I have always been the type of person who prided myself on being independent. I tend to be the one to always say, “I’ve got it,” and handle all responsibilities alone. The one who rarely asks for help because I don’t want to inconvenience anyone. As someone who was raised to always accommodate others, I have spent my adult years really attempting to unlearn this behavior. And now becoming a mom, I’ve learned the hard way that it is nearly impossible to do it all alone.
It is with the additional obstacles of caring for a literal human while also working, maintaining a home, and navigating postpartum life that my eyes have really opened. I have grown up with a very supportive family, and I married into another one, so why do I always feel obligated to take care of everything alone?
The truth is – motherhood can feel incredibly isolating, and it’s okay to admit that. It’s important to be open and vulnerable about these feelings and to talk through them with people you trust. Having people to lean on – whether it’s your partner, family, friends, or in-laws – can make all the difference. If your loved ones are offering support, not only is it okay to accept it, but it is important to remind yourself that it does not make you any less of a mother if you do. Rather, it makes you a more capable one to understand that you cannot fully care for others if you do not first care for yourself.
One of the bigger lessons I am learning on this journey is that you cannot pour from an empty cup. Asking for and accepting help has allowed me to fully concentrate on work, clean and make my personal space more comfortable, exercise and prioritize my health, and also recharge physically and emotionally so that I can show up as a healthier, more present mother.
To all the moms reading this: please know that you do not have to do it all alone. Reach out to the people who love you. Say yes when someone offers to watch the baby for an hour. Lean into your community.
Motherhood shouldn’t be about proving how much you can carry by yourself. It should be about building a life that both you and your child can enjoy and thrive in. Being only six months into this journey, I know I still have so much to learn. But one thing I’m sure of is that reassurance and support can go a long way. Please be kind to one another.