The Frustration of FWV (Fumbling Word Vomit)

Posted on July 31, 2019 by MultipleSclerosis.net

It does have a name. That maddening feeling of being stuck, unable to express what’s on your mind. In the Multiple Sclerosis community, it’s now called fumbling word vomit.

In her piece, Ashley Ringstaff details what many of you have experienced—that inability to find the right words in the moment. It’s yet another piece of MS that’s hard to live with.

We posted Ringstaff’s piece in the MultipleSclerosis.net Facebook page, and more than 100 of you commented, venting along with Ringstaff and sharing solution as well.

Here’s what you had to say. Continue reading →

Relationships and Multiple Sclerosis

Posted on August 28, 2017 by MSAA

By Ashley Ringstaff

Living with multiple sclerosis is life changing for the person diagnosed, but it is also a change for our loved ones as well. I often tell people that my loved ones “Live with MS” also, because it is now a part of their lives for the long haul. It’s a learning experience and modification time for all involved. Things change when we least expect it as well, that will need modifications along the way. Meaning, if we relapse, new symptoms occur, etc.

I can honestly say that when I was first diagnosed that I pushed people away, especially my husband. I was only 22 at the time of diagnosis, and I felt like I didn’t want to make him deal with this at such a young age as well. Luckily for me, he is very stubborn and didn’t allow me to push him away, and for that I’m grateful.

There were people close to me at the time of diagnosis, which I no longer associate with. It was not my choice to no longer be friends with them, but things happen. It hurt, to have people abandon me at such a crazy time in my life. I understand now that not everyone can “handle” multiple sclerosis, even indirectly.

The state of mind I had when I was first diagnosed – I was very depressed, as well as angry. I couldn’t even tell you which emotion I was feeling more of at that time. They were pretty much dead even, but one would be more prominent at times, depending on the situation.

Many people, including myself, will tell you that you find out whom your true friends are when faced with such a life-changing event. I’ve made new friends since my diagnosis, and I have come to tell people straight off the bat that there will be times that I have to cancel last minute on plans, or I can’t give a 100% answer on if I can go to an event or not, because it all depends on other factors. Is the event outside, is it very hot outside, etc.

If you’re reading this, and you are in a relationship with someone that has MS, please be patient, especially if they are newly diagnosed. For those of you that are friends with someone that has MS, in a relationship with them, related to them, etc. Please be patient in general. Also, take the time to try and understand what we’re going through as best as you can. It makes it easier for us to vent and talk to you, when you have some sort of knowledge about multiple sclerosis, and how it affects us on a daily basis.

I have a friend that I don’t get to see as often as we would like, but she still texts me or calls me just checking on me… seeing how I’m doing… Do I need anything? I can’t even being to explain to you how much that means to me, and to many others living with MS. Just having someone there for us, it can mean the world.

For those of you that have been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, you are not alone. You have so many of us out here in the MS community that will be there for you and talk to you, and just let you vent… we may need to vent in return. I’ve had so many people message me on social media, and are so glad that they have someone to talk to about this illness, that “get’s it”. Also, know that those around you might want to be there for you, but they just don’t know how. You need to let them know what they can do help you out, or even suggest some things they can read, etc. I know it’s easy to isolate ourselves, to avoid people leaving us in the long run… but then you have no one there for you in the end.

There are so many resources out there that offer ways for you to build relationships with others living with MS in your local community, online, etc. Here is a listing of the organizations apart of the MS Coalition, click here. Here is another listing as well, click here.

Whatever you are feeling and/or going through, it is never ‘wrong’. You have the right to feel certain ways, and we can’t control the way MS affects each and every one of us. We are all affected differently, but we are all in this together. I can honestly tell you that many people that I’ve spoken to with Multiple Sclerosis, want to hand out the “MS &Things People Should NOT Say” list to their loved ones, and other articles I’ve written on MultipleSclerosis.net. There is also a list my good friends and fellow writer, Cathy Chester wrote called, “What People SHOULD Say to Someone Living with Multiple Sclerosis.” This is a good article to read for the friends and loved ones of someone living with MS.

