Recovering from ‘Overdoing It’

Recently, one of our community experts wrote an article detailing how she recovers after a day of “overdoing it.”  Whether overdoing it means doing too much physical activity, traveling, or just pushing yourself past your limits to take a shower, so many of our community members could relate to this feeling.  Whether this occurs frequently or only occasionally, you are not alone!  So many people responded with what overdoing it means to them, how it frustrates them, and they you recover.  We received so many wonderful comments, we wanted to feature several to share with everyone!

The Overall Frustration of Overdoing It

“For me, overdoing it brings foot drop, a very bad mood, balance issues and trouble getting things into words. Oddly enough, reading books gets hard too……my mind just can’t seem to concentrate”

Overdoing it is rough and what might get you one day, might not be as bad on another day. You never really know until you’ve done it. And dealing with those who have no idea what it’s all about only adds to the problem”

“It stinks when ‘overdoing it’ consists of walking my child to the bus stop so she can get to school, coming home to make myself a bowl of cereal, and going all-out and brushing my teeth immediately after eating!”

Overdoing it can take on many forms and can be caused by completely varying triggers, causing much frustration and agony.

Attempting to Avoid Overdoing It

“I try to pace myself and not schedule too much for one day, but I also want to live as much as I can while I still can.”

“It is important to pace yourself which is why it’s important to put some breaks in between long days. But even doing that I’m still exhausted”

“I’m trying to make sure I eat healthy and pace myself, but it’s really difficult once I try. I’m still looking for a balance between work, classes and personal life”

Even the best laid plans and precautions can still lead to exhaustion later.  If this sounds like you, you are certainly not alone!

What to Do Once Exhaustion Sets In

“For me, the fatigue is the hardest hurdle because you can’t navigate around it. It must be recognized, respected, and my body rested. Always when it’s the last thing I WANT to do. Surrender. But meditation and focusing on releasing that anxiety from being forced to stop is an ongoing practice”

“I’ve been getting OT/PT and they made me keep a log of activity. I can do 1 to 2 activities a day. We practice taking breaks. Breathing between steps. Sitting before it’s too far. Laughing more”

“Try everything you can imagine to pull yourself through this maze. Exercise at home if you can’t get out. Don’t feel bad if you can’t accomplish tasks as you once did”

“Today I went in my room and took a nap. I explained that I had to. When I got up I apologized and told them I really had to take that nap”

“Sleep, shower, sleep, sleep, and sleep!”

Everyone handles their exhaustion after overdoing it differently.  Whether it’s distracting yourself with a good book or movie, getting some exercise, shifting your mindset, or just getting some good, old-fashioned rest, you know best what your body needs!

Let us know how you overcome the exhaustion after overdoing it.  Your advice may help someone else in the community who finds themselves struggling with this experience!

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Wellness Needs a Nap

By Lauren Kovacs

I can’t stress this enough.  Fatigue is a relentless beast. If we want to be as well as we can, sleeping helps.  From marathon naps to a wee kitty snooze, it is a must.  Some days more than one is needed.

Don’t resist the craving to sleep.  Cave in and watch the back of your eyelids. Mid-day naps work for me. Even my dog knows when it is my naptime.   In this sense resistance is not good.  Don’t fight sleep.

I sleep with the phone and I only answer it if it is my kids’ schools.  Most people, with two brain cells to rub together, know I am out of order during naptime.  I have “out of area” numbers blocked by my phone company and if something gets through, I turn it on and off to get it to stop ringing.

Blocking out light and sounds help me too. I have a hard time with glare and sleeping in sunglasses is uncomfortable.  I put something over my eyes. Eyelids are not enough and fabric blocks it out.

A few drops of lavender oil on my sheets can be relaxing.  I also have a hard time clearing my mind.  Boy Scouts, soccer, Taekwondo and many other scenes in life are doing the Tango in my brain all night.  I draw the curtain on that sleep-sucking dance by reading.  A few pages of fiction turn the pages of life.

Listen to your body.  It whispers wellness secrets.  If you are too hot, your body tells you.  If you need to sleep your body will tell you.  LISTEN.  If your body says it needs chocolate…  Listen to it!

