Balance and Moderation

By Lauren Kovacs

This is a Grinch every MS person faces this time of year. Even those who chose not to celebrate will be affected in some way. Even if you don’t bring that creepy “Elf of the Shelf” into your home, the season seeps into your life. Like glitter, it sticks to everything.

I have had to hand the holiday reins over to my family for most things Christmas. I did what I could. Each year, I find something else I cannot do. I am thankful my husband was always the cook and party planner guy.

I gave up helping decorate the tree or the house. I direct most of that now and point. Taking it down last year was very hard, especially telling the boys to wrap up certain ornaments for proper storage. (PS even fake candles melt in the attic no matter how well you store them.)

I do all my shopping online. I order online and if it arrives early and unwrapped, so be it. I let people know something is coming and to bag or wrap it. I can only do so much. The old saying, “it’s the thought.”

I keep a list of people and record what I bought and how much I spent. I can’t remember everything. I can budget and keep track of gifts all together on one list. I have a very big family. I can’t hang an ornament, but I can do the shopping part. That is huge.

Gift buying, angel trees, charity and such require a lot of planning. It can be a lot of work.  Most MS folks are great at planning. Embrace what you are good at.

Not being able to stand up might make you able to decorate the tree on the bottom half. Just be sure there are no glass items down there. Maybe you can still make fabulous wreaths. Maybe give those as gifts. Take a talent and latch on. Even small tasks can bring you joy during the holidays. Embrace whatever you can. Cookie taste tester is important.

Rest/nap and keep your schedule, too. It can be tempting to skip that nap or stay late at a party. Spiced eggnog is delicious, but is it worth it? Trying to walk like The Nutcracker might not be fun. Pick your battles.

We all have to live and be merry, however. Moderation is key here! Those of us that don’t eat gluten have to weigh the consequences of eating that one cookie. Is it really gonna kill you to have one cookie in celebration? One, not three or ten. I have been known as a cookie monster. I get it.

If I have been good about not eating gluten all week and I attend a party with cookies, yes, I will skip the seaweed smoothie and eat the cookie instead. Come on, live a little. I want to enjoy the holidays and if eating one piece of fudge is more fun than liver and onions, bring on the fudge, but self-control is also key.

MS folks have to balance a great deal at the holidays. Don’t deny yourself a small treat. Think of it as a “to me from me.” Our battle is long and small prizes now and then are ok.  Don’t be a glutton, but one small candy cane is not going to break the MS bank.

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I Better Do It Now Before I Can’t—Community Thoughts!

Recently, one of our community experts wrote an article about the struggle to find a balance between taking advantage of fleeting, “good” days with MS, and potentially overworking your body to the point of putting yourself out of commission even longer.  We received an outpouring of responses from you in the community, ranging from “OMG! Me too!” to personal stories of finding your own balancing point.  Here are some the things our community had to say:

Feeling the Pressure of the Balancing Act

“Oh boy this is the story of my life!! I get that one morning that I feel good (not great) and I am on a mission. By the afternoon, I am starting to pay for it. Factor in the heat or cold, then it is a whole new story!”

“I do the same darn thing…will I ever learn? Those few and far between good days are so great and we can’t help but to take advantage of them. It’s like drinking too much and being surprised we have a hangover. But jeez, we pay for doing something not that fun, like vacuuming!”

“I have a ridiculously difficult time with my “time-to-stop” meter; I seem to operate in an all or nothing mode…if I can remember what “all” entailed in the first place!”

“Perfect timing for me to read this, “so true to my life” article. I’m having one of my “good” days and trying to accomplish as much as I can while I can. Funny how our minds can whirl with so much activity, but our bodies don’t cooperate”

Trying to Take Things in Moderation

“This describes me for sure. I feel so good about myself on those “good” days because I get so much done, but as we well know, another “good” day is always followed by “bad” days. So if things get done, fine. If they don’t get done, well that is fine too. This is one of those things you just have to accept when living with MS”

“I’ve had to train myself to “make hay while the sun shines” and (try) to accept that sometimes good enough is…good enough. I still struggle with overextending myself though”

“This is so true. You feel good and get started with one thing that turns into more as you go and always over do it. I want to do things like I used too, then the monster inside me kicks my butt down for days! We all do what we can on our good days”

“Depends on what I do—but one strenuous day I am out of commission at least the next day. Try to do what I can and after more than 20+ years with this beast, I have finally learned to listen to my body and stop most times when it gets to be too much”

Managing the Unpredictability of Life with MS

“Hardest thing for me is to figure out exactly how much I can do each day and not lose my tomorrow. One day I can accomplish a lot, but another day those tasks will put me down for a day or two. Thankful for my good days, but I HATE the inconsistencies of MS”

“I get so happy and excited when I feel quasi-normal. I try and do as much as I can. I do this constantly, then end up unable to move for a couple of days. Just when I feel I am understanding a rhythm to this truly wacky disease, it throws me for a loop. The learning curve is a slippery slope”

We were so overwhelmed by your great responses, and it’s clear that you are not alone in your battle to manage taking advantage of rare good days, while still taking care of yourself to prevent further setbacks.  Let us know how you manage this balance, or tell us about any of your experiences!

 

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