Being ‘Emotionally’ Well

Posted on March 22, 2017 by Angel Blair

So, in talking about different aspects of wellness this month I wanted to shine light on one wellness factor that I think is very important, and probably one of the most difficult to measure—emotional wellness. Because the concept of wellness carries with it so many different implications, the emotional piece of it comes loaded with many questions and wonderings in itself. What does it look or feel like to be ‘emotionally’ well?

In a world that’s wracked with chaos and havoc a lot of the time, how many people can say that on a day to day basis that they are emotionally feeling well? Sometimes it’s impossible to keep up this façade, and rightfully so; no matter how much you try to control in your world, life decides to get in the way at times and carry out its own agenda. Obstacles, illness, accidents, frustration, and stress are all elements that can impact one’s emotions and try to change how you react and cope with things. But this is where you get to step in and shake things up; though life does sometimes enjoy giving us a plethora of lemons, we have the choice to make lemonade. It won’t always be easy, and I guarantee there are times that it’ll be even more difficult, but if you consciously choose to stay still with yourself and use the resources you have at hand, you can make the most delicious of lemonade concoctions ever tasted as a result.

One of the main components to emotional wellness is a positive attitude, and I think this is a piece that can be especially hard to maintain at times. But again, while we may not have control over the things that happen to us, we can control how we react to them, and trying to stay positive and optimistic in this may be one of the strongest weapons we have. Being able to seek support from others is another measure of this wellness puzzle piece. Now this can be challenging for many, as asking for help can be misconstrued and thought of negatively at times, but rather than see it in this light, think of it as a strength – reaching out to others in times of need shows that you are aware of and considerate of your needs and what you need to move forward. And if that means it’s a helping hand reaching out to you, then grab hold of it. You know yourself best, so if you find that you don’t have all the pieces to help you feel emotionally well, pin down what you think is missing and allow yourself to look for it.

This is Spring? (When expectations don’t quite match realities)

Posted on April 8, 2016 by Angel Blair

So the spring equinox supposedly arrived for us living in the northern hemisphere on March 20th this year, marking it as the first official day of ‘spring.’ However, for those of us living on the east coast, it hasn’t quite felt like spring this past week. When it comes to weather changes we can usually deal with the clichéd ‘April showers bring May flowers’ notions, and even March’s infamous reputation that it ‘comes in like a lion and out like a lamb,’ because we’re hopeful that the next beloved season is right around the corner. But with temperatures in the 40’s and flurries impeding on morning commutes this past week, it appears that spring has decided to abdicate its duties (at least for the time being). Not quite what we expected so far, right?

Ok, now the weather has been increasingly unpredictable over the years due to a number of factors and elements so it’s not a total surprise that our desired seasons don’t occur quite how we hope. But it further highlights this notion that sometimes what we expect to happen doesn’t quite match reality; and this becomes the continued barrier we encounter and struggle with through all phases of life. We know that life itself and the day to day can be very erratic—with varying degrees of triumphs or defeats, but when additional factors are added to the mix it can be even more challenging to match expectations to reality. No one holds the expectation that they will become ill or be diagnosed with a chronic illness, so again reality doesn’t match up at times.

When expectations aren’t met and life continues to generate its own agenda-not taking into account how you feel about it, this can be extremely frustrating and overwhelming. So when this happens, what can you do? How can adjustments be made or things tweaked so you’re not getting constantly knocked down or totally thrown off course when life throws a wrench in your plan? You can PUSH BACK. Now this can be very much easier said than done sometimes, but how else can you let life know that you’re still very much a part of it even though it may not be what you expected? And this doesn’t have to look a certain way. Each person has their own unique personality and attitudes and the ability to use and embellish character strengths to the exponential degree. You demonstrate resilience and take control over how you react to changes you encounter. You work on showing life how its changes will work around you and your needs, not the other way around.

Again, this is not an easy thing to do. It can be devastating when life doesn’t work out the way we hoped and expected it to. But this is where there can be strength in numbers-where people can reach out to others for support and find hope. Learning what others have done to overcome a situation, where they’ve found their strengths and how they’ve pushed forward can be incredible assets to embrace. Everyone has experienced moments where reality doesn’t happen like we expected, but we find ourselves together in that, and once again surrounded by potential hope.

