More Joy, Less Stress

Posted on November 11, 2022 by Courtney Merker

Holiday season is here! While the holiday season can be a cheerful and joyous time, it can also be very stressful and demanding. Back-to-back holiday parties, social obligations, shopping, and entertaining guests can quickly become too much to handle. Alongside this, the feeling of loneliness and isolation are also very common around the holidays. With a few helpful tips and strategies, there are several ways to cope with stress and anxiety so you can enjoy this festive time of year.

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Changing Family Traditions for the Better

Posted on December 19, 2018 by MSAA

By Stacie Prada

I love family traditions. They’re unique to each family, and they bond us to each other. Sometimes it isn’t until we’re older that we realize there are other ways to celebrate. It’s also not until we talk to each other that we realize traditions we love may not be universally liked.

Throughout my youth, Santa always included an orange in the toe of my Christmas stocking. As an adult, I feel like Continue reading →

Top 3 Ways to Manage Holiday Stress

Posted on November 14, 2018 by MSAA

By Alene Brennan

Tis the season to be merry and bright… unless you’re living with multiple sclerosis and wanting to just crawl under the covers at the idea of the holiday commotion.

It seems like all the symptoms of MS can be amplified during the holiday season. Why? Because as much as it is a wonderful time of year, it inevitably increases stress.

For some people, it’s “good” stress – the additional social events with Continue reading →

Gratitude and Thankfulness

Posted on November 17, 2017 by MSAA

By Susan Russo

The holiday season is once again fast approaching. I honestly feel like I just finished boxing up all my decorations from last year. This is a time when everyone tells us to be thankful and to be grateful. But why are these sentiments so pressured into us at this time of year? Why not all year around? I don’t actually have an answer for you except for what these graces mean to me in my own life and why I choose to celebrate all year long.

I remember when I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Was I grateful and thankful for this disease at the onset? Absolutely not! I was angry and frustrated and in a serious “why me” phase. But, as time seems to heal all wounds, over the following months, my heart softened and I started appreciating MS for what it is; a disease that can crush you or build you up. I chose the latter. MS taught me a strong lesson about gratitude and being thankful, I promise you.

I am a single lady with no man to date as far as the eyes can see. My son is grown and my family lives out of state. So when Thanksgiving arrives, I tend to feel really sad and lonely. It’s a time for families to celebrate. And I’m reminded it’s just me.

I try to chalk it up as just another Thursday in a world of Thursday’s. But the season itself reminds me I am alone. Many people are alone. I get that. I can choose to wallow in self pity or I can choose to see what is all around me.

I have a home which did not flood during Hurricane Harvey. I have people who love me. I have a strong faith in Jesus. My son has grown up into an amazing man. (I raised him by myself; jus’ sayin’). I can still walk and when I can’t, I’ll buy myself a purple scooter. I’ve always wanted one anyway. And purple is my favorite color.

My point is this: being thankful and grateful are a choice. It’s not easy to be appreciative of life when all around us, our world is falling into pieces. But here’s the thing: choose to take a long hard look at all you have in your life. I am certain there is always something to be grateful for. If you feel stuck, begin a life of service to others. I did, and this one choice completely changed me for the better.

About a year ago, I became a member of the Pearland Citizens Police Academy Alumni Association. I volunteer to serve our officers and believe me, if anything will teach you to be thankful, it will be the police officers and their stories of courage and strength against all odds. These men and women leave their homes every day to keep us safe, not ever knowing if they will come home. But they do it anyway. This choice alone has made me eternally grateful for our men and women in blue.

Here’s the thing: becoming a police officer was never a choice for me, but serving them and my community are; MS was not a choice. But becoming healthier in mind and spirit was a decision I happily made. Being alone at the holidays is not my choice. But giving back to others is something I have grown to love. Not having a decent, God-fearing man to share my life with is not my choice. But believing God will one day answer my prayers, well, that truly is my choice.

And baking apple and pecan pie is not my choice either, but eating every single one in sight until I disappear into a sugar coma, well, now that’s a decision I never regret.

Until I stand on the scale…

Finding the Strength to Fight MS for the Holidays

Posted on December 16, 2015 by MSAA

By: Matt Cavallo

In September of 2010, I was faced with a devastating decision. I was experiencing severe spinal stenosis and a fractured C6 vertebra, which my doctors believed was a result of complications due to my initial onset of transverse myelitis five years earlier. My decision was to have an emergency cervical fusion to address the problem before it became more complicated. At the time, my kids were only three and one years old and I was worried that if I didn’t have the surgery I wouldn’t be able to participate in their lives the way that I wanted too.

