What is it that stops us?

So I don’t think I’m alone when I say it scares me to try new things. The idea of doing something novel and different is terrifying sometimes and causes all sorts of wonky feelings. I know it’s important to try to experience new things and to step outside of your comfort zone once in a while, but this often elicits feelings of anxiety and stress, so why is that? What is it that stops us from trying new things and reaching beyond what we’re used to doing? It can be a gamut of things, but what is it specifically?

For me I think the main issue is the fear of failure. I’m not too naïve to believe that everything is and has to be done perfectly, but it’s always been an innate expectation for me to do the things that I know well, and to thus shy away from the unknown for fear that it won’t be done right or perfectly. This may be the case for others too; the idea that we won’t succeed at or conquer something, that feelings of inadequacy will abound and really derail us from trying things again. The unknown of new things can be frightening, it’s a normal and reactive response for many to not want to try because we don’t know what’s on the other side. But you also have to think, if no one ever tried anything new, we wouldn’t have all of the wonderful things we have today. Innovations, technology, art, and music were new to its creators and inventors, and without them taking the leaps they had and diving into the unknown, we’d be lost without these treasures.

It’s surely not easy trying new things – nothing ever is that results in success and beauty and grace. But isn’t it worth it, to try that one new thing to quiet expectations and norms? To settle the fears that taint the mind and to make the decision that if you attempt something different and it doesn’t work out, that that’s ok? Fear can be overwhelming and deafening and can interfere with bold choices at times, but it’s our own insecurities that often interfere with achievement. We have to be kind and patient with ourselves long enough to experience the new and see what could have been. So what will you try?

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Hi! It’s nice to meet you. What do you do?

Such a direct question, right out of the gate! And it’s one we encounter often when meeting new people – report your name and occupation for informational purposes, please. Because of the nature of this interaction (which feels very unnatural at times), meeting new people can be intimidating. It can be an awkward situation with pressure to ask or answer certain questions that may be sensitive to you or the other person. It can also be stressful to open yourself up to new people because the outcomes can be uncertain. How will the other person interpret what you said? Will they be accepting of you? And the detailed request to explain what you do rather than who you are can feel uncomfortable too, especially for those who may not currently be in the workforce to identify themselves as their work first.

Ok, so new conversations don’t exactly occur like this: “Hi, I’m John. I like traveling, going to the opera, and fishing.” But they don’t necessarily have to evolve into interactions that make you feel like you’re filling out paperwork at the DMV either. There can be a balance, where you can actually learn about the person’s character and their likes before judging them solely by what they do or don’t do for a living. It may not feel like it, but perhaps those who are no longer working are at an advantage at times in this new meeting scenario. This leaves the discussion open to actually discussing matters that are not just work related!

Other topics of conversation can be brought into the encounter and people can learn who the other person is and not just what they do. Maybe this conversation flow can include “tell me something about yourself,” thus creating a whole new direction of discussion between new people.

Even though meeting people can be scary sometimes, it can also open up so many exciting doors for increased interactions and forming relationships with others, which can be of great value!

How do you meet new people?

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Trying Something New

During the holidays I received a gift certificate to try yoga classes at an exercise studio in my area. I was always interested in trying this type of class and this was my opportunity to finally do so. I have to admit that I was a little nervous going to that first class. With feelings similar to the first day of school I didn’t know what to expect – what the teacher would be like, if I would be doing the exercises “right,” and if I wanted to come back. I don’t think I was alone in these feelings as I’m sure others have similar thoughts when trying something new for the first time, but I was worried about how it would affect my performance. I didn’t want to be the odd man out and have it be completely transparent that I had no idea what I was doing.

To my surprise, on the first day of class I wasn’t the only new student! I was relieved to see that there were several other new students joining the class and trying this yoga for the first time! This gave me comfort knowing that I at least wouldn’t be the only new face in the crowd of others more experienced and that perhaps these other folks shared in my own initial fears about trying something new.

The class turned out to be great – the teacher was encouraging and the exercises were dynamic and fun. It was a challenge on the mind and body in an uplifting and positive way, and something I felt so proud of myself for trying. I have continued attending the class and look forward to it each time I attend.

No matter the task, exercise, venture or opportunity that comes your way, the point is that you’re not alone in the initial fears or concerns or questions that you have about it. At some point everyone encounters something new, so it comes down to the question of if and how you’ll approach it, and if this something new has potential benefits for you. You won’t know until you try it, right?

What new venture will you try?

*Please remember to consult with your physician before starting a new exercise routine

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