I hope you enjoyed the article, and please feel free to reach out to me on my Facebook page if you ever just need to chat.

*Ashley is a 29 year old from Central Texas, that was diagnosed with RRMS in August 2010, at the age of 22. She is a mom of two boys and loves to read & write in her spare time. Ashley is a blogger for MultipleSclerosis.net, you can view her blogs here. Her writing is mostly written with a sense of humor and personal experiences.

Making Comparisons with MS – Community Feedback

Posted on September 25, 2015 by MultipleSclerosis.net

There are so many aspects of living with MS that are frustrating, and sometimes those frustrations occur when interacting with people who do not have MS. One of our amazing contributors, Ashley Ringstaff, shared her feelings about people comparing their experiences with things like fatigue, pain, numbness, and other symptoms with those symptoms in someone who has MS. Many of our community members shared their thoughts and experiences with us after reading Ashley’s article, “You Can’t Compare…”. Here is what they had to say:

“Healthy” People Just Don’t Understand

This is something that I just cannot seem to communicate to certain people who don’t have MS or have never been chronically ill. “Healthy” people just cannot empathize, and I know because I used to be one and now my experience is completely different.
The best is when people who know I have MS contact me and tell me they feel they are having symptoms and think they might have MS too – as if I can diagnose them! I try to see it from their perspective but it’s very difficult. ‪Also when I say I’m fatigued- they say they get that way too all the time! I want to explain to them that they have no idea. But I just smile.
When I try to talk to family members, they say they get dizzy, or they stagger around, etc. I just stop talking and tell them they should get checked out. Even my husband doesn’t totally understand what I go through on a daily basis. I just get so frustrated that I can’t do everything I use to do.
I hate that my best friend who I haven’t been able to see that much in the past year constantly compares my issue with MS to her chronic pain in her hip, telling me she knows exactly how I feel.
When I tell people I can’t be in the heat (for me it’s anything above 70) they say “I don’t like the heat either”. I just look at them dumbfounded. I want to yell “When was the last time you got warm and couldn’t lift your legs to walk or think yourself.
You know, it is natural to feel this way. I am a 15-year stroke survivor and am irritated when someone (who has never experienced a stroke) says they know how I feel. The best common factor I’ve found is any type of trauma.

It’s really not possible to compare

You can’t even compare your symptoms with others experience who do have MS, or for that matter, I can’t even compare the last time I had a given symptom to what I experience this time.
I know there are many people in the world with diseases that are even worse than MS, so who compares what anyway? Just try to feel good for yourself and forget about complaining.
It’s next to impossible to explain what having multiple sclerosis is like to people.

“Healthy” People offer a lot of unsolicited advice

They ask how I am feeling, so I tell them. The response is always “have you tried such and such” or “that happens to me, too.” Now I only share my symptoms and feelings with medical professionals and a couple of friends who truly do understand. Family? Forget it.
I love when people say “you would feel better if you lose weight or eat healthier” or the classic “exercise would make you feel great”. My family and friends mean well but don’t always say the right things.

“Healthy” People are just trying to relate to us – it’s harmless

I like to be more optimistic – I believe, most of the time, they are trying to relate. Unless they are significant in my life, I don’t try to differentiate.
I feel the majority are trying to empathize. Most just don’t know how to react when you tell them you have MS because they don’t understand what it means.

What about you? Do you find that “healthy” people try to compare their symptoms with yours? Share with us in the comments!

March is MS Awareness Month

Posted on March 11, 2015 by MSAA

By: Ashley Ringstaff

I know there are a lot of questions many people with MS ask themselves… and some of those questions are based upon being involved in the MS Community. How can we get involved? How can we make a difference?

I thought I would try and share my thought on this subject, for the month of March, which is recognized by many as Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Month. There are a lot of events that you may see online, on social media, and many other places. But how can we get involved?

I do a lot of advocacy for multiple sclerosis all year round, and I don’t usually attend huge MS events in order to do so. I do small, but meaningful things to raise awareness about multiple sclerosis.

