By Stacie Prada

Self-care: Anything that nourishes me physically or emotionally, reduces stress, or improves my well-being.

Self-care is necessary and often neglected. That said, it only feels neglected when we’re feeling stressed, overloaded, or having a hard time. It’s important to give ourselves credit for all we do to care for ourselves and others every day.  Perspective matters. If we remember how much we’re already doing, it’s easier to show compassion for ourselves.

Self-care by definition means taking an active role in taking care of ourselves, physically and emotionally. It implies it’s solely a Do It Yourself (DIY) responsibility. When feeling overwhelmed or not well, it’s natural to believe the answer is to just try harder. This is when we need to remember we’re like a DIY home project: we can’t and don’t need to do it all on our own.

DIY home projects include decorating, renovating, repairing, and maintaining our homes without hiring a professional. We wouldn’t expect our homes to be well-maintained or improve without effort. If we can’t afford to hire professionals, we need to know or learn how to do it ourselves. I’ve done a lot of DIY home projects, and all of them involved using tools, materials, and knowledge created or compiled by others.

Those of us without great financial wealth serve as our own personal chef, housekeeper, chauffeur, financial advisor, accountant, and fitness trainer. When we recognize how much we do in all of these and other roles, we should consider ourselves daily superheroes!

I like remembering self-care is DIY, because it reminds me to prioritize it. I have people who care about me and will help, but ultimately, I need to be responsible for identifying and addressing my needs. If I don’t know what I need, and I don’t share what I need, no one can help. If I’m clear on what I need and I need help, I can ask for help. If I ask for help, it’s possible to get help.

I’m a fan of getting credit for what I’m already doing. Sometimes feeling better isn’t about doing more or being pampered, it’s about how I perceive myself, the life I’m living, and the people in it. Sometimes I interpret a busy day as rushed, challenging, and frustrating, and others I judge it as productive and rewarding. The difference between rewarding days is usually that I tended to my physical and mental needs. I took moments throughout the day to hydrate, stretch, use the restroom, look away from a computer monitor, and connect with people with interest and compassion.

It’s helpful to reflect each day, and I use the following questions to help assess how I’m doing and consider what will help me with my self-care:  

• What nourished me today physically and emotionally?
• How did I show compassion for myself or others?
• If I’m feeling low, do I need to make a change or get help?
• What did I do today for strength, flexibility, or movement?
• Did I hydrate and eat food with fiber and nutrients?
• What was stressful today, and what would help?

These aren’t pass-fail questions. They’re helpful as a self-care tool for reflecting and being honest with myself. Knowing I’m going to consider them helps me include healthy habits throughout the day. Answering them helps me decide how best to tend to my needs.

Some days self-care will mean resting without guilt. Others are pushing myself to achieve something that fulfills my sense of accomplishment and purpose. Self-care sometimes requires striking a task from the list without doing it. All of these situations and decisions are worth celebrating as successful self-care.

*Stacie Prada was diagnosed with RRMS in 2008 just shy of 38 years old.  Her blog, “Keep Doing What You’re Doing” is a compilation of inspiration, exploration, and practical tips for living with Multiple Sclerosis while living a full, productive, and healthy life with a positive perspective. It includes musings on things that help her adapt, cope and celebrate this adventure on earth. Please visit her at http://stacieprada.blogspot.com/