Feeling connected is different than connecting. I can go long periods of time without seeing or talking to some people, and when we see each other we continue as if there’s been no gap in time. Others I worry when it’s been a while. Usually it’s not because of how we are interacting, but because I feel guilty for not reaching out more or doing more.
When MS is giving me a hard time, I’m often drawn to Continue reading
I get anxious, but I never considered I might have anxiety. I’ve heard people talk about how it feels to have panic attacks, and I know I haven’t experienced one. I thought of anxiety as something constant and debilitating. I do yoga, I laugh, I’m active, and I’m productive. Having a diagnosis of anxiety doesn’t fit in with how I view myself.
But when I research anxiety, I realize that what may not be paralyzing for me could still fall perfectly under the anxiety umbrella.
Grinding teeth, nausea, headaches, problems sleeping Continue reading
Slow change can be really tough to handle. Its gradual and persistent nature can disguise itself as normal and stable. Only when it reaches a threshold or shifts might we feel the results.
I’ve been living with multiple sclerosis unknowingly and knowingly for almost thirty years, and in the last 12 years I’ve known lesions in my spinal cord are the root cause of pain and my body malfunctioning. I know my body is damaged from MS, I sense where it’s going, and yet Continue reading
Stress is one of the many symptoms that come with living. It isn’t a root problem, although it can feel like one. Stress is the indication that there is something else going on, and it isn’t always bad. The excitement of an upcoming event causes stress, and I wouldn’t want to skip over the feelings of anticipation and accomplishment that come with looking forward to or working hard for something.
That said, it would be great Continue reading
Many health conditions and symptoms are never seen by others and remain unknown to the people in our lives until we talk about them. Even then, what our friends and family members see and what we tell them don’t match. The disparity between how we look and how we feel makes it hard for others to believe it’s as much of an issue as we say.
Some of my invisible symptoms are widely shared by many people with multiple sclerosis. There’s fatigue, Continue reading
As summer hits and pandemic-closed businesses open up in my area, it’s exciting to have my local drive-in theater open again. I hadn’t been to a drive-in movie in decades, because staying up late and watching from my car didn’t hold a lot of appeal for me. I’m now a convert. The ability to get out of the house and do something social and special boosted my mood immensely.
Everyone has different preferences and needs, but Continue reading
My goal is to not just make it through this pandemic, but to enjoy this time. I don’t want to wait for things beyond my control to change to be able to be happy, have fun, and be fulfilled.
If I wait for someday, I’ll miss now, and now may last a while. It’s unsettling to live with uncertainty and be required to change my normal routines. A lot of my routines have evolved over a long period of time to help keep me living as well as I do with multiple sclerosis. Uncertainty is a Continue reading
It’s tough right now living through a pandemic. I assume I’ll live through it, but many will not. I appreciate hearing from people who are having a hard time, because I’m glad they’re expressing themselves. I think the silent ones are sometimes the ones to worry about most.
When I think of everything I need to figure out, solve and do, it’s overwhelming: work while adapting to a state of emergency, isolate physically, help others in need, maintain Continue reading
With the current coronavirus spreading, wellness is at the forefront of the news. I live in Washington state where the first confirmed cases and deaths from COVID-19 (the coronavirus) in the United States occurred. My neurologist’s office is in Kirkland, the epicenter of the US outbreak. We have a confirmed case in my community, and others are pending test results.
I’m writing this on March 8, 2020, and news updates are frequent. By the time I hit publish on this post, Continue reading
Experiencing life events and trauma can change a person. We all experience life milestones and challenges, yet they are so personal and timed differently for each of us that how we react or change is never the same. Losing a loved one or experiencing an illness is different when experienced as a child, a young adult or as an older adult. Our expectations and life skills are different at each point in our life, and what may be life changing for one may be life affirming for another.
As I reflect on how being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and living with symptoms has affected me, it’s difficult for me to Continue reading