Fast forward to December of 2010, I was out of the neck brace and going through physical therapy. I was weak, tired and had lost a lot of weight. The surgery was another in a long string of MS events that rendered me in a depressed state. I didn’t want to see friends or family and had become a shell of my former self at the house. The blinking of Christmas lights and singing of carolers was not enough to get me in the Christmas spirit.

I was working at the hospital at the time and my practice manager was throwing a holiday party. She insisted that I be there. I was feeling like Ebenezer Scrooge and issued a, “Bah Humbug” at the thought of kibitzing with my coworkers (even though they were doctors, nurses and therapists). My wife convinced me to go to the holiday party and I parked myself in a chair by the fire pit in the back yard for a couple of hours. My coworkers brought me food, drink and merriment, but I still could not find the spirit.

Was this going to be the year I gave up on Christmas? Was this the year that MS had finally won the battle?

My parents flew into town just before Christmas. My dad is a great Italian chef and the familiar aromas of my grandmother’s recipes were not enough to snap me out of my funk. His food smelled and tasted like memories of Christmas past. Now, here I am, Tiny Tim wondering how long I could feign a smile despite the depression and ill feelings MS had saddled me with this holiday season. I went to bed believing that maybe I did deserve a lump of coal in my stocking.

Then it happened.

Christmas morning 2010, two wild-eyed and blonde-haired boys rounded the steps to see the gifts that Santa had left for them. Their spirit and enthusiasm sparked a flame inside me. I knew that no matter how bad I was feeling or wanting to give up that these two boys needed me to be there in the moment with them. So I donned my Santa hat and let them sit on my lap on the floor as they ripped open the wrapped Christmas presents with delight. It was then that I realized the true meaning of Christmas was to find joy and be thankful for my many blessings despite difficult times. Regardless of what holiday you celebrate, I hope your season is filled with hope, joy and love.

Happy holidays everyone and a happy New Year, from my family to yours!

Figure 1: Matt and Colby putting together a Christmas toy 2010

*Matt Cavallo was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2005. Matt is an MS blogger, author, patient advocate, and motivational speaker. Matt also has his Master’s degree in Public Health Administration. Matt is the proud father of his two sons, loving husband to his wife, Jocelyn, and best friend to his dog, Teddy. Originally from the Boston suburbs, Matt currently resides in Arizona with his family. To learn more about Matt, please visit him at : http://mattcavallo.com/blog/

Tips for Avoiding a Post-Holiday Multiple Sclerosis Flare

Posted on January 15, 2014 by MSAA

By: Matt Cavallo

The holiday season is behind us. Packed away in the garage are all the ornamental memories of the season. Driving around the neighborhood at night no longer is decorated by blinking bright lights. And while the majority of people are resuming their day-to-day routine, those of us living with Multiple Sclerosis are unknowingly entering the danger zone.

While the holidays are a magical time of year, they also impose emotional and financial stresses upon us. Many of us are looking at our December statements wondering how we spent so much or how we are going to pay off the bills. We are probably also feeling the after effects of all those great holiday dinners and desserts.

As the stress of paying the bills or trying to lose weight begins to build, we are at a greater risk for triggering a Multiple Sclerosis Exacerbation. According to the National MS Society, “an exacerbation of MS (also known as a relapse, attack, or flare-up) causes new symptoms or the worsening of old symptoms.” A 2003 research study concluded that, “stressful events were associated with increased exacerbations in relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis.” Furthermore, according to Healthline.com, “researchers considered the four weeks following a stressful event to be a high-risk time for exacerbations.”

Considering that the holidays are a stressful event, for those of us living with MS, this stress can lead to an exacerbation. Here are some tips to help minimize the stress from the holidays:

Tips for Minimizing Post-Holiday Stress

Develop a financial plan – as the bills mount from the holidays, create a financial plan to help successfully budget your expenses. You may not be able to pay off the bills right away, but having a plan to pay off debt can help reduce stress associated with financial obligations.
Change eating habits – the holidays include a lot of emotional eating. Not only do we eat larger portion sizes during the holiday, but we also eat more desserts. Use the time after the holiday to get back on track in terms of eating healthy.
Exercise – the stress of holidays and the shorter days of winter make it easy to skip exercising. Exercising reduces stress and can help with symptom management.
Get back on schedule – the holidays force you out of your routine. The stress of getting to these holiday events or finding the energy to participate in these events can be draining for people living with Multiple Sclerosis. Getting back on your established routine can help reduce stress.
Set attainable goals – two weeks after the holidays and some of us have already broken our New Year’s resolutions. Revisit the goals that you had to start the year and make sure that the goals are attainable. Setting too high goal expectations can bring about unnecessary stress whereas goals that you can achieve could reduce stress.

