Summer Reflection

By: Matt Cavallo

For me, having MS sometimblog pices means more sleep. This is especially the case for me with two young boys, who don’t tend to sleep in and have endless amounts of energy. I find that when the seasons turn to fall and the long sunny days turn to long dark nights, I find myself chronically tired and needing to hibernate. When I feel like I need more sleep, I draw on lessons learned from the summer.

This June, my wife and I decided to drive to take the kids to Legoland in San Diego. San Diego is about a five hour drive from my house, so we loaded up the minivan and hit the road for a three day vacation. Prior to that vacation, I put it in my mind that it was going to be hot and that I was going to be waiting in long lines for the rides, but that I needed to give my kids a vacation to remember.

The first day took a lot out of me. The drive was exhausting. Even though the kids behaved and there was only a little traffic, driving that long can be taxing. However, once we got to the hotel, the kids wanted to play. Even though I was exhausted, we met up with friends and went to the beach. I spent the entire time at the beach playing in the water with the kids. After about twelve hours of going non-stop, we went to the hotel and I crashed.

The next morning came too early, but the kids were up and ready to go. I felt like if I could just get a little more sleep, I would have energy for Lego Land. More sleep was not to be had but we spent an awesome twelve hours running around the amusement park, going on the rides and playing the games. The sun was brutal and beat me down as I waited for ride after ride. By the time we got to bed, I was so exhausted that I didn’t think I could possibly pull it together another day.

The next day came and I needed just a little more sleep, but that was not going to happen. It was day two at Lego Land and the kids were ready. It was a repeat of the first day and the kids were having the time of their lives. We spent another twelve hours roaming the park being roasted in the early summer sun. By the time we got back to the hotel, I thought I was going to pass out from exhaustion, but the kids wanted to swim at the pool. So even though I had expended all my energy at the park, I needed to dig down and find the inspiration for one more hour of activities.

While I was sitting at the pool watching the boys swim, I thought that this is what life was all about. It turned out that I didn’t need more sleep. Sure I was tired and the sun and MS fatigue were wearing on me, but I needed to be there. At this moment, having MS meant time with my sons. So many times, I had let my MS fatigue get the best of me, but I fought through it to create memories that will last a lifetime.

As I look forward to the fall season and the long nights, I think back to that summer vacation. I look back at how I was fatigued and didn’t think I would make it, but created precious memories. For me it is all about getting going, because for me getting started is the hardest part. This fall, I am not going to require more sleep. I am going to spend more time with my sons, because that is what motivates me to keep going. What lessons from summer are you going to use to keep going this fall?

*Matt Cavallo was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2005. Matt is an MS blogger, author, patient advocate, and motivational speaker. Matt also has his Master’s degree in Public Health Administration. Matt is the proud father of his two sons, loving husband to his wife, Jocelyn, and best friend to his dog, Teddy. Originally from the Boston suburbs, Matt currently resides in Arizona with his family. To learn more about Matt, please visit him at : http://mattcavallo.com/blog/

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Parenting with MS

By Matt Cavallo

Watching my oldest son, Mason, turn and walk into Kindergarten for the first time sent a flurry of emotions through my soul. I was feeling both proud and incredibly sad knowing that my baby was now a schoolboy. The sadness came from deep inside remembering back to how hard it was for my wife to conceive due to issues I was having as a result of my Transverse Myelitis and MS.

The pride came from thinking back to a childhood friend. When I was in Kindergarten, I had a friend in my neighborhood named Conner. His mother had Multiple Sclerosis and she was confined to a wheelchair. Even now, I remember Conner’s strength and the sacrifices he made as a five year old to care for his mother.

When I was diagnosed with MS, my biggest fear was that I was not going to be able to be the dad I had always dreamt of being. Deep down, I didn’t want my child to have to care for me in the way that Conner had to care for his mom. Now, eight years after my initial diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis, I proudly walked my Mason to his classroom, hand in hand.

As he let go of my hand and I watched him walk into a new chapter of life, I knew that his understanding of the world was going to grow each and every day. With his new understanding of the world, comes a new fear. How do I explain to him that his daddy is different from the other dads? How do I tell him that I have a neurodegenerative disease and that the big, strong guy he knows might not be that way forever?

As a young dad with a chronic disease, I have been looking for a way to talk to my boys in words they can understand. Especially for Mason who now has more questions than ever before. One of this resources that I have found in my search is, Daddy’s Story: An Introduction for Younger Children to Learn about a Parent’s MS. This is an illustration book for younger children that helps explain MS in words they can understand (don’t Matt and sonworry, moms – there is a Mommy’s Story too). With this resource, I am able to have a conversation with my boys and answer the questions that they have about my condition.

Knowing that there are resources to help me talk to my kids about my MS in a way that they can understand has helped to mitigate my fears and focus on the pride I have in raising two people who are loving and caring individuals.

*Matt Cavallo was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2005. Matt is an MS blogger, author, patient advocate, and motivational speaker. Matt also has his Master’s degree in Public Health Administration. Matt is the proud father of his two sons, loving husband to his wife, Jocelyn, and best friend to his dog, Teddy. Originally from the Boston suburbs, Matt currently resides in Arizona with his family. To learn more about Matt, please visit him at : http://mattcavallo.com/blog/

 

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