The obvious one, is that I blog… but before I even started writing; I became a volunteer with MSWorld.org where I am a part of an Online Support Group for MS Patients & their Caregivers.

However, I feel that advocating really needs to go BEYOND just the MS Community, and advocated to the general public. When I have been out in public, someone will ask me what MS stands for, because I was wearing an MS t-shirt. So I explained to them what it was. Just passing along information to a few people can spread the word. Once you have given the person information, they will probably relay it to someone else they know.

I use my social media outlets to raise awareness about multiple sclerosis. I’ve done lobbying before; I do as much as I can. However, we can’t just depend on a few people to raise awareness for MS. We ALL need to take part in some sort of way.

Do you remember hearing/seeing about the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge? I saw a lot of people with MS wanting to do something like that, to bring awareness for MS. While it’s a good idea, it’s very hard to ‘copy cat’ an awareness project. But ALS is also a neurological illness with no cure, so the research being done for ALS, is most likely going to benefit the MS community in some way or another.

I’ve seen videos online of people at the mall putting up a booth, and having people who are shopping at the mall, “Try on MS”. There are so many things being done to raise awareness for MS around the World. I don’t feel like we all have to have a ‘theme’ to raise awareness, just spreading the word can do a lot.

However, I will be contacting my local news stations, letting them know that March is MS Awareness Month – and if they can do some sort of coverage on it. I’m going to make a shirt that says, “Ask me about multiple sclerosis” … original right? But it will get people wondering. Even if they don’t come up and ask me, more than likely, they will look it up on their phone.

Get involved with your local organizations group… whether that’s with MSAA, NMSS, or just something you and others you know with MS in your area get together once a month. Discuss with each other how you can make a difference in your community.

At MSWorld, we made a campaign to “Live Beyond MS: Breaking the Silence”. When I speak to people that have MS as well as their loved ones, they all want to know when a cure will be available for us. That’s a good question… but I’m not going to sit around and just wait for researchers to give me the answers we are looking for. Why? Because the bottom line is, the more people who know about multiple sclerosis, the more funding we will get for research, the closer we are to a cure, re-myelination, Stem Cell… the list goes on and on.

So, what is the conclusion to this article? Don’t wait for someone else to do something to bring awareness to MS… start doing it yourself, every bit you do makes a difference, whether you believe it or not.

xoxo
Ashley Ringstaff
MSWorld Volunteer
Diagnosed in 2010
Blogger for MultipleSclerosis.net
Follow me on Facebook
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Stress and the Holidays with MS

Posted on December 12, 2014 by Ashley

Can you believe it’s already that time of the year again for the holidays? With everything we have going on in our lives and tacking on multiple sclerosis with it, it can be very hectic.

The holidays are meant to be a time to be with family and enjoy ourselves, not stress over shopping, hosting parties, cooking, etc. Then you tack on the crazy weather we have been having on top of everything else, it’s just down right insane.

(Now maybe some of y’all are used to the cold weather, but it’s a bit of a shock to us down here in the South.)

So I thought I would share some of the things that I do, so that I’m not adding stress to my already stressful life. It’s hard to be completely stress free, so I’m not even going to attempt to say something like “stress free.”

Sometimes it feels like there aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything that we need to get done, completed.

For me, when the day is coming to a close, I feel like it’s family time and time to relax. Not to run around ‘till I’m exhausted getting Christmas shopping done, etc. I don’t have the energy and/or strength to stand in lines, to fight the crowds, and everything else that comes along with holiday shopping.

Many sales aren’t just limited to ‘in-store’ purchases, but are also online. One thing I’ve done in the past – and will do this year as well, is shopping online. I know it’s not the same thing as actually going to the store and buying things, but it’s better for me and my MS, so that’s what I’m taking in to account. I don’t want to run down my body or cause my MS to flare-up trying to shop for the holidays. Where is the fun in that?

