I’m turning 50 this year, and I’m excited. I have genuinely been looking forward to it for years. No exaggeration.
Approaching the half century mark is a big deal. Anyone who lives to age 50 will have experienced many joys and challenges. I think acknowledging the wonderful and terrible things we’ve enjoyed and endured in our lives is a worthwhile assignment. (See my post on My Life List.)
Family relationships are hard. I look back at decades of immediate and extended family holiday gatherings, and I notice what has changed and what seems like a given. Long-held disconnects or resentments lie beneath the surface and feel ready to erupt at any moment.
Consider as mere mortals, it’s rare to be perfect in these moments. I’ve left family gatherings spending huge amounts of time thinking about Continue reading
It’s the morning of my MRI scan and neurologist appointments. Leading up to them, I’ve anticipated needing to seek support and to allow myself time to process whatever I learn today. I tell myself that test results don’t change how I’m doing. They just give me more information to consider.
The rub is that I anticipate being sad with any possibility today. I feel worse than I did earlier this year. Eight months ago, I learned Continue reading
In true keeping with not quickly remembering the lessons I’ve already learned, it took me a few months of building frustration before seeing a situation I’m experiencing as something I could approach differently.
I volunteer for our local self-help group, and increasing work and personal health demands are making it harder for me to continue doing everything I’ve done for the past six years. I’d asked for volunteers to help. Some stepped forward and I appreciated their help, but still I felt responsible for more than I can continue.
I was getting frustrated, and resentment was building. I was getting Continue reading
I’ve started thinking it should be the standard to have our time with multiple sclerosis described with two numbers. It would be similar to blood pressure readings where two numbers have meaning on their own but give a fuller picture of a person’s health when described together. Our time living with MS could be described as the number of years since we were diagnosed over the number of years we estimate we’ve been living with MS.
For me, I was diagnosed Continue reading
It’s interesting to me that the same task can feel stressful sometimes and relaxing others. It really shows that it’s not about what I’m doing, rather it’s how I feel when I’m anticipating or doing it. It’s how I judge the task in the moment.
Needing to cook dinner after a long workday may feel like one more burdensome thing that needs to be done, while spending hours in the kitchen baking or creating a new dish on a weekend might be a therapeutic activity resembling meditation for the focus and relaxation I feel.
The same can be true for Continue reading
In a conversation with coworkers years ago, one person reflected on his summers spent in their backyard pool in California. I responded with excitement and jealousy that he had his own pool when all I had was a bike! Another coworker who grew up in Hong Kong, exclaimed with awe, “You had a bike?!?”
Wow. I laughed at my own ignorance to my privilege. To think she grew up in a large city and didn’t have a bike at all made me realize just how special it was Continue reading
By Stacie Prada
The artistry of words inspires me greatly. The ability to express ideas and emotions critically with nuance and creativity moves me to feel deeply. Add rhythm and melody to the poetry of song lyrics, and it becomes something I can use for managing my well-being.
Music is especially useful for coping with any challenge, because it has the ability to replace the thoughts going through my head. If I can recognize when looping thoughts are taking over my mind and mood, I can change my attitude and outlook with music.
Artistry that speaks to me changes Continue reading
As a young child wrapped in my mother’s arms, I’d hear her ask me, “What am I going to do with you?”
I’d answer in tempo with the script we’d created, “Hug me, and kiss me, and love me forever.” She’d squeeze me harder while kissing the top of my head, and I knew she would.
She died suddenly at the age of 47, and she never knew I had multiple sclerosis. This was 15 years before I was diagnosed with MS, yet she’s been a constant companion as I’ve navigated my life in general and the challenges I face living with MS.
Throughout the past 25 years, Continue reading
I love being organized. I love containers and labels. I love having my finances organized and being able to find paperwork when needed. It brings me a sense of peace to plan things, be prepared and know what to expect. When everything has a place and is put away, it brings me joy. Living with a chronic illness like multiple sclerosis can be the exact opposite of that. It’s unpredictable, it disrupts plans, it can be invisible, and often it doesn’t have a logical reason behind the symptoms it brings. It can be manageable, but it’s not curable. Unlike my belongings, it can’t be fixed and controlled.
I know not everyone Continue reading
