Making MS the Punch Line

By Doug Ankerman

Finding humor in situations is what I did WAY before multiple sclerosis became my dance partner.  Writing jokes and doing stand-up comedy about the oddities of life and experiences was a way of dealing. So little did I know this skill (if you can call it that) would help me cope with an MS diagnosis back in 1996. Likewise, who knew sharing silly observations about MS would help others too. Helping them realize they are not alone.  That what they are thinking, feeling and doing is not problematic – it is just a part of life with chronic illness.

For example, do you notice Continue reading

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Who Wants to Know?

By Lauren Kovacs

MS has so many symptoms that it is hard to pick one that is talked about the least.  I will pick the most embarrassing, potty issues.  Admit it, no one touches this with a 49 1/2 foot pole.

Doing “the pee pee dance” is not often brought up.  Most moms can pick out a kid doing it though.  Dancing is not usually an MS thing either.  A pee pee wiggle or shift is all many of us can do.

One minute you are fine and the next minute the dam is about to blow.  Not much warning is how most of us roll.  Ladies after your period, I know you are draining off that bloat.

Your skinny jeans don’t fit because of the bloat.  Skinny jeans are hard to peel off quickly when you got to go, NOW!  You can’t wear them any way.  Leggings are a nice alternative.

I was never a fashion plate.  Being trapped in girls sizes never allowed for much sexy  dressing.  Being tiny does, in fact, carry some serious disadvantages.  Getting things tailored is not exactly practical for me.

Now, I am looking to replace my cute zipper/button shorts with the pull-on style. Easy off when I really got to go.  Plus, pulling them down or up, with one hand while using the grab bar for stability with the other is easier.

While athletic shorts are not super flattering, they give me a fast pass to board the potty. Bikers shorts underneath then help keep an incontinent pad in place.  That is a mental crutch for me.  It is there just in case.  I only employ that strategy on long trips. I worry about peeing myself a lot.

Now I stop to tinkle at every place possible.  It drives my husband and sons batty.  My young iron bladder was replaced long ago by pregnancies and age.  Then throw the MS into the mix.  Bad combo.  Kind of like when my son dips watermelon in ranch dressing.   The combo is never good.

On a trip to Canada a few years ago, I used the potty every chance I got.  My husband joked that I peed my way through Toronto.  Maybe, but I felt secure in my bladder.  I never worried about the dam breaking.

I can’t think of potty accidents as being no big deal or just an MS thing.  It can be crippling to plan around and deal with.  The worry and fear of potty accidents are very scary monsters. They are very real monsters for MS folks.

I always make sure my bowels are clear, before I leave the house too.  I get up and begin my day, before everyone else.  This gives them the signal that they need to be clear.  Gross, but still an unspoken MS thing.

I carry extra pants/shorts in my purse.  I roll them and secure with hair ties. Guys may have to carry a man bag.  Sorry dudes.  Some things you can’t stuff in your pockets.

I went from a diaper bag with stuff for the kids/babies to a large purse.  The kids are older now, but tissues, sunscreen, Purell, Advil, Band-Aids, cough drops, and the like are always needed.  In a way it is the family bag.  Someone always needs something and my purse has it.

Prepare for the worst. One thing I learned from my sons in Boy Scout is to always be prepared.  My purse is heavy, but someone is always digging through it.  They make fun of its weight, yet my purse is essential to the entire family.

Worrying about potty issues will not rain on my parade.  If the storm comes, I am prepared.  Make room for worries like fatigue and heat and not potty issues.  Try and live the wee bits of life that you can.

Trying is all we can do.  Ask a fellow MSer what they do about potty issues. (Go for someone of your same sex.  Plumbing matters).  Chances are that most will be happy to share.  It is mortifying when you have an accident.  Have a plan in mind. I am the typical “worst case scenario” lady, but at least I try to be prepared.

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