No more stress? Is that even possible?

stress-and-post-its-penelope-cBy Penelope Conway

Stress is not a good combination with Multiple Sclerosis. I hear all the time how stress needs to be limited to keep from triggering an exacerbation, but how do you do that in a world full of “I want it now” people and “it can’t wait” situations?

There are hundreds of lists on the internet explaining what you can do to avoid stress, but listing things out and doing them are two different things. Then if you add MS into the mix of things, it seems an impossibility.

Maybe your day starts something like this…

You wake up in the morning to a busy day planned. You didn’t hear the alarm clock earlier so you are already being rushed to get your day started. It’s early, you’re exhausted and your body isn’t cooperating. You take a shower, and even though you did every cool down technique you know, your body is simply too weak to keep going at the fast pace you have set for yourself.

You take a moment to rest then push on to get dressed so you can get out the door to make up for missed time. All the while, playing through your head is a rundown of everything you must do today. You have lists created, app alarms set on your phone to remind you of your time constraints and post-it notes scattered everywhere.

You do your best to hold back your frustrations but before you have even left the house to begin the day, you are feeling overwhelmed and defeated.  Somehow MS just doesn’t fit into a busy day and somehow you always seem to forget that tiny little fact.

The unexpected happens much more often now that MS is a part of your world. You get tired faster, weak muscles limit your functionality, your vision messes with your ability to complete even the simplest of tasks, dizziness and vertigo trip you up, and your thinking gets all muddled in the process. It’s hard planning for the MS unexpected. I always say a life with multiple sclerosis is like a box of chocolates…you never know what you’re gonna get. (Thanks Forest Gump for the inspiration.)

I have discovered that stress makes you extremely tired and can cause MS to worsen, but it’s stressful to avoid stress so you end up stressed out anyway. It’s really not easy trying to avoid stress. Ugh…just thinking about it is stressing me out.

So how do you fit a life with MS into a stress free list found on the internet? Well, for me that’s an impossibility. It seems MS doesn’t like lists or plans. It kind of has a mind of its own and doesn’t seem to want me to know ahead of time what it has in store for me throughout the day.

When life become overwhelming, and many times even before it gets to that point, I find that I need to take a moment to step back from all my commitments, work, and obligations. I need to take a moment to pause and re-examine everything. Literally.

Is there anything I could change or remove from my day that would help ease the load? Do I really need to vacuum the house today, tomorrow or even next week? If I wait and take a shower before I go to bed rather than when I get up in the morning, will it help? Can I recruit someone to pick up a few things from the store for me so I don’t have to go? Will the world fall apart if the laundry isn’t finished?

You are more important than the chaos that surrounds you and way more important than the stress that it can cause. Work on changing your workload bit by bit, little by little, moment by moment. You won’t be able to quit everything (which I happen to think would be nice to do at times) and you won’t be able to stop the world from spinning out of control, but you can make a positive change in your own life.

Take time to slowly work your way out of those over-commitments by finding others willing to step in and help. You may need to juggle schedules around and say no to people you normally wouldn’t say no to, but in order to simplify your life and relieve the pressures weighting you down, you have to do it. It’s not an option.

Do what you can today and leave the rest for another day. Take one step closer to living stress free, and before you know it you will be enjoying your life….even with Multiple Sclerosis.

*Penelope Conway was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in November 2011. She is the author and founder of Positive Living with MS (http://positivelivingwithms.com/) where she uses humor and her own life experiences with MS to help others navigate this unpredictable journey. She believes that staying positive and holding onto hope is the key to waking up each morning with the strength to get through the day.

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About MSAA

As a national nonprofit organization, the Multiple Sclerosis Association of America is a leading resource for the entire MS community, improving lives today through vital services and support. MSAA provides free programs and services, such as: a toll-free Helpline; award-winning publications including a magazine, The Motivator; website featuring educational videos and research updates; S.E.A.R.C.H.™ program to assist the MS community with learning about different treatment choices; a mobile phone app, My MS Manager™; a resource database, My MS Resource Locator; equipment distribution ranging from grab bars to wheelchairs; cooling accessories for heat-sensitive individuals; educational events and activities; MRI funding and insurance advocacy; and more. For additional information, please visit http://www.mymsaa.org or call (800) 532-7667.

Comments

  • Jason Rogowski says:

    I vape marijuana to calm down and reduce stress. 👍

  • Juana Driver says:

    Thank you! Describes our (my) daily life challenges perfectly. Always re-evaluating what is the most important thing to do today. Also learning not to be so hard on myself when I don’t get anything on my list done. So thankful for the support we have today.

  • Sarah Johnston says:

    Thank you. I so needed this today. Penelope is my favorite blogger. <3

  • Leah says:

    As usual so well put Penelope! You are correct…we as MS’ers need to learn to prioritize what is truly important for us and our particular condition.
    Doing this can certainly aid taking the pressure off ourselves and limiting our stress levels. Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, and the like…can wait another day; we must truly focus on what our body and mind are telling us
    on that particular given day in order to function as best as we can. MS is a mental and physical work in progress…we need to take the time to be patient and forgiving to ourselves…we come first! Thanks for your wise
    Inspiration.

  • Roland Clarke says:

    Even though I’m retired, I can relate to this. My 2PMS makes me struggle at night so I don’t wake refreshed. I then struggle during the day just to get a few basic things done. I’m meant to be a writer but that gets really tough some days. (Falling asleep as I type…will wake up very soon with excruciating spasm.)

  • Rosemarie says:

    Can you get MS at 63 years old

    • MSAA says:

      Hi Rosemarie,
      While most people are diagnosed with MS between the ages of 15 and 50, one can be diagnosed at any age.

      If you have questions about multiple sclerosis or would just like someone to talk to, please feel free to reach out to one of our Client Services Specialists at our toll-free number (800) 532-7667, extension 154. You can also email them with questions at MSquestions@mymsaa.org

      Thank you,
      Emily MacHenry
      Communications Coordinator at MSAA

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