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Symptoms that Effect Relationships – The Infestation of Fatigue

By Lauren Kovacs

Relationships can be with your spouse, sibling, friends, parents or any living thing really. Sadly, MS contaminates everyone and every thing. It is ever changing. There is usually one symptom that takes the cake.

For me, the winner is fatigue. I swear a cloud of sleepy juice stalks me. It lurks behind corners and lays on me like a wet blanket. It will mess with every relationship and can smother events.

I often have to skip functions because of fatigue. The way I deal with it does not always jive with a particular gathering. Routines with MS work well, but not every event works around your routine. MS is not always flexible. People are happy to let babies nap; however, full grown adults don’t seem to get that same level of understanding.

I take half my “awake” medicine in the morning, nap, and then take the other half. This usually helps, but caffeine gum and coffee are heavily leaned on too. Not the best options.

My spouse knows my routine. Most people very close to me know it. There are times when my routine can’t be followed. Boy Scouts, soccer games, and Taekwondo sometimes jump in the path of my routine. I bend MS, as much as I can, in those situations.

The biggest effect of this is guilt. I fight guilt over missing the Pinewood Derby because I had to be at Taekwondo in the morning. I have guilt because I had to miss a soccer game because I have to nap. My parents had to go instead. It is a ripple. Asking for help often rolls into guilt.

I have to rest and miss some things and rely on my spouse, parents, or whoever. I deal with this balancing act all the time. I try not to tip the scale. Guilt and pride are always battling.

The guilt of asking for help and the pride of doing it myself tip back and forth constantly. People get mad because you didn’t ask for help, but the guilt of being a burden is often worse.

We carry heavy and complex weights to the scale. You have to try and balance that scale.  Do the best you can. Others often do not see this part of MS. Getting those scales to balance can cause fatigue. Take a deep breath, do what you can, and have some chocolate.

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Has Your MS Caused You to Embrace the Hermit-Life?

“I make plans, I cancel plans, all in the name of MS.”

“Friends just don’t understand, I’d rather just stay home.”  

MS can be overwhelming in so many ways that most others can’t understand or relate to.  Many individuals with MS find it can be exhausting and tiring to get out and socialize.  The constant forgoing of plans, canceling on activities that you may have looked forward to for weeks because of a flare-up, or the feelings of exhaustion and frustration that come along with your daily MS battles may push you more and more towards a hermit-like life. We recently shared an article with our community from our advocate, Laura, called Has MS Made You a Hermit? The response from our community members was amazing. Here are some highlights from what they said.

“I tend to push people away that want to help, forgetting this is new territory for them too.”

“Regarding help and independence, it’s annoying because OFTEN people want to help me when I DON’T want help, and don’t want to help me when I DO want/need help”

It’s challenging going places and dealing with people who insist on “helping”.  Sometimes, when you go out, others feel the need to constantly try and “help”, when, in actuality, you are capable of doing things on your own.  It just may take a bit longer than others, which is totally okay!  However, it can get taxing to continually try to explain this to others.

“I feel this way a lot, but sites like this keep me going and help me realize I’m not alone.”

“Thank you for speaking out with this piece. Once again, so relieved I’m not the only one.”

Social Media can also be emotionally exhausting on anyone, yet even more draining for those with a chronic condition.  It’s tiring for those that are researching facts and cures and deciphering between lies, truths and half truths.  Social Media can trigger many emotions when reading others comments and situations, and can cause a lot of confusion and frustration.  Conversely though, social media sites and communities like ours can often provide a safe social haven where you can get the social exchange you might occasionally want, without having to leave your home or expend a lot of energy!

“For me, it’s been easier to not go out and talk to people. Fatigue, cognitive problems and the fact that I really don’t enjoy social events that I would have had fun at before…”

“Been easier to hang out with my dog since she doesn’t ask questions.”

“I love my friends and family, but fatigue says I love my bed a tad more. And with Netflix, popcorn, and wine, I can’t say it’s not time well spent…”

At times, going out socially can cause apprehension and overwhelming feelings, as some attempt to go out for a fun social evening, yet try so hard to avoid negative conversations and situations.  It really can set you back and take a toll.  Sometimes you may just want a rest from all the exhaustion that these situations bring.  Especially if you feel like just getting through each day is a chore!

