When my sister and I were little we used to wish for a different grandmother. I know that sounds terrible! But we were young, we didn’t know any better, and we thought our grandmother was the meanest woman alive at times! LOL.

Looking back at that now I can laugh because that was ridiculous. Yes, my grandmother was tough and strict sometimes, but whose isn’t? She really did mean well and just wanted us to be safe and well taken care of. Being a kid if you heard “no” then that adult was just plain mean, and your opinion gets tainted. But as we grew older our relationship with our grandmother blossomed into a bond that could never be replaced.

I was lucky enough to live with my grandmother much of my young life. She was that Italian grandmother who loved traditions and who baked and cooked and fed you until you felt like you were going to burst. My grandmom was warm and caring and loving, and we could see and appreciate that more as we got older.

Instead of thinking that she was mean and unfair we started to see her as the strong matriarch figure that she was. Despite enduring so much personal strife and tragedy in her life she remained strong and always persevered. She stood up for herself and her family and always spoke her mind.

As I got older, and even now, I refer to my grandmom as my “happy medium.” She was always my steady balance between others not caring enough (or at all) or some people that have too much to say and suffocate (even though they may mean well). She gave the right amount of attention to something and made sure not to hover when it wasn’t warranted. My grandmom showed her love but didn’t smother and gave honest feedback and opinions. I look back at these qualities and only hope that I can continue to carry on these traits of hers and others.

I was older when my grandmom passed away and I’m grateful for that and the time we shared. But no amount of time is ever enough with the ones you love. Thinking of things she’s missed makes me sad, but I hope she’s somewhere watching over us and still being a part of our day to day. I hope I embody her strengths and her love and that I’m making her proud. I’ve tried to live my life being strong like her and being a figure that my family can depend on. Without even thinking about it I’ve realized she’s influenced me in more ways than one and for that I will be forever grateful.