Resolutions…What Resolutions??

Resolutions! We’re winding down the end of month one of 2017…have you stuck to your new years resolutions?? Or have you like most of us slowly fallen off that bandwagon? Every year individuals around the world make promises to themselves or set goals for the new year. Big, small and things in between, we make our lists. I’ve often done this myself and like many come the start of February when someone asks me “Hey how are your New Year’s Resolutions looking?” I look at them and with complete focus reply “Resolutions…what Resolutions?? Oh those silly things”

I’m sure I’m not alone in this idea of looking around at midnight on December 31st and getting caught up in the excitement and coming up with a few dozen things I will definitely do differently in 2017. This year as I watched the clock tick down and 2016 was on it’s way out the time door I decided that instead of vowing to eat better, read more or even save money that instead this year I wouldn’t make a resolution so much as start a conversation…with myself. As the party started to count down, 10…I thought over the past year. 9…The experiences and the problems. 8… I thought about the things that I’d loved about 2016. 7… and those that I didn’t. 6… And then I had a thought. 5… What if in 2017 instead of promising to do things I may or may not actually do. 4… I decided to promise myself something. 3… That this year, in 2017. 2… I would find, explore and do the things that make me happy. 1… My one and only promise/resolution/goal for 2017 was to the take time to really ask myself and listen intently to the answers to what makes me, me. The happy, more positive version of me…0.

So that’s what I’ve been doing this year. Yes I had my “I really should cook instead of running thru the drive thru” moment and gotten up early to do some yoga, or in some cases just have a cup of coffee and watched the sun rise. But not necessarily because I’m trying to be super healthy or save money or anything specific to that. But because cooking and watching a new day start and coffee make me happy. So it may be the end of the first month of 2017 but there is definitely still time to decide not on a resolution per say. But on more of a journey or an exploration…What if you spent some time this year, finding what makes you happy and doing that from time to time not by accident but intentionally. It might be easier to keep than some of the other resolutions we’ve all made.

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Why Just at New Year’s?

Last week people all around the world celebrated and rang in the New Year; 2017 felt like it came so quickly and of course with it came the routine creation of resolutions and goals for the start of the new year. It’s tradition, right? To make New Year’s resolutions and try to stick with them until at least… the end of January? Lol.

I heard something on the radio recently about resolutions – the question as to why people wait until January 1st to make them and essentially put their goals and hopes of change on hold until this significant date. Sure, it does make sense to wait until the start of a fresh year to initiate change; the New Year has always symbolized new beginnings and a clean slate to start anew. But just imagine if you were to start your own tradition of making resolutions and promises of change in the middle, or anytime of the year for that matter – whenever it is that the idea first pops into your head? You’re under no obligation to delay or put your life on hold because of past traditions and habits. If you’re one who likes to wait and mark these resolutions in the New Year then that’s great! But there’s no reason if you want to make a change now, why you’d have to postpone it. I mean there is something to be said for traditions, it’s nice to have customs and practices that are familiar and safe and comforting, but it’s also ok to spark a new practice within your life. Though the world and life in general can have their own very strong influences and effects in your day to day, you still have power to make decisions that impact your own life too, so that means you can make choices that suit your best interest, not just at New Year’s but all year round.

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Stick to YOUR OWN agenda

During this month’s blog posts we’ve had discussions relating to resolutions, changes, and goals for the new year ahead. While many people work hard to create their own plans and generate new goals to achieve, some individuals try to impose their own agenda onto others—with the expectation that the objectives they envisioned for that person will automatically be met.

Some of us are not complete strangers to this situation; especially if during your childhood or adolescent years you had parents or other figures hold you to complete certain tasks and require the execution of specific goals. This is usually not done in malice, but rather people wanting the best for others and for them to perform at their highest level of potential. However, for individuals experiencing an illness or disability, these anticipations can be overwhelming and burdensome at times, especially if they don’t match with their abilities and skillsets. Everyone is different and is capable of different things.

Even though it’s done with good intentions, others expectations can sometimes take over one’s own agenda completely, leaving their own goals and aspirations on the sidelines. It’s difficult trying to meet others’ goals for what you should or should not be accomplishing, and it can be downright exhausting trying to satisfy others in this manner. That’s why it’s important to stick to your own plans and agenda—to realize your abilities or limitations and to strive forward with this thoughtfully in mind. You can take others suggestions, if asked for, to take into consideration when you’re forming your objectives, but they should be your own and done on your own terms. It’s hard to please everyone, but if at the end of the day you are comfortable with the decisions you’ve made and the feats you’ve conquered, I’d say to chalk that up as a win!

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Here’s To a New Year!

When the clock struck midnight on December 31st, it symbolized the beginning of a brand new year for us to embark on! 2016 is here and it brings with it hope and light and aspirations that will optimistically fill the year ahead. The year of 2015 brought many different types of happenings; some dark, others bright, but also the chance to look ahead to a new time with different opportunities to seize and novel goals to set.