Making Friends and Finding Support

Posted on May 13, 2015 by Samantha Schech

Making friends as an adult can be a challenge. Often the friends we have as adults are those we have grown up with, either through grade school or college. Sometimes those friendships change and we find ourselves looking for new friends, or friends that share a common interest, skill, or lifestyle.

Individuals diagnosed with MS may be looking to make connections with others that are diagnosed, but have a hard time meeting people face to face. There are several opportunities available to promote friendships and support to those diagnosed and their family members.

Social media can be a great way to get connected, just be comfortable knowing that your diagnosis or personal information can be shared online. Facebook groups allow individuals throughout the world to connect and share information; search in Facebook ‘multiple sclerosis’ and find a number of private or public groups. Online message boards such as MS Connection or MS World can also be an effective way to find individuals who are interested in a certain topic.

If online communication is not your thing, MS Friends, a program organized by the National MS Society connects individuals with MS through a telephone service. You can contact 1-866-673-7436 and speak to an individual with MS. MSAA also offers a Networking program, which can connect individuals through letters or e-mails.

With so many options to get connected, how do you stay in contact with others?

To Know, Or Not To Know?

Posted on March 27, 2015 by Angel Blair

That is the question, at least today as it pertains to learning about the disease of MS. As we close in on a month dedicated to MS awareness, many individuals still do not know much about this rare disease. One challenge lies in the fact that the information available on MS can be very overwhelming at times, especially as the internet alone exudes multiple portals of literature and resources about the disease. This can sometimes have the opposite effect on education; rather than pulling people in to learn more, it actually sometimes intimidates people to the point where they shy away from learning more about it. This is completely understandable – MS can be difficult to understand and grasp, so it’s a process to educate oneself and others about it. So the question is, is it better to know, or not to know?

When MS touches the life of someone you know, love, interact with, or share a history with, it can be hard to comprehend what this disease is that’s affecting that person. If you didn’t have knowledge of what it was before, this may be a whole new learning process for you as well. Being part of someone’s support network keeps you tied into what’s going on in their daily experiences, so knowing what MS is and its process can help keep you informed of what they’re going through, and how you may be able to offer support when needed.

It’s not something that can be learned or taught overnight. It’s a process – and one that doesn’t have to be done alone. Talking about MS with family members, friends, peers and other support resources can aid in the significant education piece that comes with the disease. Learning more about it is the first step in knowing what it is and how you can offer your support. It can start with just an overview of MS information, and lead into further discussions and outreach. It’s also important to know that it’s ok to take your time learning about MS – review the information as you’re comfortable doing so at your own pace, and when you have questions reach out and ask. In the matter of MS, the act of knowing can be more beneficial than not.

Share something new you’ve learned about MS…

National Love Your Pet Day

Posted on February 20, 2015 by Samantha Schech

In honor of National Love Your Pet Day, the “unofficial” national holiday set aside to give extra attention to and pamper your pet that you love every day. This is a good day to focus on the special relationship that you have with your pets.

Having a pet has proven to provide many physical as well as mental benefits. Therapeutically, a pet can lower blood pressure and have a calming effect over an individual, which can lead to diminishing some pain symptoms. Pets also encourage communication (who doesn’t talk to their pet), as well as provide support and comfort.

When feeling anxious or nervous about a new situation, perhaps lean to your pet for support. A pet is a perfect soundboard for thoughts and feelings and even better, they can’t talk back! Maybe there is an uncomfortable topic you wish to discuss with a loved one, try practicing speaking out loud to your pet exactly what you wish to say. The extra practice in expressing your thoughts can provide confidence and re-assurance in the situation.

While your pets can’t role play the situation back with you, having practiced saying a thought or feeling may help alleviate some of the anxiety around the situation. It may also provide you with the opportunity to hear how your words would sound to another person. Have you ever made a comment and then realized ‘that wasn’t what I meant to say.’ Practicing beforehand allows you to make changes to ensure that your message is properly received.

In what ways is your pet a support to you?

Loving Yourself First

Posted on February 16, 2015 by Samantha Schech

What is love? Webster’s dictionary defines love as “a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person”. After a day like Valentine’s Day, it is hard not to question the concept of love. Perhaps you are in a long term relationship, maybe you have yet to find love, or have just ended a relationship. By definition, love doesn’t solely rely on a relation with another person, it can define the feeling you have for yourself as well.

