to explain the disease over and over. Several of you wished for the ability never to explain this disease again.

“A huge stack of books explaining what MS is to hand people and tell them not ever to talk to me again unless they read the entire book.”
“Flyers of what MS is, so I don’t have to explain it anymore.”

Plenty of feel-good items

Comfort items were high on your list of things to pull out of your bag. These items help you feel supported navigating life with MS. Flares with MS are miserable. These items soothe both mind and body.

“Sweatpants, sweatshirt, my fuzzy socks, pillow, my softest blanket, Architectural Digest to look at pictures, a plant, my iPad, water, eye mask for sleeping, and my dogs.”
“Muscle relaxers, ice packs, pain meds, my teddy bear, phone and charger, and a good book if I can see. Oh, and some snacks!”
“Tennis shoes, Dr. Pepper, pain pills, room-temp water, sunglasses.”
“My iPad and a martini.”

A bit of magic

Many of you enjoyed using Mary Poppins’ magic in filling your MS bag! It is fun to dream big about what you could pull out of a bag when there are no rules. Your creativity and imagination are impressive!

“Fairy dust. For sprinkles of peace, joy, happiness, calm, and healing. And a couple million dollars.”
“Energy.”
“The cool breeze of the NE ocean in summer and the dry weather of the SW in winter.”
“A toilet.”
“A never-ending paycheck, so I could stop working and tend to my health issues.”
“I would pull out a cure for all of us.”

We appreciate all the responses you provided to this prompt! From the serious to the silly, we enjoyed hearing what you would pull out of a magical MS bag. Thank you all for participating and being part of the community.

MS Relapses: An Evolution of Perspective

Posted on September 27, 2021 by MSAA

By Stacie Prada

Multiple sclerosis relapses are scary for the symptoms they bring, and they’re overwhelming for the individual prognosis. Sharing our history and perspectives on relapses can help each of us gauge how we’re similar and different. It can show us how we are at different locations on similar paths or how we’re not on the same path at all. Anticipating how long my path is, what I may encounter along the way and how quickly or slowly I’ll reach each phase helps me put today in perspective and plan for the future.

Years 1 through 5 after MS Diagnosis were full of relapses, and my primary goal was to not have a relapse. Those years were full of stress, confusion and frustration. The amount of information to learn and apply was staggering. The reliance on doctors to provide testing and assessment of whether I was having a relapse or not made me feel helpless. My health journals overflow with information to help me make sense of my body. Each relapse felt like failure.

Year 5 – Monitoring MS Symptoms and Trying to Avoid Relapses
I started blogging, and my lessons learned became more accessible for me to find later. This one is a go-to resource that reminds me to pay attention to what my body needs while accommodating what life requires.

Year 6 – I Feel Like a Rock Star!
I was declared “stable and in remission.” I reached a point of confidence where I felt like I could finally tell if I was having an exacerbation or not. I knew how terrible I felt when I was having a relapse, and I knew how well I could feel when I wasn’t. I’d learned my body enough to know which symptoms were normal for me. I could distinguish between when the intensity and duration was likely due to existing damage from previous relapses and when it was likely new active MS activity.

Year 8 – When is it an MS Exacerbation?
I documented and shared my mental checklist for relapse self-diagnosis with examples. I still read it whenever I wonder if I’m having an exacerbation.

Year 10 – Relapse Management
People with MS do not have complete control over whether or not they have a relapse. If someday there is a determined cause, cure and 100% effective management regimen, then that might be possible. Until then, the only ways I think relapses can be managed are to tackle them when they happen, reflect on them after they happen to try to find any patterns or contributors that you might be able to control, incorporate what helps, avoid what doesn’t, and try to make the fear manageable when they do happen. This post includes 13 Guidelines to follow that serve me well daily, then and now.

Year 13, Present Day – Symptoms without relapses: I look back to achieving the highly sought-after status of stable and in remission at year six with fondness and appreciation for the feeling of success. I envy my naiveté thinking that without relapses I’d be safe from disease progression.

The truth is nerves with old lesions can function for a while and give out much later. Some nerve function can repair, but it can also decline causing symptoms to worsen long after the relapse that caused the lesion.

The majority of people with MS start with relapsing-remitting MS. The statistic that about half of people with MS transition to Secondary-Progressive MS in ten years is based on a time when disease modifying medications didn’t exist. Since these medications are intended to reduce the frequency of relapses and delay disease progression, I’m hopeful I’ll stay in the RRMS phase or take much, much longer than ten years to enter the SPMS phase. Differentiating between what is possible, likely or probable is tough. There are no guarantees, nor are there inevitable outcomes.