The new year represents new beginnings and a fresh start, a time to look ahead and think about what it is you’d like to do with your time in the coming year. This new time can mean different things to everyone—we are all unique so the things we set out to consider and do in the year ahead will be diverse. There’s no wrong resolution to set or incorrect goal to carry out; what you plan for yourself in the days ahead is up to you.

So what are some the things you’d like to do in the new year? I’ll get this discussion going: I’d like to take a class of some kind, maybe a cooking course (those skills would be welcome in my kitchen, haha).

How about you?

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How Small Changes Can Make a Big Difference in the New Year

By: Matt Cavallo

While most people are planning for their New Year’s resolutions, many of us with multiple sclerosis are just trying to feel normal again after all the holiday activities. The problem with the holidays is that they take us out of our normal routines and create financial and emotional stress. When we go outside of our normal routine or have increased stress, we unknowingly put ourselves at risk for an MS exacerbation, or relapse.

Last year I blogged, “Tips for Avoiding a Post-Holiday Multiple Sclerosis Flare”, which can be read by clicking here. Those tips include: developing a financial plan, changing eating habits, exercising, getting back on your schedule and setting attainable goals. You can enjoy the holidays, but it is critical to have a plan to get back on track.

Most times my tips come from lessons I’ve learned the hard way. Instead of taking my own advice last year I tried to be super dad and ran myself ragged. I spent the next couple of months trying to recover from the MS fatigue, was unable to take off the extra holiday weight and had to buy new pants with a stretchy waist band.

You see, you don’t have to wait until the New Year for a do-over. Resolutions can start at any time. Mine was to ditch the stretchy pants. I made sure to start working towards it before the holiday season began. I also made a couple of smart decisions along the way.

I took extra time off to make sure that I wasn’t stressed with last minute running around. Taking care of the gifts ahead of time also softened the financial stress of the season, because the costs were spread out. We didn’t stray too much from our regular diet, but did allow some holiday goodies. I also made sure to take extra time to rest. Taking the time off to spend with my family allowed me to be super dad and catch up on rest.

With all of the planning I did ahead of time, I am much less stressed and fatigued than last year. I am also down a couple of pounds and can ditch the stretchy pants. I’m still not exactly where I want to be yet, but I am working on it. A pleasant side effect of implementing a resolution before the New Year is that I actually believe that I have some attainable goals that I can stick to.

What I learned is that I don’t need a holiday to commit to feeling better. I cannot control what MS does to me, but I can control other things like fitting into my pants. Making small changes can have a big impact on how you feel or how fatigued you are. What little changes are you going to make in 2015?

Thank you for your continued readership and support. Wishing you and yours a happy, healthy New Year!

*Matt Cavallo was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2005. Matt is an MS blogger, author, patient advocate, and motivational speaker. Matt also has his Master’s degree in Public Health Administration. Matt is the proud father of his two sons, loving husband to his wife, Jocelyn, and best friend to his dog, Teddy. Originally from the Boston suburbs, Matt currently resides in Arizona with his family. To learn more about Matt, please visit him at : http://mattcavallo.com/blog/

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Here’s to a New Year!

Proof-V1-2014-MSAA Holiday Cards14It’s time to celebrate a new year again, and with it, new hopes and goals for the upcoming months. A new year symbolizes many things but one of the most aspiring qualities it holds is promise. Things can be changed, new strategies can be created and thus new journeys can begin during this fresh start. No matter the venture, people can make choices and set goals that work to accommodate their needs and wants to make the year a memorable one.

Though each New Year represents the passing of time, it also ignites new beginnings and reminders that time is precious and to make each moment count. Resolutions are a common theme this time of year and one of the most popular items to add to one’s agenda. If you create resolutions for yourself make them attainable so they’re something you can commit to and strive for within the year. Form resolutions and goals that you’re passionate about so your interest in them remains strong. The New Year is just that, new, so take time to learn what the year has to offer and what you can obtain from it.

What will you be doing in the New Year?

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Creating New Memories this Holiday Season

“What if Christmas, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!”
― Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Growing up, one of my favorite activities in school was around learning and exploring new cultures and how they celebrate holidays. Being so young and not yet having a chance to explore the world around me, I found it fascinating that people were different from what I assumed was the norm.

For example, in Germany, December 6th is St. Nicholas’ Day and “der Nikolaus” comes to the home of small children and brings gifts, such as sweets and chocolate, and puts them into the shoes of the children, who place them by their doors the night before. Then on the night of December 24th, Father Christmas brings presents to the children.

In Argentina, families celebrate starting Christmas Eve with a large family meal following with a fireworks display at midnight, toasting to Christmas. Many families stay up late into the night meeting with friends and family, then they will sleep all of Christmas Day.

To celebrate the New Year, people in Greece hang an onion on their door to symbolize rebirth and in the Philippines, women wear polka dot dresses and men carry coins in their pockets to symbolize prosperity and happiness for the new year.