Truly loving yourself and having the respect for the person that you have become can be a challenge for some. Uncontrollable events occur in life that may change the way that one perceives themselves. Perhaps there are goals or outcomes that seem unmet, or feelings that are unresolved. Coming to a place of understanding and acceptance of the uncontrollable events and embracing the change they may have created is the first step in loving who you are as a person.

By accepting the changes that have occurred, you allow yourself to move forward without any self-doubts or negative thoughts. But this too is a process. One does not wake up one morning and choose to accept the many years of life’s up and downs. Daily affirmations or positive thoughts about your self can be an effective way to practice self-love and acceptance. You can create your own, or utilize one of the many that can be found in books or online.

The Law of Attraction states, “like attracts like”, meaning, what you put out into the world, is what you attract. If you feel positively about yourself and love yourself, you will attract that same level of positive energy in another. When you don’t like yourself, or don’t feel yourself worthy of love, it can be difficult for someone to find that in you as well.

The change to a place of self-acceptance and love cannot occur overnight. If you feel as though you need additional support or help in removing the self-doubts or negative thoughts, a counselor may be able to assist in getting to the root of those feelings. Everyone has a right to be accepted and loved, personally and by others. If possible, seek help from a support group or counselor. It is never too late to make a change.

“The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt” –Max Lerner

References:
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/love

Communication is a Two-way Street

Posted on February 9, 2015 by MSAA

Sometimes you may feel like you are talking at someone. As if the things you are saying hit an invisible force field and bounce back toward you with no impact on the person you are speaking to. When this happens it can cause feelings of frustration.

You may think: Are they even listening? Do they care? How do I make them hear what I am really saying (and not just what they want to hear)?

Communication can be difficult when the person you need support from is on a different page. You may feel they are unresponsive, unrealistic, or uncaring. The other person may be thinking about something totally different, they may be unmoved by your appeals, think you are incorrect in your logic, or something else entirely.

You can only do your best to communicate your needs and sometimes you may not get those needs met. Why, because communication is a two-way street. Talking at someone rarely effects change. To make a difference it often requires both sides to give a little and meet somewhere in the middle or for one person to make concessions to another.

When no one gives a little, situations can explode. For example: “I need help with the laundry, it’s getting too difficult to carry it up and down the stairs” over time can turn into “You didn’t change the laundry again. Do you even care about my fatigue and how that makes me feel?”

Or “Doctor xyz about that medicine makes me really uncomfortable.” Response: “You will take the medication prescribed, I’m the expert here.”

If both sides can collaborate and agree to a plan of action it may result in a better outcome. “Let’s make a plan for you to help me with the laundry every Monday so we can all have clean clothes for the week.” “Okay, but if I forget please just remind me when you want it done before getting upset.”

Or “If that doesn’t work then let’s talk about what other options for treatment we have available and try to select something we can both agree on.” Creating a clear plan of action can remove frustration and set realistic expectations for each party.

If ultimately, the other person refuses to listen or budge on an issue you may have to try and get your needs met in other ways. “My mom agreed to come over to help wash the clothes” or “I’m finding a new doctor.” As you can see in some circumstances seeking other support can help to resolve the issue but sometimes at a steep cost.
If you run into a situation where someone will not meet you in the middle you will need to review the pros and cons of your alternative options and remember that communication is a two-way street.

Some Extra Holiday Help

Posted on November 12, 2014 by Angel Blair

There is no doubt that the holidays are rapidly approaching these days, especially with cooler temps across the country and decorations filling the stores as continuous reminders. While this time of year translates into joy and cheer for most, for some individuals this may represent a time when some extra help is needed to make the holiday special. Financial difficulties can make expectations of the holidays a struggle, but it’s important to know that there are resources available that may help support your holiday activities, and therefore lift some of the stress that can accompany these festivities. The following community resources may offer help through the holidays:

Salvation Army offices offer seasonal services and holiday assistance programs to help families in need with holiday dinners, toys, and clothing. Search for your local office to inquire about direct programs and services and application time frames.
The United Way can offer information and referrals for holiday assistance programs in your community.
Contact the county department of family/social services in your area, as their office may have additional holiday assistance and resources available.
The Toys for Tots Program provides new, unwrapped toys during the holidays to children in need through community outreach and support efforts.
Local religious organizations may offer seasonal assistance as well, though these programs can vary based on location. Contact the groups directly to inquire of services available.