It is completely understandable if you just want or need to to stay in and stay to yourself to avoid the grueling challenges out there.  You know the balance you need, and what your body can and can’t handle.  It’s completely okay to say that a hermit’s life is the life for you when you need to!

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The Ponds of Socialization

By Lauren Kovacs

Being with family and relationships are like skating on thin ice. Caution and preparation for these are something we need to do, especially near the stress of the holidays. Using some information can help us skate safely onto the pond of socialization. Having MS requires more of everything.

Like anything, we cannot “wing-it.” We cannot fly by the seat of our pants. The biggest thing to remember is to stay calm. Know your limits. Our speed is slow or “No.”

This is where knowing where the thin spots are will help.  I like to know people’s personalities ahead of time, if I can. Going to family events or parties may take some personality planning. I like to know who respects the limits of my MS. Know your audience, so to speak.

Know the thin spots and stay clear. Know what situations and who is safe. This will reduce stress. Pick events that keep stress and fatigue to a minimum.

Some people you may have to physically stay away from. Other situations or people you may have to emotionally stay away from. MS is tough enough without someone commenting how his or her sister-in-law’s cousin’s friend ate something and is fine.

Attending work related parties is part of PR for my husband’s job. I always use my chair.  It cuts down on fatigue so, I can stay a bit longer.  I am social, but in the evenings I am exhausted and the MS “misbehaves” more. My speech is garbled so, I mostly listen.  Sounding drunk at a work party is not wise. I try and eat before I go too.

Eating is very difficult for me. I can more easily refuse food, if I am not famished too. For me, it makes the gluten gods happy. I can be polite and have one or two bite size hors d’oeuvres. I don’t like to wear food in public so, I stay away from that thin ice.

If you are going to an unfamiliar place, take note of bathroom locations the minute you get there. Wear easy off clothes. When I gotta go, I gotta go now. I find thigh-high tights are easier than regular tights or hose. They are a bit drafty, but it is better than dealing with hose when now means now.

Know your limits. Don’t over party because the recovery time is not worth it. Try to stick to any diet restrictions. I mostly eat gluten free, but I allow a cookie or something. Balance for me is key. With a bit a planning, I can have that delicious gluten filled cupcake and be social. Be mindful of your limits and needs. A straw is a must and I carry an extra one in my purse. Most of all, try to enjoy the season.

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What YOU Wish People Knew About MS-Fatigue

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MS-related fatigue is not “regular” fatigue, but it’s hard to help people who don’t have MS understand what this type of fatigue is really like. We recently shared an article by one of our community experts outlining some things others may not know about having MS-related fatigue.  So many of our community members shared their feelings with us, so we wanted to capture some of their thoughts on what they wish others understood. Here’s what they had to say.

Wishing Others Would Simply Understand

“I know I work, and by the time I get off, my body doesn’t want to move, much less think. I can be somewhere and be just as lost because of the fatigue. I feel your pain that if you don’t have MS you don’t understand”

“Thank you so many times over. I started crying reading this. I have tried so many times to explain the difference between being tired and fatigue, I feel to no avail. My fiancé tries to understand but gets so frustrated with me when all I want to do is sleep”

“I have had this issue since my diagnosis, and like you said, when I say I am tired, people tend to go straight to their own tiredness and talk straight over me if I want to explain”

Cognitive Fog Troubles

“I am one of those who still work, but the stress of the job causes brain fog and cognitive issues and mental exhaustion. It’s not that I can’t do my job, it just takes me longer”

“More and more it’s not just physical fatigue, but a mental fatigue as well. My once very capable brain slows down to a point that the simplest math task or organization plan has to be figured over and over again until I’m annoyed and frustrated with myself”

“Spot on! I often find my brain sending me messages to give up. I can compare it to the feeling of sprinting until you can’t sprint any longer. Your brain tells you to stop, give up. The same is true for me with MS. My brain is telling me to give up”

Frustrations, Life Changes, and Never Giving Up Hope

“I always get the, ‘you’re just getting older.’ Hello!! I’m 34, how’s that old? Isn’t that like the prime of your life? People run marathons well into their 50’s!”

