By Doug Ankerman
Yep that’s me in my usual place on hot days… laying in front of the register, hogging all the AC.
Except on THIS hot day (the 1st one of the season) our air conditioning was on the fritz. There would be no refreshingly cool splendor till we had someone come check it out.
Our neighbor knew a guy who knew a guy who did AC work on the side. Always looking to save a few bucks, we called the “mystery guy” named Dennis who said he wouldn’t be available for a couple days.
“No prob,” we replied. “We’ll see you then!”
What followed was a stretch of near 90 degree temps with thick Ohio humidity you could serve with a ladle.
Yes, I was fried. My MS-infused nerve endings were popping like bacon on a hot skillet. My dogged feet dragged ruts in the carpet going room-to-room in search of a cool spot.
I baked. It would have been cooler in the oven had I turned on the exhaust fan.
I rejoiced as word came that Dennis, my new-found AC savior, would be here the following afternoon. That night was another restless slumber. I actually had to be peeled from the sheets getting up in the morning.
My legs were weak. My arms were numb. I was Betty Spaghetti’s older brother, Bobby.
Put me in a strainer ‘cuz I was 180 lbs of cooked pasta.
Dennis knocked on the door promptly at 3:30. After I finished kissing his scuffed boots, he and his tools commenced to work on our defunct air conditioning.
A mere five minutes later the behemoth box was humming with life. Seems it had been turned off outside and all Dennis had to do was flip a switch. (We had new siding installed last fall so the siding guy disconnected the AC and simply forgot to turn it back on.)
Cool air returned — and slowly, so did feeling in my body.
Thanks to Dennis I have returned to my usual summer haunt. Hogging all the air. A glutton for comfort, I am.
I tell you this tale because you already know the tricks of keeping cool when temps flare. So I’ll just remind you to be careful. Work slow and steady. And enjoy the too too hot summer wisely.
*Doug writes silly stuff about MS and other topics on his humor blog at myoddsock.com
