For many people, the holidays are pictured as a “most wonderful time of the year,” filled with parties, gifts, and endless cheer. But for those living with multiple sclerosis (MS), the season often feels different. It can bring a complicated mix of emotions, ranging from genuine gratitude to overwhelming stress. If you find yourself dreading the calendar flip to December, you are not alone. By acknowledging both the darker challenges and the lighter joys, you can find a way to navigate the season that works for you.

When the Holidays Feel Heavy

It is important to be honest about how difficult this time of year can be. The pressure to be “merry” can sometimes feel like a heavy weight. As one author described, the holidays can sometimes feel “like a shark rocketing from the depths,” arriving suddenly and aggressively.

For many, the disruption of a regular routine is the hardest part. Relentless social events, travel, and late nights can wreak havoc on a body that relies on consistency to manage fatigue. Beyond just being tired, the sensory experience of the holidays can be painful. Bright lights, loud music, and crowded stores can trigger sensory overload. One forum member shared that after developing hyperacusis (sensitivity to sound), “almost everything Christmas is truly torturous,” comparing the sound of bells to “an ice pick.“

There is also the emotional toll. MS can be an isolating disease, and seeing others out and about can highlight feelings of loneliness. Having to cancel plans last minute because of symptoms often leads to guilt. As one writer noted, “The level of guilt I have felt from others when I haven’t been able to attend holiday functions… has had a tremendous effect on me.“

Practical Ways to Adapt

While you cannot control your MS, you can control how you approach the season. The key, according to many community members, is preparation and simplicity.

Instead of trying to do everything, focus on what is manageable. One contributor suggests starting early—even as early as September—to clear your schedule of unnecessary appointments or tasks. “Simplicity is key,” the author writes. This might mean switching to a Secret Santa gift exchange so you only have to buy one present, or using gift bags instead of struggling with wrapping paper.

Forum members also recommend being upfront with family. Writing a thoughtful note to remind loved ones that your absence isn’t about them, but about your health, can prevent hurt feelings. If you do attend a gathering, have an escape plan. As suggested by a community moderator, find a quiet room where you can take a timeout to lay down and recharge away from the hustle.

Finding Your “Lighter” Moments

Despite the challenges, it is still possible to find pockets of joy. The goal isn’t to force happiness, but to find comfort in small, sensory experiences. One writer suggests focusing on things that soothe you, like the smell of evergreen candles or the warmth of a heating pad. “Revel in the thought that life can still be delicious,” she advises.

For some, joy comes from modifying traditions rather than abandoning them. When one community member couldn’t visit her family for Christmas due to transportation issues, she used paratransit to visit on Christmas Eve instead. She also found purpose in writing a holiday skit for her church, focusing on the meaning of the season rather than the commercial stress.

Others find peace in staying home. One forum participant candidly shared, “Just let me stay home and enjoy my own time,” preferring to curl up with Hallmark movies rather than feeling ignored in a wheelchair at a party. Similarly, another member mentioned filling days with “football and Christmas movies,” proving that a quiet holiday is still a valid one.

Be Kind to Yourself

Ultimately, the most important holiday tip is self-compassion. You do not have to meet everyone’s expectations. As several individuals mentioned, it is okay to use catering instead of cooking, or to shop online to avoid the physical drain of stores.

Whether you connect with the “Bah Humbug” feelings or the “Hallmark movie” vibes—or a little bit of both—your experience is valid. Take breaks, set boundaries, and remember that surviving the holidays is an achievement in itself. As you navigate the coming weeks, try to offer yourself the same kindness you would offer a friend.