“On day after working, my then 10-year old son asked me to play a board game, I replied, ‘I’m too tired.’ He shot back, ‘mom you’re always too tired.’ That broke my heart”

“I can feel great, go out to dinner, order my food, and by the time it gets served, I’m so fatigued I don’t feel like picking up my fork to eat”

“You have the fatigue, but you still try to do things. It takes twice as long, since you drop things or are off balance. This leads to frustration, then anxiety, and full-blown stress. And your mind keeps playing the tune, ‘I wish I could feel good for just one single day.’ And to top it all off, it’s a beautiful day and you just want to enjoy it. The day in the life of a person living with MS”

“Remember that MS is not what defines us. We can still have a good life if we remain positive and keep trying. We CAN NOT let it get us down. We are all better than that. And for me, I try to remember that I am not in this alone, and sometimes that helps me get through the day… In between naps!”

Thanks to our community for your awesome responses. Keep sharing with us, and with each other, how you handle MS-related fatigue, and what you wish others knew about your struggles!

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Wellness Covers A Wide Field

By Lauren Kovacs

Staying well encompasses physical and mental skills.  Everyone has different needs and tricks.  The key is to find what works for you.  Maybe you choke up on the bat or spit in your glove.

For me, gluten reduction helps me stay ‘well-ish’.  Eliminating it completely caused massive weight loss.  I figured it out when my beloved donuts caused me to be super floppy.  It turns out too much sugar contributed to the wet noodle effect too.

I did therapeutic horseback riding for years.  It improved my gait, when I had one.  After years, I had to give it up.  I was wobbly and I was seriously freaking my Dad out who was my official side-walker.

Turmeric seems to help me be able to walk some. I use a walker in the house to keep my circulation going.  Yoga helps, if you have energy.  I like seated Yoga or I find exercises geared to seniors.  I try to be active while reducing falls by being seated.

I schedule my day of any activity between 9-12. Not ideal, but I am worthless after lunch.  I am in a different body, after lunch.  I take half my “awake” medicine, nap and take the other half to get me through homework time with the kids.  Combating fatigue is like walking a tight rope. One bobble one-way or the other will make you crash.

Be patient with yourself.  We are standing in front of a pitching machine.  It takes a lot of practice and there is a learning curve.  You have to be ready to take a hit too.  Strategy is important.  Sometime you can smack the pitch and others you swing and miss.

Just like selecting your pitches, select how you respond to want MS throws at you.  Days where you strike out miserably are going to happen.  Maybe the pitch hits you and you have a bruise, but you advance to first base.  You now have knowledge about avoiding that situation again.  In my case, I learn to avoid a fall that way again.

Learn to treat yourself.  Cheer yourself on out load.  Positive affirming words to yourself out load can have a big impact.  Just like a cheer squad helps to push a team forward, cheer for team YOU.

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Meet MSAA’s Newest Guest Blogger – Lisa Scroggins

I am Lisa Scroggins, wife, mother, CPA. I was diagnosed in 1991, and my mother had MS. There’s more: two of my five siblings also have MS. So, obviously, I am a person with MS: a patient. I don’t like to be called an MSer. I also resist substituting different words for the letters, M and S, such as “Made Strong:” I like to think of myself as an advocate, and I have written to members of Congress on various issues. I’m currently in the process of trying to correct an inadequate parking situation in my community¹.

If I’m brutally honest with myself, I just don’t like being a disabled person, and I have hope that I can improve. Having officially stopped working because of disability, I am having an identity crisis, as well as an existential one. I know I have pretty severe limitations, which mostly have arisen in the past three to four years. There’s my first clue: it seems as though it’s very recent, but I just typed the truth: my walking ability has worsened over several years, not the one or two that I’ve been telling myself. It has been only a couple of years since I’ve worked, but it’s important to know that I experienced a life-changing series of events which have left me reeling to this day. In other words, it’s complicated.

I’ve had MS for a very long time. I’m lucky, in that for many years, my symptoms were invisible to others. Although they were always in the back of my mind, I had learned to compensate for them.