You would be surprised on what all is offered online. I love shopping at Amazon, because they seem to have almost everything available because they have outside vendors. Plus, a lot of the time when you’re shopping online certain stores offer free shipping if your total price is over a certain limit. Even if you have to pay for shipping, I think that the same amount would go towards gas if you’re actually driving around and shopping.

Now, whether you are shopping online or in the store, see if they offer gift-wrapping. This is a very big problem for me. I have spasticity in my hands, so if I’m trying to wrap multiple gifts at a time, my hands start giving me issues, and then the wrapping isn’t so pretty.

If you enjoy doing your own gift-wrapping, try and make a schedule out of it, so that you aren’t wrapping everything at once. I’ve done that before, and it wasn’t nice at all.

I know that it can be annoying that we have to make certain changes in our ‘routine,’ but I feel that those changes are worth it personally. By doing some simple, small changes, I can make sure that I’m not going to ‘pay for it’ from my MS in the future.

If you’re hosting a holiday event at your house, kudos to you! I don’t think I could handle all that. But if you are one of those people, don’t feel like you have to do ALL of the cooking for the gathering. Ask family/friends to bring certain dishes. Have a little sign-up sheet online, Google Docs, or something.

Something I have come to absolutely love is my crock-pot. This way it prevents standing for a long period of time cooking certain things. I can throw things for a recipe in to my crock-pot and turn it on, and it’s one less thing to worry about.

I love getting recipes on Pinterest and similar websites. If you just Google search “Holiday Crockpot Recipes,” I’m sure there will be plenty of results to choose from.

One last note… If you are going to make a run to the store to get your ingredients for a recipe, or anything else for that matter, have a list put together. I like to organize my list by section; this way I don’t have to scan through the entire list every time I look at it.

Most importantly, have fun with your family and friends. This is a time to spend time together, and be thankful for what we have been blessed with. I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s okay to allow someone to help you out. There is no shame in asking someone to help out with simple tasks.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

Ashley Ringstaff

MSWorld Volunteer

www.msworld.org

Why I Choose to Medicate for my Multiple Sclerosis

Posted on June 27, 2014 by Ashley

I know that there are a lot of people with Relapsing forms of MS who wonder why we are encouraged to medicate. Especially, when these medications do not ‘stop’ progression, but have only shown to slow progression. It’s a big decision to make when choosing to medicate, if you do plan to do so.

I can honestly say that looking at the ‘world of MS’ from 20 years ago to now, it seems that disability rates have improved, along with patients Quality of Life.

I know that a lot of the MS medications available have side effects that are associated with the treatment, but the way I look at it is, at least we have options. We aren’t without medications to help slow our progression anymore. We also don’t have to all take ONE certain medication either.

I haven’t been one of those patients with MS, who gets on and stays on the first medication that I chose. Not one medication works for everyone living with MS. I have changed medications multiple times since my diagnosis, not because I ‘wanted’ to, but because I needed to.

So, the question people ask me a lot is, “Why do you choose to medicate, if you have failed multiple treatment options?” This isn’t an easy question to answer by any means. For one, I’m scared. I’m scared of the unknown… I’m scared to know what would happen if I didn’t medicate. Even though these medications don’t promise to STOP progression, they have shown to slow it… and I really don’t want to know what my life would be like if these medications weren’t slowing at least some of my progression.

Another response I have is, why not? What do I have to lose? Before I actually got diagnosed I was miserable and could barely function, and ended up being in a wheelchair. (I am no longer in a wheelchair, by the way.) I’ve already been at my lowest and it’s not somewhere I want to go again.

Whenever you read anything about multiple sclerosis, it states that it is a progressive illness. I don’t want to take my chances to see just how ‘progressive’ my disease can be.

So, as long as there are options available for me try, I will. I know that having flu-like symptoms with an interferon, or GI issues with Tecfidera aren’t pleasant, but the truth is, it could be a lot worse if we don’t deal with those side effects and get on a treatment.