As a person living with Multiple Sclerosis, understand that the stress of the holidays can leave you at a greater risk for an MS flare up. Managing that stress can help reduce the risk of an MS exacerbation. Exercising, eating right and developing a financial plan are some of the ways that you can manage stress. Following these tips and reducing stress in your life will help you avoid a post-holiday MS flare.

Resources

Embracing New Traditions When You Have MS

Posted on December 23, 2013 by MSAA

By: Matt Cavallo

Some of my favorite childhood memories stem from the holidays. On Christmas Eve, my Grandmother prepared a wonderful homemade Italian feast followed by a bonfire in the front yard where the whole neighborhood would gather to sing Christmas carols. Although the weather was never above freezing, we were warmed with a sense of unity in song accompanied by the melodic sound of my cousin’s saxophone.

When my wife and I decided that we were going to move away from my hometown in Massachusetts for a new life in Arizona, I knew that I was leaving behind those traditions that I cherished. I also knew that my boys wouldn’t have the same experience that I did growing up. I was worried that I would be depriving my children of those memories that I held so dear.

I had more pertinent factors to consider in my decision, however. My MS was progressing and I no longer wanted to fight the elements that go hand in hand with living in the Northeast. I love the colors of fall, but I no longer wanted to rake the leaves. There is something so peaceful about looking out the window and seeing the first snow falling, however, the strain of shoveling the driveway and front steps after the snowfall was no longer worth the pain. Life seemed to be becoming too physically draining to really enjoy it. I knew I was ready for a change but wasn’t sure how to start over. Would a change mean robbing my kids of childhood memories? Was I being selfish by putting my health before my family?

The first winter in Arizona was sunny, warm and free of snow. Despite the health improvements and ease of my new lifestyle, I was still missing the Christmas ritual and traditions that I grew up with. I decided that I had two choices: revel in the sadness of what I was “missing” or create new traditions to enjoy. I chose the latter.

Maybe this isn’t the case for you. Maybe you have lived in the same place your entire life, but are experiencing limitations due to your disability. Although you didn’t move, you may no longer feel that you can participate in the holiday season the way you used to. Don’t let these limitations take the joy out of the season you once loved. If this rings true for you, here are some steps to help you embrace new traditions:

Set new expectations – If your disability is affecting your ability to participate in events, try not to relive how you used to participate. Instead, create new expectations for how to enjoy the same events. For example, if you used to stand up and lead the band, pass the baton. You can still enjoy the music if you sit and listen.
Focus on the positive – It is easy to get down on yourself during this time of year remembering days before your disability. There is an old saying that I love, “Whether you think you can or you can’t, you are right!” Be positive, believe in yourself, and you will enjoy the holidays even if it is different than it used to be.
Take advantage of new technology – If you can’t be there in person, take advantage of new technology to bring you as close as possible to friends and loved ones. Skype or Google+ Hangouts are a great way to participate in an event without physically being there.
Keep your memories alive but update the tradition to fit into your current life – There are certain foods that take me right back to those old days at my Grandma’s house. Learning those recipes and recreating those dinners have been a way for me to remember the past while living in the present.
Tell your story – People around you view you as a fighter for battling your illness. Use this time of togetherness as a way to share your story, allowing the people you are closest to a better understanding of who you are today.

Four years later, our new family traditions are every bit as meaningful as my childhood memories. We have made great friends in Arizona, and we get together to form our own lasting memories for our children. Whether it is taking the kids up to Santa’s Village in Flagstaff or watching a parade of boats decorated in Christmas lights at the lake, these new traditions are every bit as meaningful as singing in my Grandma’s front yard, minus the frostbite.

In many ways, these new traditions make the holidays more meaningful to me. I have experienced a lot of loss with my MS. With that loss, I realize how precious each moment in life can be and have begun to live in the moment and enjoy it. Embracing these new traditions has taught me that this season is still the most wonderful time of the year despite having MS.

Happy Holidays everyone!

Please note, MSAA offices will be closed December 25th through December 30th. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause, and will respond to all comments and inquiries upon our return.

