I woke up this morning yet again to the reality of multiple sclerosis. Sometimes it feels like I’m stuck in the movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murray. Do you remember that movie? Every morning the alarm clock would go off and the same day would begin…over and over and over.
I don’t know when it started for me, but day after day my life became a blend of naps, computer screens, brain fog moments and doctor appointments. Trying something new just didn’t seem to fit into the mix of things.
From the outside everything in my world looked fine. I had a roof over my head, food in my pantry, an internet connection to get online with and friends both near and far, but what couldn’t be seen were the limitations I began having because of MS and the stresses that came with those limitations.
I failed at everything I tried to do. I had a hard time clipping my own fingernails, couldn’t drive safely even to the corner store, ran into walls that weren’t even in my way, tripped on air, forgot appointments and dropped everything I got my hands on. Talk about depressing…ugh! No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find the stop button for the out of control spinning chaos that surrounded me.
If someone approached me with even the thought of getting out and doing something new, at that time in my life I had become so defeated that I couldn’t hear what they were saying and would lash out at them for even suggesting such a thing. All I could see were the things I couldn’t do. Those were not some of my proudest moments, but great friends help you get through the rough patches in life, and thankfully I have great friends.
I call them my Push Coaches. They pushed me to see past my limitations and helped me to see that there is always more than one way to doing something. I discovered that the only real limitations I had were the ones I created for myself and realized that trying new things actually made me happier in life.
As weird as it may sound, stepping out from my daily routine brought excitement to my day and became a welcomed change of pace to the day-in and day-out rut I had gotten myself into.
Sure, my legs may not work well anymore, my hands may fumble with everything I get a hold of, and vertigo may keep me from seeing straight, but those things should never stop me from trying something new. I was determined to try something new at least once a day.
At first I did simple things like taking a different route to the grocery store or wearing crazy colored socks. Those simple changes to my day surprisingly made me smile more. After a short period of time I found myself seeking out other things to try like community art classes and volunteering at the local hospital. I began looking forward to the changes in my day.
It takes a lot of courage to get out there and do something new. If I could be your Push Coach today, I would encourage you to step out from your daily routine and try something new. Change your hair color, try a new tea flavor, join a book of the month club, enroll in cooking classes…just get out there and try something new.
Don’t let MS keep you from having new and exciting adventures in life. Besides, you just might surprise yourself and find a hidden talent you didn’t even know existed.
*Penelope Conway was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in November 2011. She is the author and founder of Positive Living with MS (positivelivingwithms.com) where she uses humor and her own life experiences with MS to help others navigate this unpredictable journey. She believes that staying positive and holding onto hope is the key to waking up each morning with the strength to get through the day.