Now I’m not just saying I play ‘eenie-meenie-minie-mo’ to choose a medication – this takes a lot of research and discussing these options with my neurologist and family. Something I use when wanting to compare the medications is MSAA’s S.E.A.R.C.H. Program. There are many resources available to those with MS when trying to decide which medication to take, so make use of them.

The medications available to MS patients have been increasing since I was diagnosed in 2010. Try to stay informed and educate yourself about what’s going on with MS Clinical Research. This way you know if a new medication for MS is on the horizon.

MSAA even has a Research Update publication that you can check out to learn more. As most of you know, I’m a volunteer for MSWorld.org, and we attend Multiple Sclerosis Conferences, helping to keep everyone at home up-to-date on all things MS. You can view all of MSWorld’s Conference Coverage at the Conference Center or YouTube Channel.

Best Wishes!

Ashley Ringstaff – Volunteer for MSWorld.org

Keeping Your Cool During the Warmer Months to Help Manage MS Heat-Related Symptoms

Posted on June 25, 2014 by MultipleSclerosis.net

The summer months are upon us, which means warmer temperatures and the potential for a worsening in MS symptoms. Fatigue is one of the more common symptoms of MS, and it can impact a person’s mood, sleep, and overall quality of life.¹ As many of us know, there is a well-established link between MS-related fatigue and heat sensitivity,² so the warmer summer months can be especially challenging for a person with MS.

Last summer, one of the MultipleSclerosis.net contributors, Ashley Ringstaff, wrote about some of her trips and tricks for dealing with the summer heat. Since Ashley lives in central Texas, she is no stranger to brutally hot summers. She also has 2 very energetic children who love being outside, so staying in an air-conditioned house all day isn’t an option, even if she wanted it to be. Ashley’s recommends using cooling products (not just cooling vests), including those that are available through MSAA’s Cooling Program and Polar Products. She also uses an outdoor garden hose mister and outdoor fans when she is sitting on her porch, and she even likes the inexpensive handheld fans when she is following her boys around. She noted that staying hydrated, is of course, also extremely important.

Caregivers also understand the importance of helping a person with MS stay cool to minimize heat-related symptoms. Last summer, Patrick Leer shared his story about making lifestyle adjustments to help his wife during the warm summer months. He made sure to keep a cooler packed with water bottles and a neck cooler that he received at an MS walk. Patrick also mentioned unique considerations for planning a family vacation at the beach – he would book a room with a view of the beach so his wife could stay inside with air-conditioning and enjoy watching their daughter play outside in the sand. They even managed to find a beach hotel with an ice rink, which seemed to be made for families just like theirs!

Because heat can exacerbate MS-related fatigue, we recently asked our Facebook community if they experience more fatigue in warmer months, and how they manage MS-related fatigue. Here are some of the highlights from our community members’ responses:

Managing MS-Related Fatigue in the Warmer Months

Keeping cool using different devices

Soak small towels in water for your neck, face and top of your head and reload it at water fountains or hoses.
Use a cooling vest.
Carry ice packs in your pockets with a travel sized spray bottle full of cold water.
Carry a small damp towel in the spring and summer to help cool your head and face.
Use Frog Togg cooling cloths.
Wet bands that you put around your neck really help; also drink plenty of water, use air conditioners and fans.
Take cool showers.
Some individuals may benefit by wearing long sleeves and a hat when outside. Sweating is nature’s way of keeping you cool, so long sleeves can absorb perspiration and keep you cooler. Limiting time outside to 15- or 20-minute periods with rest in between can also help.

Consuming cold food/beverages

Eating crushed ice throughout the day can help.
Keeping a cold drink with you helps tremendously so you can cool yourself from the inside out. Iced beverages and popsicles help.

Other tools to combat heat-related fatigue

Exercise helps but it is sometimes difficult to shake the symptoms to get up the energy to go exercise.
Acupuncture and reflexology can help.
Try to get as much done in the morning to mid afternoon.
If prescribed by your doctor, taking a medication such as Provigil® (modafinil) that promotes wakefulness can help.