Why I No Longer Fear the Holidays and Why You Don’t Have to Either (Even When You Have MS)

Posted on November 22, 2013 by MSAA

By Jerri Burtchell

When I was a kid I loved this time of year. Snow on the ground, great food (except for that weird Jell-O salad Aunt Mary always made), and presents at Christmas. Things have changed since I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS) in 1999. Now a sense of foreboding overcomes me each year, right after Halloween.

I’m not the “bah-humbug!” type, but I do hail from a long line of worriers. Maybe we were meant to be “warriors”, but some genetic mutation caused a typo. Now we fear things our imaginations dream up. The “what if” syndrome. My MS diagnosis has elevated my worrying to a whole new level.

Holiday time is prime “what if?” time for me. What if I can’t navigate the busy malls and grocery stores? What if the handicapped parking is all taken up? What if I don’t have enough money to give everyone gifts? What if this fatigue keeps me from enjoying the family I rarely get to see? And the biggest one: What if all this worrying stresses me out and I end up relapsing?

One Christmas, that changed when our family shared what other families keep secret. We all admitted that gift buying was stressing us out. Not only the act of shopping, but the dent it was putting in our pocketbooks. Our name isn’t Trump or even Kardashian. We don’t have money or personal shoppers. What a relief to know we all felt the same way!

So we started something new. When we gather at Thanksgiving now, part of our tradition is drawing names for Christmas gift exchange. We’ve instantly gone from buying gifts for ten to buying for one. Stress diminished. To take it a step further, we can only spend $20. Now the stress was melting like snow in the spring.

Christmas morning is no longer spent in a flurry of mindless paper shredding as we tear through one present after another. But the only ones disappointed are the cats with less cardboard boxes to explore. We still have the experience of gifts under the tree, but now it’s a single, more thoughtful, often handmade gift.

And we quit competing with Martha Stewart for the most elaborate side dishes and desserts. Not everything has to be perfect. We’re enjoying things on our terms, not those set forth in Better Homes and Gardens.

One Christmas I got a late start putting up the decorations. It seems MS fatigue brings out the natural procrastinator in me. So imagine my panic when I went to get the fake tree from the garage only to find it was now home to a family of mice.

I took a few deep breaths and channeled MacGyver. Before you know it, a big vase was the base for my silver, spray-painted Christmas “stick” – a dead branch I’d dragged in from the yard. With a string of lights and a few baubles here and there, the problem was solved. The best part is, it was cheap, handy, and I finally made use of an idea I’d pinned on Pinterest.com.

So in freeing myself from the stress that comes with striving for perfection, the reward I got was more quality time to spend with those I love–the only gift that counts.

Life passes too quickly and before you can say, “Black Friday,” it’s all over. I can safely say I won’t be lying on my deathbed lamenting over all the bargain basement prices I missed out on. It’s the people in my life and the connections we made that will be my fondest memories.

I won’t be stressing over the perfect gift for someone this Christmas, or if I forgot to put the marshmallows on top of the sweet potato casserole…again. I’m going to be counting my blessings in each smiling face that comes through the door.

So forget what the commercials all tell you to do. When you give yourself permission to lower your expectations of perfection, miracles happen. You have lots of laughs, give lots of hugs, and take lots of pictures. Aren’t those the memories you’ll treasure most in the end?

And that gem of wisdom is my holiday gift to you. (It was handmade and cost me less than twenty bucks – Enjoy!)

References: http://www.healthline.com/health-slideshow/pictures-multiple-sclerosis-psychological-changes

*Jeri Burtchell was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 1999. She has spoken from a patient perspective at conferences around the country, addressing social media and the role it plays in designing clinical trials. Jeri is a MS blogger, patient activist, and freelance writer for the MS News Beat of Healthline.com. She lives in northeast Florida with her youngest son and elderly mother. When not writing or speaking, she enjoys crafting and photography.

Vote for your Favorite Thanksgiving Card & spread awareness about Multiple Sclerosis

Posted on November 14, 2013 by John MSAA

For the third year in a row, MSAA is conducting a Thanksgiving Card Competition! We have six online Thanksgiving Card candidates (shown below), all vying for the top spot as MSAA’s most-popular Thanksgiving Card for 2013.

Please vote and then watch to see if your favorite card will emerge victorious! Once the voting is over next week and the selections are tallied, we’ll let everyone know which card is the top choice to email to friends and family, wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving!

To vote for your favorite online card design, please visit our Thanksgiving election poll (or go to support.mymsaa.org/voteforcard).

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