This is Spring? (When expectations don’t quite match realities)

So the spring equinox supposedly arrived for us living in the northern hemisphere on March 20th this year, marking it as the first official day of ‘spring.’ However, for those of us living on the east coast, it hasn’t quite felt like spring this past week. When it comes to weather changes we can usually deal with the clichéd ‘April showers bring May flowers’ notions, and even March’s infamous reputation that it ‘comes in like a lion and out like a lamb,’ because we’re hopeful that the next beloved season is right around the corner.  But with temperatures in the 40’s and flurries impeding on morning commutes this past week, it appears that spring has decided to abdicate its duties (at least for the time being). Not quite what we expected so far, right?

Ok, now the weather has been increasingly unpredictable over the years due to a number of factors and elements so it’s not a total surprise that our desired seasons don’t occur quite how we hope. But it further highlights this notion that sometimes what we expect to happen doesn’t quite match reality; and this becomes the continued barrier we encounter and struggle with through all phases of life. We know that life itself and the day to day can be very erratic—with varying degrees of triumphs or defeats, but when additional factors are added to the mix it can be even more challenging to match expectations to reality. No one holds the expectation that they will become ill or be diagnosed with a chronic illness, so again reality doesn’t match up at times.

When expectations aren’t met and life continues to generate its own agenda-not taking into account how you feel about it, this can be extremely frustrating and overwhelming. So when this happens, what can you do? How can adjustments be made or things tweaked so you’re not getting constantly knocked down or totally thrown off course when life throws a wrench in your plan? You can PUSH BACK. Now this can be very much easier said than done sometimes, but how else can you let life know that you’re still very much a part of it even though it may not be what you expected? And this doesn’t have to look a certain way. Each person has their own unique personality and attitudes and the ability to use and embellish character strengths to the exponential degree. You demonstrate resilience and take control over how you react to changes you encounter. You work on showing life how its changes will work around you and your needs, not the other way around.

Again, this is not an easy thing to do. It can be devastating when life doesn’t work out the way we hoped and expected it to. But this is where there can be strength in numbers-where people can reach out to others for support and find hope. Learning what others have done to overcome a situation, where they’ve found their strengths and how they’ve pushed forward can be incredible assets to embrace. Everyone has experienced moments where reality doesn’t happen like we expected, but we find ourselves together in that, and once again surrounded by potential hope.

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All I Really Need to Know I Learned In…..

So this week marked the time for many students across the country to head back into the classroom to begin a new school year. School supplies being emptied on store shelves, heavier morning traffic caused by school zones and bus stops, and the sun rising a little differently in the mornings all represent this significant time of year. It makes me think of the book by Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.

The book highlights some very important and notable lessons we need throughout life that were actually taught to us in our earliest phase of education. It may not have seemed like it at the time, as we were having snack, playing with classmates and enjoying circle time, but values were being engrained in us that we would use for years to come. Remembering to share, to say you’re sorry if you hurt someone, and to be aware of the world around us were just some of the imperative teachings we learned amidst play time. It got me thinking though, what other times throughout life are we taught these and other significant lessons? The answer: every day.

It’s true. We learn important life lessons every day, for those younger and older, in school or not, there are constant teachings around us every day that continue to instill life’s lessons and morals in us. We hear about other people’s experiences and we look at them as examples, to model or not. We see good and bad and find our place in where we wish to be amidst the chaos. We strive to continue learning and to be vulnerable to new experiences and feelings. We try to remind ourselves of who we are and what we learned years ago and how it can still have meaning now.

People show interest in the world around them every day, even if it’s just by watching the news—again, to be aware of what’s out there and what’s bigger and different. So while many of life’s important lessons were learned as tots on those first days in the classroom, life itself continues to be the classroom; with continuous trainings and encouragement all around.

What lessons have you continued to learn about or have tried to teach others?

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Who’s in your circle?

After attending a retreat this week for helping professionals, there were a lot of things put into perspective for me. One being that we all need to make time for is self-care in our routines, to maintain a balance between things we must do and things we should be doing for ourselves on a daily basis. But another poignant moment at the retreat posed the question: “Who do you want to bring into your circle?” The circle symbolizes your safe space, the area you’re surrounded by that accompanies you through your day to day. It represents your thoughts and hopes and also your vulnerabilities. So the question that was posed of whom you’d want to enter this space with you or who you’ve already accepted into this space was profound. It’s not often that we are able to take the time to consciously think of those we’re surrounded by and why it is we’ve chosen them to be a part of our lives. Being able to reflect on this was moving.

We go through life at times with certain blinders on. We rush through daily activities and sometimes forget that we’re part of a bigger world, full of other people experiencing similar types of thoughts and feelings, though each unique and different in their own way. Our circles intersect with others, and though we may not realize it, some of us have already chosen whom or what we’d like as part of our circle. They are the family and friends we surround ourselves with, those we let in when we need to connect and feel validated. They are the places we like to visit, the things we enjoy doing most. It can really be anything or anyone; it’s up to you who enters the circle, because after all, it is yours.

Who’s in your circle?

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