Too Too Hot

By Doug Ankerman

Yep that’s me in my usual place on hot days… laying in front of the register, hogging all the AC.

Except on THIS hot day (the 1st one of the season) our air conditioning was on the fritz. There would be no refreshingly cool splendor till we had someone come check it out.

Our neighbor knew a guy who knew a guy who did AC work on the side. Always looking to save a few bucks, we called the “mystery guy” named Dennis who said he wouldn’t be available for a couple days.

“No prob,” we replied. “We’ll see you then!”

What followed was a stretch of near 90 degree temps with thick Ohio humidity you could serve with a ladle.

Yes, I was fried.  My MS-infused nerve endings were popping like bacon on a hot skillet. My dogged feet dragged ruts in the carpet going room-to-room in search of a cool spot.

I baked. It would have been cooler in the oven had I turned on the exhaust fan.

I rejoiced as word came that Dennis, my new-found AC savior, would be here the following afternoon. That night was another restless slumber. I actually had to be peeled from the sheets getting up in the morning.

My legs were weak. My arms were numb. I was Betty Spaghetti’s older brother, Bobby.

Put me in a strainer ‘cuz I was 180 lbs of cooked pasta.

Dennis knocked on the door promptly at 3:30. After I finished kissing his scuffed boots, he and his tools commenced to work on our defunct air conditioning.

A mere five minutes later the behemoth box was humming with life. Seems it had been turned off outside and all Dennis had to do was flip a switch. (We had new siding installed last fall so the siding guy disconnected the AC and simply forgot to turn it back on.)

Cool air returned — and slowly, so did feeling in my body.

Thanks to Dennis I have returned to my usual summer haunt. Hogging all the air. A glutton for comfort, I am.

I tell you this tale because you already know the tricks of keeping cool when temps flare. So I’ll just remind you to be careful. Work slow and steady. And enjoy the too too hot summer wisely.

*Doug writes silly stuff about MS and other topics on his humor blog at myoddsock.com

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Don’t Wait, Act Now!

By Doug Ankerman

There are things we are reminded to do on a regular basis.

Replace batteries in smoke alarm
Floss
Rotate tires

Some are to be done seasonally, others annually.

Change furnace filter
Swap baking soda in fridge
Have eye exam

And yet, others are on an “as needed” basis.

Cut toe nails
Vacuum inside car
Shave back

But what I ask is… “Why wait to make a change or a new beginning?”

Why wait till a new season? Till the new year? The next month? Or, even Monday?

Do it now. This moment. There’s nothing stopping you. Do something right now to improve your being. It doesn’t have to be huge. Drink water instead of soda. Eat a piece of fruit. Stretch your weary legs. Take a deep breath. Dance to music. Make a silly face.

My point is, don’t wait to begin anew. Certainly, our nemesis multiple sclerosis doesn’t wait around. It doesn’t wait for the following day, week or month to wreak havoc. Heck no, that bad boy changes constantly. So we must be willing to change with it.

A fresh start, or a new beginning can happen anytime YOU want it to. There is no need to put it off till the flip of a calendar. You can make a change right now. This very instant.

Replace car’s air filter
Have an MRI
Clean dryer vent

Okay, okay, I understand the importance of replacing batteries in one’s smoke alarm—but don’t put a timeline on improving yourself.

Get started right now. That other stuff can wait.

*When not shaving his back, Doug writes goofy stuff about MS and other topics on his humor blog at myoddsock.com

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Relaxing Method: 4-7-8

By Doug Ankerman

4-7-8 relaxing method of breathing

Trying NOT to sound like an infomercial, snake oil, salad shooting pitchman BUUUUUT here’s the easiest, cheapest and most relaxing method to melt stress and ease pain while clearing your head.

No more warming oversized beanbags in a microwave.

No more soaking in the tub till you’re a giant prune.

And no more oily and expensive massage sessions.

Yes, this stress reliever is no mess. Can be done anywhere at YOUR convenience. And is absolutely free. You heard right…FREE!

What is this life-changing, stress-reducing procedure, you ask?

It’s breathing! Breathing to a count of 4-7-8, in particular.

What’s 4-7-8, you ask? (You ask a lot of questions!)

Well, 4-7-8, beside being my locker number in junior high, is a simple, deep breathing technique that helps restore energy, focus… and sanity in this cray-cray world.

Let’s break it down so you can learn to breathe the 4-7-8 way…

FOUR

Begin by inhaling through your nose to a slooooww count of four. One…. Two…. Three…. Four. Make it a deep, belly-expanding breath. Filling your lungs to max capacity with fresh air.

