By Stacie Prada
Self-advocacy is hard work. We’re likely advocating for ourselves in tiny ways all the time, and we don’t notice when there’s little to no resistance. Frustration grows when we meet opposition and live with pain and unmet needs.
Barriers to self-advocating: Sometimes, I don’t know what I need, I’m unsure of what resources exist that could help, or I’m not being heard by those who could help me. Even if they want to help, they might not know how.
Continue readingBy Stacie Prada
If I could talk to my younger self, I know she’d be surprised, excited, proud, and likely a bit skeptical to learn that I’ve genuinely found fulfillment in imperfection.
I was a very timid and quiet child. I feared making mistakes, looking dumb, and not doing things right. I tried to avoid any possibility that I’d do something to be ridiculed or judged negatively.
I visibly shook throughout a presentation on candle-making to my fourth-grade class. It was torture to be the center of attention in a classroom. A high school presentation of a memorized poem wasn’t much better. Neither my nine-year-old self nor my 15-year-old self would ever have imagined that someday I would frequently present with confidence to large groups. Young me would be amazed that I overcame my fear of public speaking. People who have only known me for the last 10 years would not believe I was ever that shy and fearful.
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Without changes in routines or seasonal differences, it’s easy to lose track of time, day of the week, month, and even time of year. It’s good to have consistent healthy habits, but variety in schedule, activities, and environment helps us mark time.
Consider driving a long stretch of highway. They have names for the experience of driving a distance, losing track of time, and being surprised not to remember it: highway hypnosis and white line fever.
The more monotonous an experience, the less alert we’ll be, and we become more apt to operate on autopilot. It’s a small leap to compare this to our lives and how we experience time passing. The less we notice and the more we operate on autopilot, the more time can fly by.
Continue readingBy Stacie Prada
March is MS awareness month, and it’s a good time to reflect on the lessons I’ve learned while navigating life with multiple sclerosis for 16 years. Of all of the lessons I’ve had to learn, the hardest has been accepting my MS is not just my problem.
When I was diagnosed with MS, I firmly wanted to be able to deal with it myself. I saw it as my problem, and I didn’t want it to affect those around me. I saw it as solely my responsibility, and I thought it would be unfair for me to let it burden anyone else.
Continue readingBy Stacie Prada
Some bonds can withstand extreme stress and grumpy behavior. Others falter with the slightest misstep or misunderstanding.
Sometimes I wonder where I stand with people I haven’t seen in a while. After getting divorced, I worried I was portrayed in a way that led people to judge me in a way I thought was unfair and inaccurate. When encountering people I haven’t seen in a while, I’m not always sure if their opinion of me has changed. I cherish those who light up when they see me. My fears and insecurities vanish immediately, my entire body relaxes, and I delight in the reunion.
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One thing to remember about New Year’s resolutions: They are not required. If you don’t want to make any, don’t. I like them for the feeling of a fresh start and hope for a better future, but I also know that I need to be ready before I make a change. If I try before I’m ready, it will end with feelings of failure and guilt.
Coming out of the holiday season, I recognize I did a lot, and I don’t feel like I took enough time to rest and recharge. Now it’s January, there are many things to do, and I’m not feeling completely ready. I’ve been too busy getting things done each day to take a step back and look longer term.
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Bright lights on buildings and cool decorations
Brighten the landscape and cause a sensation
Snail mail and email share tidings and cheer
Wishes for wellness and Happy New Year
Kindness from strangers and heartfelt connection
Show us what matters and trigger reflection
Posts on the social show who they hold dear
Wishes for wellness and Happy New Year
Visit with loved ones and arrive gift bearing
delight in giving while sharing and caring
Joy, peace, and goodwill for those far and near
Wishes for wellness and Happy New Year
When fatigue hits
When the stress rears
When I’m overwhelmed
Focus on what matters, let go of the rest,
and deem the season success!
This was written for fun to be sung to the tune of “My Favorite Things,” by Oscar Hammerstein II and Richard Rodgers in their musical, “The Sound of Music.” Take good care all!
*Stacie Prada was diagnosed with RRMS in 2008 just shy of 38 years old. Her blog, “Keep Doing What You’re Doing” is a compilation of inspiration, exploration, and practical tips for living with Multiple Sclerosis while living a full, productive, and healthy life with a positive perspective. It includes musings on things that help her adapt, cope and celebrate this adventure on earth. Please visit her at http://stacieprada.blogspot.com/
By Stacie Prada
Have you ever been in a mood and had something happen that changed it in a moment? It happens a lot, and some moments stick through the years.
I recall being at work years ago, and cheerfully saying, “Good morning!” They responded quickly and sharply, “What’s good about it?”
I don’t remember how I responded then, but I still think about how it startled me. I felt like I’d done something wrong, and I wasn’t sure what. My mood swiftly dropped from happy to resentful. This memory helped me learn the life lesson that we’re all living different experiences, and lots of interactions have nothing to do with us.
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Fall where I live means shorter days, less sunlight, more rain, and colder weather. I realized after my Multiple sclerosis diagnosis, that seasonal shifts to spring and fall are times when I’m more susceptible to MS exacerbations. I used to worry about it, and it’s taken a lot of effort to feel more confident approaching seasonal changes.
My usual approach is:
By Stacie Prada
Self-care: Anything that nourishes me physically or emotionally, reduces stress, or improves my well-being.
Self-care is necessary and often neglected. That said, it only feels neglected when we’re feeling stressed, overloaded, or having a hard time. It’s important to give ourselves credit for all we do to care for ourselves and others every day. Perspective matters. If we remember how much we’re already doing, it’s easier to show compassion for ourselves.
Self-care by definition means taking an active role in taking care of ourselves, physically and emotionally. It implies it’s solely a Do It Yourself (DIY) responsibility. When feeling overwhelmed or not well, it’s natural to believe the answer is to just try harder. This is when we need to remember we’re like a DIY home project: we can’t and don’t need to do it all on our own.
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