MultipleSclerosis.net moderator, Christie Germans, mentioned that she relies heavily on air conditioning as well, and she’s able to get a discount on her electricity bill due to her MS diagnosis. She recommends exploring your gas/electricity provider’s website for discounts available for medical needs. Multiple sclerosis will likely be listed in the “qualifying medical needs” list. Or, contact your neurologist’s office. You may be able to save as much as 30% on your bill! For her full response, click here.

Do you experience more symptoms in the warmer months? How do you manage MS-related fatigue?

References

1. Induruwa I, Constantinescu CS, Gran B. Fatigue in multiple sclerosis – a brief review. J Neurol Sci. 2012;323:9-15.

2. Marino FE. Heat reactions in multiple sclerosis: An overlooked paradigm in the study of comparative fatigue. Int. J Hyperthermia. 2009;25:34-40.

Spring into Action

Posted on April 11, 2014 by Ashley

Well, it’s officially spring… although I know a lot of people up north would disagree with the cold weather… but I thought I would talk about some of things that I do to “Spring into Action” around this time of year.

Since the weather is actually REALLY nice in Texas right now, I’ve been trying to spend a lot of time outside… and for those of you who enjoy the outdoors as much as I do, there are some things we need to take into account. Like… how long should we stay outside? For me, it’s all about reading the signs my body gives me. If I start to feel overheated, I go into shade, or go inside. If I’m REALLY overheated, like I get in the 100+ Degree Weather we have in Texas during the summer, a cold shower always helps!

Now, before it gets TOO hot outside, there are some things you can do that will help you manage the heat later on. Do you have any MS Cooling Packs? If not, I highly recommend checking out MSAA’s Cooling Distribution Program. I’ve come to find that the Cooling Neck & Upper Spine Wrap, from Polar Products, really cools my core temperature. Also, there are those little Wrist Cooling Wraps that help as well. Also, when sitting outside on those hot summer days, I LOVE my Cooling Seat Cushion. Now these are just my personal opinion that I’ve found through trying different types of cooling products that help me out, and that I also don’t have to put on under clothing.

When it comes to any type of cooling product used for Heat Intolerance & MS, I feel like it’s a personal preference. The ones listed above are what I use when I’m just sitting outside, watching the kids play, etc. But when it comes to doing things outside like going on walks, yard work, etc. This is when I would use my Cooling Vest. There are A LOT of different types to choose from, so again, personal preference. By clicking on any of the links above, it will take you to different things offered by Polar Products. But there are other Cooling Product Companies out there; I just listed the ones that I have personally used.

Now, I know that a lot of us made some promises to ourselves for the New Year to become more active, eat healthier, etc. I’ve been doing that… and I have a gym membership… and I can say that the exercise that I can do the easiest is swimming. I did make sure that the gym I got a membership to had an INDOOR pool, because with the way the weather has been lately, you never know what you’re going to get.

I’m not going to say it was REALLY easy beginning exercising regularly again, but I do enjoy it. I think one of the most frustrating things I’ve been dealing with is the fact that I was so used to what I was able to do BEFORE I got MS, when I was in Athletics in school, Swim Team and things like that. But I’ve come to the realization that if I don’t want to overdo and aggravate my MS & MS Symptoms, that I have to make a new routine. It takes time, but I feel like I have more energy now. I don’t go to the gym every day, but I do try and walk a little bit on the days that I don’t.

Now about this whole “eating healthy” thing… let me just say that I am a born & raised Texan, and I love my southern food and Mexican food… so this is a REALLY tough issue! I’m not being REALLY intense with it, but I am watching my portions and things like that. I won’t ever be able to stay away from carbs and all of that yummy stuff that I crave, so I decided I wasn’t going to make a plan that I wasn’t going to fully stick with. But by watching my portions and having small snacks in between meals, it’s pretty easy, for me anyway. Oh, and let me just tell you that I am a VERY picky eater and don’t eat the suggested fruits and vegetable intake that you’re supposed to, but I did find a yummy supplement at a health store that I mix with water in the morning and drink that with my breakfast (it tastes like candy, by the way) and that way, I have had my “suggested daily fruits and veggie intake.”