First example: I’m shopping in a Sam’s Club store. It’s a huge building, and as is typical, I’ve walked around for a while, just browsing for things that I might want to buy, when I realize that fatigue² is kicking in. I’m not prepared to check out, with all that entails: getting my payment and membership cards out, unloading my items to the conveyor belt, putting them back in my cart, storing my cards safely, but keeping my receipt ready to be checked before exiting, trekking to my car, unloading my purchases into my trunk, parking or maybe just abandoning my cart, climbing back into my car where I will rest for a few minutes, while hoping that no one is idling behind me, waiting for my parking spot—oh the pressure! Also, I’m a pretty good distance from the checkout lines, and those lines were fairly long at last glimpse. What to do? I head over to the book section. I park my cart so that hopefully, it won’t impede any other shoppers, grab a few books to peruse, and sit down on the floor to rest and look through the books. Occasionally, I get some questioning looks, but hey, you do what you have to do.

Second example: I have what’s known as a “neurogenic bladder.” Real world translation: I experience urgency, which means I have to pee now! It doesn’t matter when I’ve last relieved myself, or how much my fluid intake has been. (That commercial for an overactive bladder medication is spot-on and even cute! The bladder IS in charge and drags me where it will.) Whenever I enter a building, if I don’t already know where the bathrooms are, I focus on finding their locations. When driving, I have been known to pull over to the side of the Interstate when I couldn’t make it to the nearest restroom. The technique involves putting on my car’s flashers, exiting my car, rapidly walking over to the passenger side, opening both front and rear passenger doors to provide a modicum of privacy, grabbing a fast food napkin or two from the map storage compartment door on the front passenger side for, oh, come on, you know what it’s for (always kept stocked for emergencies such as these!), and doing the squat. There’s just no way to do this in a dignified manner. I always feel guilty for littering. The pre-MS me would never have done such a thing.

The nature of my MS has changed and its effect on me has been nothing short of dramatic. As isolating and terrifying as it is, I know there are thousands of other people going through the same thing. The need to redefine myself in this new state of existence, is a powerful one. In our culture, what we “do” defines us. I’ve been treading water for some time, trying to figure what it is that I “do” now. If it’s true that “necessity is the mother of invention,” I’m looking for some tools. Maybe we can search together.

¹ You may have thought, as I did, that the ADA fixed this stuff, but that is incorrect! An explanation in a future blog post is in the making
² Often cited as the most common and disabling symptom among people with MS.

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Tips For Managing MS Fatigue

Fatigue is one of the many symptoms of multiple sclerosis. It affects the majority of individuals with an MS diagnosis, and can be challenging to manage. According to Can Do MS, there are many helpful and practical things you can do to help boost your energy and improve your daily activities.

Can Do MS sponsored a webinar in October titled, “Tired of Being Tired? Tips, Tools & Techniques to Keep You Going.” This webinar can be watched on the Archived Webinar section of their website.

To summarize, Can Do MS recommends the “4 P’s” as a potential solution for managing fatigue:

  1. Planning:  Consider using a day planner or phone app to help manage what you may have going on. This could help you track doctors’ appointments, medication regiment, meal planning and shopping trips, and ensure you do not try to do too much on any one specific day.
  2. Prioritizing:  If you are feeling tired on a particular day, decide what is important or must get accomplished and what can be put off for another day. Do those things that need to get done and give yourself permission to push the other tasks off for a day when you have more energy.
  3. Pacing:  This strategy will help prevent you from feeling overwhelmed when at work. If you expect a task to take an hour, don’t pressure yourself to get it done in an hour. Instead, give yourself an hour and a half and take a ten minute break for every 20 minutes of work.
  4. Positioning:  This involves rethinking the location of physical things in your life to make your daily activities simpler and more efficient. One example of this would be placing everyday cooking utensils in a convenient, easy to reach place in the kitchen so you do not have to exert yourself every time you reach for them. Making simple adjustments may help you save some energy for use at other times throughout the day.

In addition to managing your fatigue, it might also be a good idea to track your activity to determine what is causing you the most fatigue. This better understanding of your fatigue could help you modify your activities and help you conserve energy throughout the day. MSAA’s free mobile app – My MS Manager, now has a newly added fatigue scale to help you track and measure your fatigue. The app also allows you to connect to physicians and other members of your care team via the app to securely share your progress and reports. Click here to learn more and download the free app.

By following the “4 P’s” and tracking your fatigue, you will hopefully have a better understanding of what activities affect you the most and an easy tool to you manage your daily fatigue better.

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Wellness: The Importance of the Mind

By: Meagan Freeman

When I was diagnosed with MS in 2009, I never would have imagined that my greatest challenge would be overcoming my own demotivation and fatigue. My struggle over the past six years has involved many physical challenges, but I have found that my mind can truly pose the greatest threat to my own wellness.