Many community assistance programs have specific application deadlines and requirements in order to receive holiday assistance by a certain time. Be sure to reach out to the resources to see what’s available in your area and how to apply. Some extra holiday help can go a long way!

Adjusting to Change

Posted on October 6, 2014 by Angel Blair

Change is something that continually occurs throughout life for all people and to different degrees. Change may have very mild, subtle effects, or very significant effects depending on what’s being altered. Sometimes change can be a good thing, and sometimes not. One of the most difficult concepts to accept about change is that at times you have no control over it. In our individualized society we try to live by the mantra that we control our lives and what happens to us day-by-day, but this is not always the case. Sometimes the unexpected arises and we play no part in its occurrence. An unexpected illness, a loss, or other unforeseen situations are some of the incidences that can transpire due to no control of our own. When the unexpected occurs, what can you do to help adjust and cope with this new-found circumstance, that wasn’t necessarily welcome or planned for?

Talk to others about the changes that have occurred. Communicating to trusted loved ones, friends or your healthcare team can help you explore ways to adjust by receiving outside perspectives.
Reflect on what the change has affected. By recognizing what’s different you can make your own adjustments that will work for you in your day to day.
Explore your support resources. If change has had emotional, physical, or social impacts for you, it’s important to know who you can reach out to for help.
Bring focus to things that you enjoy and that you can control in your day-to-day. Make decisions that help to ensure that changes are modified to fit your needs.

Change can take some getting used to, especially if it’s something unpredictable. Though some things are uncontrollable and unforeseen at times, individuals do hold influence over the way they can approach change and react to it. It’s how you make the change work for you that’s significant.

Getting Help at Home When You Have MS

Posted on August 18, 2014 by Angel Blair

With years of increasing research and data on the condition of multiple sclerosis, it’s known that MS can be unpredictable and ever-changing in its course, potentially having an impact on different aspects of life for those affected. For some individuals, there may be a time when MS symptoms create change that requires additional assistance in the home, to try to help manage daily activities and duties of the household. Meal preparation, shopping, personal care, and chore responsibilities are some things that may require extra help and attention to complete. Asking for this help can be difficult for some; noticing that how things were done before may look different now and that more help is needed for certain tasks can be hard to accept. Change can be challenging, but it’s important to know that you are not alone in this, that at one time or another everyone’s asked for help, no matter the task. Figuring out what your needs are in the home and where to find help are important parts in starting this process.

Examining what it is that you need help with in the home is a good first step in trying to find assistance. Talking with healthcare professionals like your doctor and possibly a physical or occupational therapist can help determine what your needs are in the home pertaining to your medical condition. Family, friends, or significant others can assist you with this process as well, providing feedback as to what may be helpful and needed to complete certain tasks and duties in the household. Whether it is personal care attendance services or assistive equipment devices, there are a range of services that may be beneficial to you. After your needs have been assessed within the home, supportive resources and contacts can be made to identify potential sources of this assistance.

If you have health insurance coverage, a contact can be made to your insurance provider to identify potential equipment items or in-home health care services that may be a part of your coverage plan. Your insurance provider would be able to explain what services, if any, are offered within your particular health plan. In regards to possible community supports, there are homecare resources and service programs offered through county offices in the U.S. called area agencies on aging. These county offices provide information and referral services regarding community homecare assistance to those with disabilities and older individuals. They maintain a database of information for home health services in the area, as well as caregiver resources and support services.

For individuals whose needs may not currently be at the level of requiring additional assistance in the home, it may be beneficial to explore long-term care options to have a plan in place for potential future needs. Researching long-term care insurance coverage options and other benefits can be useful to attain additional information for homecare services. The non-profit organization Life Happens provides education concerning long- term care insurance benefits and ways to find coverage.

If you do find you need additional assistance in the home, it may be helpful to have a discussion with your doctor first in regards to what your needs are, as this can lead to identifying sources of support within the community.

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