Most invitations sound great when they come, but for many with MS, it’s simply impossible to predict the way one might feel the day of the event. Symptoms can change, flare-ups can occur, and/or exhausting fatigue might set in. The desire to go may still strongly be there, but the physical strength and wellbeing are not. A response of “maybe I’ll be there” is often necessary for those living with MS, and sometimes, it’s the Continue reading
By Susan Russo
Every year on January 1st, the first thought to pop into my head is “OK, it’s a new beginning, what do I want to do going forward?”
And every January 1st, I say “Well, absolutely nothing comes to mind.” Except coffee. I need coffee. And eggs and some bacon. So I climb out of bed and meander my way into the kitchen, all the while telling my son “Happy New Year Chris! We made it through another Holiday Season, still intact and none worse for wear.” Still not married, still alone, and still no grand babies for me to raise. Chris just grunts in unison, rolls back over in his bed and drifts back into his safe place. What that is, I don’t dare ask. All I hear is a muffled, low grade growl of “just stop it mom, pleeeeeeaaase!”
As I take my cozy seat at the breakfast table with my favorite blanket, (and, yes, it does get cold enough in winter to use a blanket in Houston) I begin to reminisce on the past few years. “How is my MS doing?” I ask. It answers back with a flush of burning, tingling, a bit of numbness, and a side order of vertigo, reminding me, “Hey girl, I’m still here. Did you forget about me?” And I’m like, “geez, sorry I asked.”
No. I have not forgotten. It’s just in the midst of all my goal setting, you simply slipped my mind.
And that’s just it. The thing about setting goals for the new year…it really is so important. Resolutions allow me to forget about multiple sclerosis, even for just a moment. Thinking of my dreams and aspirations brings me to a happy place. And by the time I finished my toast with jelly, I have a list of a thousand things I want to accomplish. We all know that feeling of elation. Yes, I can learn to swim so my MS will stop burning me, as I splash around in the pool like a halibut. Yes, I will become a world famous artist, move to the Fiji Islands, employ a cabana boy, drink ice tea, and paint until my heart’s content. And eat tons of potato chips. I love potato chips. And maybe have a glass of champagne. Just because I can.
Then, Boom! Reality comes knocking on the door. “You can’t ignore me forever! Let me in or else!” I sigh and take a gulp of my coffee, politely expressing to my reality to “go away, I still have bacon to eat.”
The thing about reality…it’s real and it’s relentless, and it never goes away. So, begrudgingly, I focus. One step at a time. One day at a time. One goal at a time.
My point is this. It’s imperative to set goals, especially when we are in a battle with MS or other dreadful diseases. Unfortunately, they are a part of our lives. We cannot ignore them. So, include them in your dreams and aspirations. Keep it simple. Don’t set goals you know in your heart you won’t keep. Be kind to yourself. Reward yourself. Go see that movie that you’ve been wanting to see.
Remember this. No matter how crazy the world gets, if you have just one goal that gives you a sense of accomplishment, set it and follow through. When you succeed, pat yourself on the back. Smile. You did it. Then set another. And another. Pretty soon, you will find that resolutions can be made and effortlessly (well, you may have to exert some effort) accomplished, not just on the very first day of a new year, but anytime you wish.
The choice is yours. And know this, if you falter with your attempts to better yourself and the world around you, do not dismay. Time keeps coming. Days keep flying by. And January 1st will still be the 1st day of the new year. Always.
Time for resolutions and dreams, with an entree of bacon, eggs, coffee, and more bacon. And perhaps a little grand baby to cuddle.
Heck, I’d settle for the corgi puppy! I’ll name her Isabella.
There is a lot about MS that is difficult for “healthy” people to understand, and one of the most frustrating things is that it can be really difficult to make plans in advance. You just never know how you are going to feel the following day, or even the following hour. One of the amazing contributors at MultipleSclerosis.net, Matt Allen G, wrote a wonderful article about his frustrations with being unable to make plans with friends in advance, and then some people not understanding why those plans may have to change at the last minute. Matt’s words really resonated with our community, and so many other people shared their thoughts and experiences with us. Here’s what our community had to say:
It’s emotionally draining
MS Doesn’t Care
Tips
No one understands
I won’t let MS run my life
What about you? Do you struggle with planning? Do you find that friends and family don’t understand?