The purpose of sharing these variations of holiday celebrations is to show that no matter how you choose to celebrate a holiday this year whether it is Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, remember that it is OK to be different. Value time spent with family, not the gifts that are given, or the decorations that are hung. Create new memories this season and don’t be afraid to veer from the holiday norm. As the Dr. Seuss quote illustrates, the holiday spirit cannot be bought from a store, the holiday is what you make of it.

If you are looking for some inspiration from other countries on how to add some new culture to your holiday, check out the Why Christmas webpage to learn more about Christmas Around the World or 123 New Year to learn about New Year’s Traditions and Customs.

How do you plan to make new memories this holiday season?

References:
http://www.whychristmas.com/cultures/
http://www.123newyear.com/newyear-traditions/philippines.html
http://www.businessinsider.com/new-years-rituals-around-the-world-2013-12#in-greece-people-hang-an-onion-on-their-doors-3

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Measuring Success

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Sometimes life can be tough, and we may have to hear feedback that we don’t want to receive or work through challenging situations we don’t want to encounter. Like when the school says that your child is just not able to do what other kids can, or when your boss says that you are not keeping up to the standards the workplace requires, and if something doesn’t change soon, they’re going to have to let you go.

It is never easy or pleasant to deal with times where your “actions” or a loved one’s “actions“ are not “measuring up” to the expectations of what is required in a situation. This may occur when a real issue arises, i.e. if you are a nurse you need to have the ability to properly measure medications, and not doing this in a proper way can lead to major harm, or if your child needs a specific educational plan of action and you don’t get them help, it could be a big disservice.

Alternately, these types of situations can occur when the other person has a different “measuring stick” than you do, like if your old boss understood that you needed to take an afternoon break to be recharged and on your game for the rest of the day, but a new boss is inflexible and slams your work performance for taking a break. This type of situation can lead to major frustration and anger on both sides of the coin. The new boss has a different measurement they are using for success.

So, when it is not just a situation you have to own up to or seek support to overcome, how do you get the other party who is using a different measuring stick to see reason? First, check your own thought process by bouncing the situation off of a trusted friend, family member, or co-worker. Do they agree that you are being reasonable, or do they bring up good counterpoints for you to consider? Second, check for any formal supports or avenues for recourse. This might include documenting this situation and your concerns, or seeking out formal supports. In this workplace scenario, it might include talking with HR and asking for a formal workplace accommodation. It may also include you documenting your work actions more carefully or capturing feedback from clients or co-workers about your work to allay concerns presented by the new boss.

Not every difficult situation can be resolved, especially if neither person can compromise or shift how they are measuring success. You can do your part by being proactive in trying to see how the other person is viewing the situation, and trying to present your own views and insights in a clear and rational manner. Sometimes even simply acknowledging that you are looking at the situation from two different vantage points can allow enough of a bridge to achieve some type of workable solution.

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It’s beginning to look a lot like fall….

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Cooler temps forecast across parts of the country this week remind us that the fall season is approaching. Cooler nights, falling leaves and seasonal colors like orange and yellow are some of the trademarks of this festive time of year. Though some areas are still consumed by warm temperatures and strong sun rays, it is the time of year where the seasons start to evolve.

For those affected by the heat, fall is a welcomed time of the year that brings with it opportunities to enjoy the outdoors in a more comfortable manner. Sports activities, ball games, gardening and festive fall events are some ways to embrace the season’s change by spending time outside, and to perhaps ‘escape’ from hibernating methods used during the summer months when the unbearable heat was avoided.

Some look at the season change as a way to start new ventures, set new goals, or make plans for the rest of the year. New beginnings can create feelings of excitement and hope as new memories are made and added to those past. Though change can be difficult at times, it’s how you embrace it and make it work for you that matters. How the journey is spent experiencing something new is as important as the destination.

What are you looking forward to this fall?

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Lessons from “Back to School”

For many families, September means back to school. Maybe you sent your child off for a first day of school (elementary, middle or high school each are a special moment), or maybe you are headed off to a class yourself as a college student, graduate student, teacher or professor. If none of these apply to you, then you at least see the back to school supplies and sales popping up everywhere as people make this transition.

If you are not a student or teacher, then once you leave school it can be easy to forget what a time of optimism and hope abounds at the beginning of the new school year. The hope to make new friends, achieve new academic goals, make the team, etc. is probably on the mind of all of those youngsters. Adult students may be invigorated by the goal of obtaining a successful career or the relief of having only one more year to go to finish toward a hard earned degree.

If you are not swept up in the “new year, new you” madness, take a moment. Remember that it doesn’t take classes to help you set goals or achieve outcomes. You don’t have to be in school to make new friends or have a plan of action. Sometimes, a spark of hope and optimism can help you to dream that big dream before your “first day,” and the hard work throughout the year is what helps you achieve your outcome.

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