I have never been diagnosed with depression, but I do cope with extreme fatigue, and the symptoms can be very similar. It is often confusing for patients to determine whether they suffer from a psychological, MS related depression, or rather the well-known phenomenon of MS fatigue, known as lassitude.

I have made many lifestyle changes since my diagnosis, including adopting a plant-based diet rich in fruits and vegetables, exercising regularly, and challenging my cognitive skills with writing and academics. According to my most recent blood pressure readings (I also have hypertension,) and my cholesterol panel, I am incredibly healthy from a cardiovascular standpoint. However, the one issue that remains my greatest obstacle is fatigue. As I sit on the couch, my life often swirls around me at the speed of light.

I sit, and my family moves around the house, carrying on with a normal day. Children play, my husband bustles around cleaning, picking up toys. Friends come and go, family members chatter on the phone. Children are getting ready for school, a trip to the park, or horseback riding lessons. All the while, I sit.

It is a feeling like no other, this inability to get up and take part in my life. This experience of being an observer, rather than an active participant. My mind wants desperately to get up, to join in and be there instead of here. My mind urges me, “Get up! You can do it! Let’s go! Don’t miss out!” But my body doesn’t listen. My life feels like a movie at certain moments. It is as if I am sitting in a theater seat, watching images on a screen. The only difference is, the scenes passing by in front of me are my life. Laughing, running, spinning, jumping children fly past me, friends call, invitations are declined. And my internal voices do battle. The mind vs. the body: The epic saga continues.

How do we cope with MS fatigue? Are there any good answers? Often, we ask ourselves whether we are just being lazy, or could we be clinically depressed? The answer is typically, neither! 80% of MS patients suffer from fatigue, and it isn’t your average, everyday exhaustion. It is specific to MS, and incredibly debilitating.

What can we do to manage this fatigue? First and foremost, see your provider. Make sure you aren’t missing a treatable reason for your fatigue, such as a thyroid disorder, sleep apnea, or anemia. Once those causes are ruled out, our options (as always) are quite limited. Physical therapy might be helpful. Sleep regulation is incredibly important, and should be addressed first. Stress reduction and relaxation techniques may be helpful. Avoiding extreme heat is a must, as heat may dramatically worsen fatigue. In addition, several medications are approved for fatigue management with MS.

Most importantly, make sure you are taking care of yourself in all the classic ways. Adequate hydration, nutrition, and rest are essential parts of your daily routine as an MS patient. Avoiding excessive caffeine and alcohol, avoiding smoking, and getting as much activity as possible are all effective ways to manage MS fatigue. Though it may seem counter-intuitive, getting some degree of physical activity can actually increase your energy, even if it is the last thing on Earth you feel like doing. Getting up and off that couch and taking in some sunlight can elevate your mood.

Consider inviting friends to visit you at your home, if you don’t have the strength to go visit them. Being completely honest is essential. Let your friends and family know the degree of your struggle with fatigue, and give them the opportunity to understand. It is important not to isolate and withdraw from friends and family due to fatigue. We often jump to the conclusion that “no one gets it. No one will ever understand.” Maybe they will if you give them a chance. Educating our family and friends about our illness is our responsibility, as patients. We should offer as much advice and information as possible to those in our circle. They will likely be happy to help if they can!

My own fatigue continues to be an ongoing battle, but with my Neurologist’s help, I am learning to manage my symptoms more effectively. I believe the most important thing to remember is that we are not alone. Many of our symptoms are entirely treatable, but we can never hope to see improvement until we reach out and ask for help.

*Meagan Freeman was diagnosed with RRMS in 2009, at the age of 34, in the midst of her graduate education. She is a Family Nurse Practitioner in Northern California, and is raising her 6 children (ranging from 6–17 years of age) with her husband, Wayne. She has been involved in healthcare since the age of 19, working as an Emergency Medical Technician, an Emergency Room RN, and now a Nurse Practitioner. Writing has always been her passion, and she is now able to spend more time blogging and raising MS awareness. She guest blogs for Race to Erase MS, Modern Day MS, and now MSAA. Please visit her at: http://www.motherhoodandmultiplesclerosis.com.

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