By Dan and Jennifer Digmann
When we hear the word “roots,” we tend to gravitate toward where we came from. We think about our parents and grandparents, our hometowns, traditions, and family stories.
But maybe our roots are more than these.
Perhaps they are what our families taught us, both intentionally and unintentionally: the values we absorbed, the ways we learned to treat people, and the lessons we carried forward as we built lives of our own.
We grew up in different families, but we brought many of the same values into our marriage.
People matter. Showing up matters. So does helping when we can, working through difficult things, staying connected, and recognizing that none of us gets through life entirely on our own.
For Jennifer, those values took root during Michigan Wolverines football Saturdays with her dad and brother, and shopping trips to Chicago with her mom and Granny. For Dan, they grew through backyard football and Wiffle ball with his siblings and games of 500 Rummy with his Grandma Otten.
Those were some of the roots planted for us.
As our relationship grew, we began planting our own roots. We were married on September 10, 2005. Of course, Multiple Sclerosis already was part of the soil.
Jennifer was diagnosed in 1997. Dan was diagnosed a little over two years later. By the time we met in 2002, MS was shaping both of our lives. Living with this disease together has challenged us to consider which inherited values we wanted to nurture and which new ones we wanted to grow.
Taking care of each other doesn’t mean one person always has to be the strong one. Our needs as a married couple living with MS are different, and so are the ways we support each other.
That’s partnership.
Faith doesn’t require having all the answers. For us, our Christian faith has helped us live with questions and uncertainties that don’t always have easy answers.
Advocacy sometimes begins with saying, “This isn’t right,” and trying to make it better for ourselves as well as for whoever comes next.
And never underestimate the value of laughter.
Not everything about MS is funny. Far from it. But when life includes wheelchairs, walking challenges, accessibility obstacles, and plans that can change without warning, sometimes laughing together helps us through the things that aren’t.
Maybe that’s what we’ve come to understand about roots.They grow, stretch, and adapt to the conditions around them. Sometimes they become stronger by finding another way forward.
MS has shaped our lives, but it didn’t create the values at their center. In many ways, it has helped us see more clearly which values matter most. Take care of each other. Keep showing up. Accept help. Speak up. Find humor where you can. Try to leave things a little better than you found them.
Those are roots worth growing.
Some are planted for us.
Some grow from experiences we never expected.
Others, we choose to plant ourselves.
About Dan and Jennifer
Dan and Jennifer Digmann each have lived with multiple sclerosis for more than 26 years and are the creators of “A Couple Takes on MS.” Through their podcast and blog, they share honest conversations about life, love, caregiving, advocacy, and finding joy despite the challenges of MS. They have been married for nearly 21 years, and together they believe some of life’s best moments are built one step, one roll, and one story at a time.