With or without relapses, MS is with me and will shape my future. What I can do is keep doing what I’m doing. Keep learning, monitoring, adapting, and factoring my health into my daily decisions and long-range plans. Appreciate the people on this journey with me, and make sure to have fun along the way. Take very good care, all.

Signs of an MS Relapse

Posted on September 24, 2021 by Selena Fisher

When you have a relapse of multiple sclerosis (known as an exacerbation or flare-up), nerve signals are disrupted due to damage in the brain or spinal cord. As a result, you may experience new or returning symptoms. An MS relapse is defined as one lasting longer than 24 hours and occurring at least 30 days after any previous relapse. The duration, severity, and symptoms of relapses are all different. Here are a few common signs of an MS relapse.

Weakness

Normal messages from the brain to the body are disrupted when the protective covering of nerve fibers is damaged. When such signals are disturbed, the body stops working properly. Things you used to do easily, like opening a jar or turning a doorknob, can seem challenging during a relapse. You may be experiencing a relapse if you have sudden or worsening weakness that does not go away.

Vision Impairment

It’s possible that you’re starting to relapse if your eyesight is blurry or you’re seeing double. As the optic nerve becomes inflamed, some people lose their depth or color vision. Vision issues can be caused by taking a hot shower or bath, or by a viral infection like the flu, but they are just momentary and should go gone within a day.

Numbness

One of the most typical indicators of a recurrence in multiple sclerosis is numbness. It’s possible to lose so much feeling in your hands or other affected body parts that it’s difficult to use them. You might be unable to write or hold a cup of coffee. Please pay a visit to your doctor if your numbness is new or getting worse.

Cognitive Challenges

It’s aggravating to lose track of where you put your vehicle keys or to have to reread the same phrase several times simply to grasp the meaning. MS can impair your mind in a variety of ways, especially as the disease develops, affecting with memory, focus, language, and information processing. Any new difficulty thinking clearly or recalling past events could be a sign that you may be experiencing a relapse.

Feeling Dizzy

It’s uncomfortable to feel lightheaded or unstable on your feet, but it’s a frequent symptom of MS relapses. Damage to the areas of your brain that control balance causes dizziness. In the short term, there are medications that can help relieve the ‘room is spinning’ sensation, but if it lasts longer than a day, you may be experiencing an MS relapse.

If you suspect that you are experiencing an MS relapse, please reach out to your doctor to share your concerns. What you are experiencing could possibly be signs of an MS relapse.

What is this?

Posted on September 22, 2021 by MSAA

By Doug Ankerman

Several months after I was bestowed with my MS diagnosis, I hit a rough patch.

My legs were weak and wobbly. My balance off-kilter. But the worst, was my vision.

My focus would go in and out. While bright lights turned me into a shriveling shrew.

Oncoming car headlights forced me to wear sunglasses at night. Not in tribute to 80’s pop-star Corey Hart, but because the glare was blinding.

(Yeah, I continued to drive because I was young, dumb, and bull-headed.)

What was I experiencing? A relapse? A flare? An exacerbation? Frankly I didn’t care what it was called—all I knew was that I was terrified.

My mind spun wildly. Was my condition here to stay? Was this my new life? Did Corey Hart have MS, too?

Lucky for me a three-day bender of IV steroids (and with it, the taste of sucking on an iron popsicle) helped put things back to normal. Well, as normal as MS could be.

Time passed. Relapse-free. But multiple sclerosis continued a slow, gradual nip and tuck at my faculties till doctors gave me the title of being “secondary-progressive.”

Which was fine. Whatever. It was just name to me. Some may think my outlook is trite but I believe when one has MS, you toughen up. You learn to deal with every situation. And take nothing for granted. You appreciate small victories. Cherish every moment. Live each day like crazy. Because when you have MS, you know how quickly things can change.

If you think you are experiencing a MS relapse, talk to your doctor first. But also remain calm. Breathe deep. And if you can avoid it, don’t wear sunglasses at night.

*Doug writes silly stuff about MS and other topics on his humor blog at myoddsock.com.

Cinnamon Apples

Posted on September 20, 2021 by Melissa Young

What a perfect side dish to make in September! Maybe you could even go apple picking.

These Cinnamon Apples are a quick and a terrific way to add a fruit to your table this fall season. Great to top on ice cream, waffles, and granola.

Ingredients

2 Tablespoons of butter
5 Medium apples peeled and diced
1 Tablespoon sugar
2 Tablespoons ground cinnamon

Instructions

In a large skillet melt butter.
Add in medium apples and coat with butter.
Sprinkle in the sugar and cinnamon and stir.

Cook on medium heat for 10 minutes until the apples become soft.

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