Okay – I hope I didn’t overload you with all that information, but I did want to cover a few of those topics that I know are really popular right now. I hope everyone is outside enjoying the weather- if it’s not too cold, that is.

For more information about Resources for your MS, check out MSWorld’s Resource Center.

Best Wishes!

Ashley Ringstaff – Volunteer for MSWorld.org

My MS New Year’s Resolutions

Posted on January 31, 2014 by Ashley

So, the usual New Year’s resolution has to do with being healthier, losing weight, etc. I’ve decided to make a resolution, but it has nothing to do with what I just listed.

So what’s my ‘big’ resolution? I plan on working on not being SO STUBBORN! I know that seems odd, but if you continue reading, you will understand.

I am a very stubborn person in many aspects in life, especially when it comes to my MS. Here are some things I plan on being less stubborn/hard headed about:

When someone offers me help, when it’s obvious I’m having a difficult time, I’m going to try and accept the help that is offered instead of being stubborn and trying to do everything on my own. While we don’t want our independence taken from us, and we like to do things on our own like we used to, sometimes it would make life easier to accept the help that is offered because that offer is coming from someone who obviously cares.

When my MS gets in my way of doing certain things, I’m usually too stubborn to stop what I’m doing or just take a break. I try and push through it all, but in the end I seem to suffer more in the aftermath of it all. So, I plan on ‘listening’ to my body & MS better, which will of course get on my nerves, but I believe it will benefit me in the long run.

When a loved one asks how I’m doing (and isn’t just asking it to be polite), I will not be so stubborn and disregard their question with an, “I’m Fine” answer… if they’re someone who genuinely cares about how I’m doing, I will give them a genuine answer. By doing so, I’m hoping that it will ease some of the tension I gather when holding all the information of “how I’m feeling” bottled up inside.

I’m also going to work on not being so stubborn about ‘remembering’ things. I always tell myself that I will remember a certain bit of information and I don’t need to write it down… but I end up forgetting the information in the long run, so I’m going to start making notes on my phone or a small spiral notebook.

Finally, I won’t be stubborn at my neurologist’s office, and I will ask the questions that need to be asked, and I will be completely honest when answering questions. I’ve realized that by being truthful about how I’m feeling, which isn’t good all the time, I’m not showing any weakness, but I show strength by being able to communicate this information.

So that’s my New Year’s Resolution…what’s yours?

Making Commitments When You Have Multiple Sclerosis

Posted on October 25, 2013 by Ashley

Before I got diagnosed with MS, I would make plans, mark off the ‘Attending’ box on RSVP’s that I received,and I could also just up and do something if there were plans made abruptly, without a second thought.

That’s not the case anymore; I can tell you that much. And I have a feeling I’m not alone on this…

Now, I’m not saying that since I got diagnosed with MS that I don’t want to attend certain events or go out with friends, etc. I still want to do those things; there are just different circumstances now.

I really hate cancelling plans that have been made or not attending something, (like a wedding) that I had replied I would be attending, but my MS isn’t on a “regular schedule.” I can’t tell people, “Well, on Monday, Thursday & Sunday my MS is not cooperative, so I can only do things on Friday & Saturday.” If only it were that easy, right?

So the reasons I don’t like making commitments to plans are because I don’t know how I’m going to be feeling on that day… or at that particular ‘part’ of the day. I know it seems as if I’m “blowing people off,” but that’s not the case. If I said I wanted to attend something, it means I really did. My MS is just not “allowing” me… Kind of like it’s grounding me, like my mom did to me when I was younger.

So now, when people invite me to do something that evening… or the upcoming weekend, I tell them… “I really want to! But I don’t want to make any promises, so let’s see how I’m feeling when the time comes.” For those people who are close to me, they understand my reasoning for saying this… others don’t, and I have to explain, which can be difficult with people who don’t have MS, or who do not have a lot of knowledge of the illness.

My main message on this blog… “Yes, I want to do things…. But sometimes my MS has other ideas that I can’t control!”

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