By Doug Ankerman
It’s a well-known fact multiple sclerosis is different for each individual. What pains you might not bother me at all. MS symptoms can be as unique as one’s personality.
That’s why writing about the “ABC’s of MS” can be a real toss-up.
What “ABC” means to you could be totally different from what I believe.
Your “ABC” could mean “Always Buy Crisco.” Maybe it stands for “Absolute Best Cat.” Or, short for “A Bulky Corduroy.”
Only you know your particular definition.
In my experience, the “ABC’s of MS” stands for “Any Bathroom Close?”
“Any Bathroom Close?” because I’m always on the hunt for the nearest facility.
You might say I have a nose for American Standard. A proboscis for porcelain. Why I can smell a urinal cake at 50 paces.
Experts remind us to scope out the nearest exit in case of fire. Yeah, I’ll do that right after I find the absolute shortest and quickest route to the little boy’s room.
Here’s a picture of a diagram I found in an airline lavatory…
This sure looks like me! Legs crossed…either from spasticity or incontinence. And the same big, bald Charlie Brown head.
As a frequent traveler with an active bladder, I am familiar to the location of every rest area, service plaza and McDonald’s east of the Mississippi. (C’mon, I’m not the ONLY one who stops at Mickey D’s JUST to use the potty, am I right?)
Okay maybe I am exaggerating just a tad — but it does seem like I am constantly searching for the loo.
Whatever “ABC” means to you…”Another Burnt Cookie,” “Adoring Badger Care” or “Always Bundle Cardboard”…to me, the “ABC’s of MS” will invariably be short for “Any Bathroom Close?”
But that’s just my opinion.