By Penelope Conway
Do you know that old saying “It takes a village to raise a child”? Well, I happen to know for a fact that it takes a village to navigate this life with multiple sclerosis.
I was always an independent person. One of those “I can do it by myself” kind of people. I could change the oil in my car, repair a leaking pipe under the house, open those impossible pickle jars and move furniture without even breaking a sweat. Having to shift that type of independence after MS came along was really hard for me.
I found that I needed help getting to appointments because my eyesight and motor function had decreased making it unsafe for me to drive myself, especially if going long distances.
I needed reminders (albeit sometimes annoying) for some of the simplest things in life like “be sure to set your trash out today for pick-up.” Something I wouldn’t have forgotten in times past.
I needed help pulling wet clothes out of the washing machine because my hands just couldn’t properly grip the wet clothes. Then folding the clothes and towels once they were dry would take me hours to complete.
I found that there were tons of things I needed help with. As an independent, I-can-do-it-myself kind of person, that was not an easy thing for me to come to terms with but it has gotten easier over time. I can still be a bit stubborn, but I know my limits and reach out when I know I need help.
If I can enlarge my circle of support, I am always willing to give it a try. I was even talking to my neighbor yesterday about calling on her if I have trouble opening those easy-to-open packages that aren’t really easy to open or when I can’t get a pill bottle open. She was more than happy to be asked to help out.
One thing I found to be extremely important is to let those that are helping you out know just how much you appreciate what they are doing. If they know you value their support, care, and love, it gives them a sense of purpose and they know that the things they do matter. Even the small things like picking up the mail or stopping by for a chat should never be taken for granted.
People need to know the time they put in to helping you makes a difference. They may say you don’t need to thank them, but thank them anyway. It always matters.
I have had some people that would always drag me down with their know-it-all advice and negative attitude, but do you know what I did? I cut my ties with them. Sometimes that is the healthiest thing you can do. MS is not any easy things to deal with and you don’t need any added stress to your day making things worse. Set up boundaries and don’t back down.
Surround yourself with positive people that lift you up. You deserve to be happy.
*Penelope Conway was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in November 2011. She is the author and founder of Positive Living with MS (positivelivingwithms.com) where she uses humor and her own life experiences with MS to help others navigate this unpredictable journey. She believes that staying positive and holding onto hope is the key to waking up each morning with the strength to get through the day.