The 6 C’s of Mental Toughness and Resilience

By Dr. Eva Jackson

One of the most meaningful quotes I have read this year is, “Nothing amazing happens inside our comfort zone.” When you first hear that tests confirm a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis, your reaction may be shock, confusion, or disbelief. These are normal responses to news that can change the course of your life.

Over the past few years, I have spoken with many other MS warriors about the day they were diagnosed. Those diagnosed early often describe the experience differently from those diagnosed in later stages. I am among those who received a late diagnosis. Looking back, I realize my emotions followed a pattern similar to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s 1969 theory, the “Five Stages of Grief.” While the experience of living with MS is distinct, it often echoes a comparable emotional journey. I describe that journey as the 6 C’s of Mental Toughness and Resilience.

The 6 C’s are Coping, Courage, Care, Connection, Community, and Compassion. Here is a brief look at each stage.

The Stages of Mental Toughness and Resilience

Coping – This stage often carries you through the emotions commonly associated with grief, from denial and anger to eventual acceptance. For some, this process may be brief; for others, it may take much longer. I spent much of this stage feeling angry after investing significant time, money, and energy searching for answers. Even so, I remain grateful for the care team that helped guide me through the process and supported me along the way.

Courage – For many people, asking for help requires real courage. Using an assistive device or relying on others for support can also be difficult steps to take. Courage means weighing the risks and choosing what best protects your health and safety. As difficult as it may feel, using a walker, cane, or scooter can be a powerful act of strength rather than a sign of weakness.

Care – MS requires ongoing care and consistent attention. Keeping a health journal can help you prepare for appointments and communicate more effectively with your care team. Because many people with MS experience cognitive and memory challenges, having written notes can be especially valuable.

Connection – Connection reflects the relationships you maintain with family and friends. Strong, genuine bonds can make a meaningful difference throughout this journey. Support from the people closest to you can provide both stability and encouragement when you need it most.

Community – If you have not joined a support group, I strongly encourage you to consider it. Your MS community can offer meaningful relationships, practical resources, and a sense of belonging. No one should have to navigate this journey alone.

Compassion – The final stage of mental toughness and resilience is developing the compassion, knowledge, and clarity to support someone else living with MS. At this stage, your experience can become a source of strength and encouragement for others.

As an MS warrior, I hope everyone can move through these stages of mental toughness and resilience with strength, confidence, and hope.

About Dr. Eva Jackon:

Hello. My name is Dr. Eva Jackson, and I am currently a guest blogger for MSAA. I completed a Doctorate in Management, Organizational Development and Change at Colorado Technical University in Denver, Colorado. My academic background also includes a Master of Science in Leadership and a Bachelor of Art in Social Services from Belhaven College in Jackson, Mississippi. I have previously co-owned an event planning, catering, and decorating business called NikLiz Designs with my husband of 31 years Tim Jackson. After being diagnosed with MS, my career path changed, but I continue to provide management consulting services. In addition, I participate in crafting activities and volunteer as a Peer Connections Leader and an MS activist for the National MS Society.

Resiliency is a Powerful Tool

No secret here-life can be very unpredictable a lot of the time. It can be messy and chaotic and ever-changing. But even after a year filled with such challenge and turmoil as 2020, it’s incredible to see how resilient people are and can be. Yes, life and the changes experienced can have its ripple effects. Impacting not only physical health, but mental and emotional health as well. But it’s how people adapt and overcome these hurdles that helps foster improved wellness of the entire body.

Resiliency, among other aspects, can be an extremely powerful tool when it comes to mental health care and wellness. Learning to adapt to difficult situations and continuing to strive forward despite them helps build resilience. And the great news is-this is a skill that can be learned and taught. Whether it’s teaching yourself the skillset or working with a professional for guidance, building resilience is an important key to overall wellness.

There are different components used to help nurture resiliency, with two crucial ones being self-compassion and self-care. Being kind to ourselves and our bodies is so important for both mental and physical health. This helps to decrease issues with anxiety, stress, and depression. Practicing mindfulness, surrounding yourself with others who support you, and taking care of yourself physically are all key parts to resilience skill-building.

I think many of us would agree that taking time for ourselves and thinking about our own health and well-being usually falls towards the bottom of our daily agendas. This is something that we can all start to do better with. Because taking care of ourselves helps validate that we can take care of others around us too.

That Tuesday Morning…

“I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection.” –Thomas Paine

There are more lines to this quote, but this first part has always stuck out to me. It struck me the first time I heard it studying Thomas Paine in school and it’s come back to me many times since. It’s simple, directive, yet weighty in connotation – I love it for that.

Every September 11th two thoughts run through my head as I start my day. I think about my childhood friend and her stepdad who lost their mother and wife in the Pentagon. Simultaneously, in that moment of grief for them and others I’m incredibly thankful that my own dad, who was at work that morning like always in the Pentagon, made it home. Today is one of those days that we all share and don’t share at the same exact time. As a country, we watched together as the day turned from a sunny Tuesday morning to a confusing Tuesday afternoon to a devastating Tuesday night. But every person will tell you an individual story of where they were and what their experience was. It’s one of those days that’s burned into our collective memories for better or worse, and if we close our eyes we can recall more details from that one day than almost any other.

For me Tuesday September 11th, 2001 was a slow motion day of disbelief in a school only about a half hour outside of DC in a Virginia town heavily populated by military families, many of whom work in the 5 sided polygon, as teachers tried and failed desperately to keep students sheltered and calm. It’s almost strange not to think back to where I was today 16 years ago when the speakers in my Algebra class cracked to life. The shaky voice of the principal came over the intercom and the school went totally silent, as if all the air had been sucked out of the building. I can still feel what it was like wandering down halls wanting to reach out to home but terrified of even picking up a phone. Seeing tears around every corner as students sat on the floor in groups or hovered in corners holding themselves to keep from breaking and leaned against lockers unable to think of what to do next.

I can close my eyes and feel myself being hugged by people who were strangers an hour before, hugged just because they knew where my dad worked. What it was like finally running home from the bus much later than normal as the stars came out and not realizing how long I’d been holding my breath till I saw my dad sitting distraught and looking lost on the couch through our open front door. Sitting with my friend in her room on the edge of her bed hugging and silently crying just a few miles from where rescue crews were working. Sitting with her on the floor of their living room as we all waited for the list of names while our parents sat silent listening to news correspondents try to formulate coherent sentiments.

I know what day it is before my alarm goes off and I even hear the news click on. Before I start my NY Times app or open my social media feed. I know what day it is because there’s a pull to it, a weight to the hours that other days don’t have. I know what day it is regardless of what day of the week it falls on because of what it means to me, to my neighbors and friends. What it means to the families of men, women and children who lost their lives and everyone who carries their memories. What it means to the service personnel who have given their lives to protect our country and those who reenlist for another tour to continue that work.

For myself, and I know so many others, today is about reflection. It’s about taking time to honor and love and gather strength, and not necessarily about never forgetting the events that happened, the events that it set in motion, or the loved ones we lost, but about remembering that the people we are given and the time that we have, however long it shall be, should mean something. About seeking out the reasons to smile in the face of troubles and allowing ourselves to grow braver and more resilient after we reflect on where we’ve been and all that’s happened. I’m reminded of that and challenged to be sure to take all that I’ve been given and make it mean something, to make it count… Let it remind you today to make yours count too.