SEVEN

Next, hold that glorious breath for a seven count. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

EIGHT

Finally, exhale through your mouth as you slowly count to eight. Tighten your belly, squeezing out as much stale, old air as possible.

Repeat the compete cycle again. Inhaling through your nose to a slow count of four. Hold the fresh air for seven. Before slowly exhaling through your mouth for an eight count.

Do the 4-7-8 cycle several times as you focus on slowly inhaling, a relaxed hold, followed by a slow, controlled exhale through your mouth.

I like to breathe 4-7-8 when first waking up. Breathing fresh air deep into every cell gets your body ready to rise and shine. Likewise, a few 4-7-8’s before bedtime releases the day’s stress and preps your mind and body for a restful night’s snooze.

The 4-7-8 breathing technique can be done anytime! Anywhere! At your convenience! Whenever you feel stressed. At work. At home. Even at the in-laws! 

Melt stress today…. with 4-7-8!

4-7-8 is yours, absolutely free, but I feel no shame in accepting credit or even a donation!

*Doug Ankerman writes silly stuff about MS and other blurbs on his humor blog at myoddsock.com.

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Our Relationship? It’s Complicated

By Doug Ankerman

Relationships come in all forms. Personal. Family. Professional. Casual. The list runs as long as your arm.

Each relationship, different in its own way. And each, as unique as the next.

We try our darndest to be careful with words and actions not to lead, disrupt or inflame. Care must be exercised to keep a relationship in its particular form — as crossovers can mean trouble.

Add multiple sclerosis into the fray and judgements can be blurred. Thoughts jumbled. Feelings fuzzed.

That is why I am thankful for two very special relationships in my life. 

One, with a local auto parts store. And the other, the neighborhood plumber’s supply.

There, we experience connections on a higher plain. A shared silence of understanding.

Not being handy, nor mechanical, I am mummified to explain what I need or am attempting to do.

Relationships - Doug looking confused

Mostly, I shuffle into their establishment with a pathetic look on my face.

A blank stare of incompetence.

From my pocket, I produce a worn-out part, some gadget-gizmo. I don’t know its name or purpose. I simply put it on their dirty counter and let them go to work.

Not a word is exchanged as they see the desperation in my eyes. They will gather up everything I need. Then carefully explain how to complete my back-handed attempt at the project.

Of course, having MS, their words fly over my head like Blue Angels at an air show.

(They are seeing my dumb face pictured above, remember?)

So, they simplify their explanation. Even drawing me a crude diagram on the back of the receipt.

Satisfied, I shuffle back to my car and home again with new-found confidence.

Balsa-wood bravado. Paper-thin capability. But it’s all good. 

What we have is special indeed. A relationship that’s…yeah, it’s complicated.

*Doug writes about multiple sclerosis and other stuff on his humor blog at myoddsock.com

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You Are Not Alone – Anxiety and Depression in MS

By Doug Ankerman

It is not easy.

Of all symptoms one can experience with multiple sclerosis, I find anxiety and depression to be the most challenging.

For foot drop — I wear an AFO. Heat tolerance — I put on a cooling vest. Balance issues — I use a rollator. But for anxiety and depression, there is no aid. No clunky piece of equipment to help you through. Continue reading

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Reluctant to Change

By Doug Ankerman

Multiple sclerosis has been, and continues to be, the best disease I could ever have!

(More on this later.)

When it comes to change, I have been reluctant, even rebellious, my whole life.

Strange places, new faces, different situations make me Continue reading

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War is Heck

By Doug Ankerman

You, with multiple sclerosis, fall-in, and listen up! You’ve got a battle to win. It’s time to step up and fight!

As you know stress is your enemy in this war. Your silent, invisible, debilitating nemesis.

Now, stress is Continue reading

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Abracadabra

By Doug Ankerman

Nothing up my sleeve! It is magic I tell ya!

Magic how a disease like multiple sclerosis works from the inside-out. Hiding your symptoms from those around you.

MS uses deceptive tricks to mask your illness, prompting some to ask the dreaded, cringe-worthy question… Continue reading

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10 DOs and DON’Ts of Keeping Busy

By Doug Ankerman

If you are a homebody like me, the current stay at home directives are no big deal. Keep busy on the other hand can at times be as challenging as finding a pen that works when needing to take a message. That’s why I offer you these “10 DOs and DON’Ts of Keeping Busy.” Continue reading

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Being an M&M

By Doug Ankerman

They call THESE challenging times, huh?

Well they don’t know squat about those of us with multiple sclerosis!

They don’t know challenging until they button a shirt with MS “fumble fingers.”

They don’t know challenging until they enter a place with a door that opens out—while sitting in a wheelchair. Continue reading

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