I don’t think many people take time for themselves nowadays. I think our society has this rushed, always do, on the go mentality that skews our perception of what is important and what should take priority. For many it’s a natural and human characteristic to want to be a people-pleaser and do for others much of the time. But I think our sense of self gets lost in this and Continue reading
Tag Archives: Emotions
Staying Grounded in Thought When Your Mind Wants to Fly
Unexpected moments in life, whether they are an emotional or physical crisis can cause the mind to take off down the racing path of “what if’s”. You know, those questions that no one can answer, like “what’s going to happen” or “what if it doesn’t work out”.
It is easy to get swept up in a panic when those thoughts occur. So what can you do to bring your thoughts back down to earth? Try grounding yourself. No, not physically tying yourself to the ground, more in the figurative sense. Grounding practices have been used in the therapeutic treatment of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder for years and are a helpful and effective technique to master.
The concept of grounding is the act of focusing your mind on a single object or action in order to ‘block out’ thoughts that are causing the panic feeling. Grounding techniques often use the five senses (sound, touch, smell, taste, and sight) to immediately connect individuals with the present moment.
Think of it as a distraction for the mind. There is no right or wrong to this practice as long as it works for you. It may take a few attempts to find a technique that is effective for you, however don’t let that set you back. Once you find what works for you, use this as your go-to technique.
Examples of Grounding Techniques:
- Touch objects around you, and describe them (texture, color). For example, “I’m sitting on a yellow chair, and the fabric is rough; it’s itching my leg. The carpet is beige, and there is a brown stain in the corner.”
- Run water over your hands, and describe how it feels.
- Say the alphabet backwards.
- Smell an orange or piece of fruit. Focus on the smell.
Perhaps you have been using a similar technique but didn’t know the psychological implication or terminology. What do you do to keep grounded?
Looking Back to Move Forward
Subtle hints of fall have spread throughout the northeast – the falling leaves, cooler nights, pumpkins, and mums popping up in local stores. While summer is slowly on its way out, it is bitter sweet to reminisce about the times had. This summer we talked about ways to beat the heat, many of which involved remaining indoors, or doing activities in cool public places. Regardless of where you made your memories, it is important to keep those happy memories alive and present to take with you into the fall.
Journaling about an event or encounter that makes you smile will bring you back to that moment and hopefully increase your mood. You can look back at those journal entries and remember the good times that were had. Also having pictures or souvenirs from a trip or event can help to bring you back to that moment. Try taking a moment to close your eyes and remember how you felt at that time.
When times are hard or you are having difficult feelings about a situation, take a moment to re-focus your thoughts on one of those happier moments. Re-focusing your thoughts can help momentarily take your mind off of a certain problem or situation and better prepare you for dealing with the task at hand.
When looking back on those happy moments, focus on the feelings or emotions that were created in you at that time. Allow yourself to re-live that moment and take a deep breath.
What moments do you carry with you? How do they help you in times of stress?
Getting Graphic When You Have Multiple Sclerosis
Sometimes when you try to communicate with others, your point may be misconstrued, or something may be lost in translation, or you feel that no matter what you are saying the other person just doesn’t “get it.”
In my role here at MSAA, I have heard from many people who are frustrated or disappointed that someone close to them, be it a family member, a friend, or even a close co-worker (someone who they know cares about them), just doesn’t “get” MS. They may not understand the daily or even hourly ups and downs of MS, or the invisible or hidden symptoms you are trying your utmost to manage, or maybe it’s just an expectation that everything should be the same as before your diagnosis, when for you it feels like the whole world has shifted.
No one wants to feel that our friends, family, and supporters are clueless, unhelpful, or uncaring…after all you KNOW they care about you, and that’s why you include them and want them to be a part of your life, and that’s why it feels so wrong when you can’t express your needs or they don’t seem to “get” what it is you are dealing with, or struggling with, or needing.
When words aren’t enough, get graphic…and not in the style of an R-rated movie, but instead embracing that sometimes a photograph, picture, or artwork can help support what you are saying. Even a visualization can sometimes be helpful, for example, “Sarah, I know that you are trying to help, but when you say that it makes me feel like you’re asking me to put a bag with a smiley face on my head…can you picture that? ” If you picture it, a person with a smiley face bag is being asked to hide their true emotions, or even if they express those emotions they cannot be seen by others. Sarah may picture that bag the next time she wants you to turn your frown upside down and be more empathetic to your needs.
So, the next time you feel like words are just not enough: snap a photo of how you are feeling, draw a picture of your thoughts, or give a visual depiction of your concerns. You may find that a visual display is sometimes the bridge that is needed to help your support person really “get it.”
The Other Part of Wellness: Emotional Awareness
Throughout the month of January, we have discussed our personal journeys in wellness, but one piece has been missing. Often when we describe wellness, we think of physical activity and healthy eating. But one important piece that hasn’t been discussed is emotional wellness. Emotional wellness is defined as “being attentive to your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, whether positive or negative” (University of California- Riverside).
In the daily hustle and bustle which is our lives, we forget to think about our feelings and often brush them off or push them away so that we can deal with another task we have been given. The idea behind emotional wellness is to not allow ourselves to push our feelings away.
Becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings can be difficult. One way to start becoming more aware is to journal. For those who have never kept a journal, starting is the hardest
part. In a previous blog, Dear Diary, I discuss some helpful tips to get started.
Perhaps writing about your feelings is not your thing, maybe talking more openly with a friend or family member would be easier. In everyday conversation, try tuning into your feelings and discussing them more openly. Avoid words like “good,” “fine,” or “OK.” These words are often used when asked how we are feeling, but are not “feeling” words. Some more descriptive feeling words can include “relaxed,” “alone,” or “delighted.” These words provide greater meaning to your emotions and will help you to better understand yourself.
In what ways do you maintain your emotional wellness?