Sticking to My Resolution for Better Health and MS Symptom Management

By: Matt Cavallo

I’ll admit it. The holidays were not good to my waistline. My pants are tight and hard to button, and it is uncomfortable to reach down to put on my socks and shoes. At the end of the summer, I weighed in at 190lbs. I just got off the scale and I was exactly 211 lbs. With the weight gain, my New Year’s resolution was to start exercising more and eating less.

The extra weight is a problem for me and my MS. That 21 pounds has definitely made a difference in the way I feel. At 6’2”tall I don’t look that much heavier, I feel like a completely different person. The extra weight also seems to increase weakness and tingling in my legs. Also, my energy levels have dropped and my fatigue has increased. I find myself waking up later and later to walk my dog and the walks are becoming shorter. It is already halfway through January and I am not making progress on my goals.

I was talking with my wife who told me that it takes 21 days to change a behavior. Often with resolutions, we start with the best of intentions, but don’t stick with it long enough to change our behaviors. This has been the case with my diet and exercise resolution. I started out strong for the first couple of days, but have regressed to my old ways.

However, my old ways are not good enough for me. In living with Multiple Sclerosis, it is important for me to take charge of the areas of my health that I can control, like diet and exercise. If extra weight is going to make my MS symptoms flare up, I need to fight through the fatigue and get control. To do this, I am going to create a Wellness Journal. This journal is going to track my daily exercise routine and food intake. The reason for keeping these journals is to keep myself accountable. If I keep a record of my progress everyday then I will be more likely to stick to my resolution. New Year’s doesn’t have to be the only time of year we reassess life and develop goals.

Successful Goal Setting Tips

  1. Keep goals realistic: Don’t set yourself up for failure by aiming for something that is completely unachievable.  It is best to start with a small goal and work towards bigger goals as you accomplish them.
  2. Create a plan that works for you: Figure out exactly how you can accomplish your goal and write down specific actions that you will take.
  3. Stick to your plan: Since changing a habit takes about 21 days, perform that habit every day to make it a conscious part of your day.
  4. Keep a daily journal: Write down what you do every day to hold you accountable.  This will also help you identify obstacles that may be holding you back.
  5. Don’t give up: Even if you slip up on your journey, forgive yourself and start fresh they next day.

I am also going to post my 21 day journey on my personal blog at www.mattcavallo.com/blog. By making my journey public, I am holding myself accountable to all of my readers, as well. My hope is that my story will also motivate others struggling with sticking to their New Year’s Resolutions or any goals for that matter to get back on track.

 

*Matt Cavallo was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2005. Matt is an MS blogger, author, patient advocate, and motivational speaker. Matt also has his Master’s degree in Public Health Administration. Matt is the proud father of his two sons, loving husband to his wife, Jocelyn, and best friend to his dog, Teddy. Originally from the Boston suburbs, Matt currently resides in Arizona with his family. To learn more about Matt, please visit him at : http://mattcavallo.com/blog/

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2010 – An MS Relapse for the Holidays Part Two – Recovery

By Matt Cavallo

As I sat in an infusion suite chair to treat my holiday relapse, I started to feel really sorry for myself.  I wasn’t sure what I had done to deserve this MS fate. I thought about my young boys and how unfair it was to them that their dad was having another relapse. I thought about the additional burden that this relapse was putting on my wife, having to care for two toddlers on her own.  All this was happening during the holidays, just two months after I had gone through an anterior cervical fusion. To top it off, I was experiencing these uncontrollable emotional outbursts, or PBA as my neurologist called it, which were embarrassing me to the point of not wanting to go out in public.

Then my thoughts changed. I knew at that moment that instead of feeling bad for myself that I was going to have to reach deep down and pull myself together for my wife and kids. My wife is a stay-at- home mom and I am the sole provider, so I knew that if I didn’t get my act together, our quality of life as a family was going to go downhill and fast. I needed a plan.

Steps to Recovery

  1. Be honest – During this relapse, I had convinced myself that it was every factor besides MS. I let the symptoms go on for too long and they were affecting my home and work life. I was going to have to be honest with myself and others about what I was experiencing and that it was related to my MS.
  2. Reduce additional holiday stress – The holidays add stress to an already stressful life. If I had to go food shopping or present shopping, I would go at off hours like late at night to avoid the stress of a crowd. I made lists to prioritize my tasks and would check items off the list. For a list of more ways to reduce holiday stress, check out Angel’s Holiday Hustle Blog.
  3. Gain control – When my emotions began to get the best of me, I would take a break. MS emotional outbursts can come on at any time. A good way to manage emotional outbursts is to remove yourself from the situation, take deep breaths or find a distraction. My favorite distraction is to walk my dog.
  4. Do not take on too much – I have a habit of overdoing. During the 2010 holiday relapse, I learned to enjoy the simple things. Holidays are about spending time with family and friends;try to relax and enjoy that time without overdoing it.
  5. Talk to your doctor – I waited too long to see my doctor. If you are experiencing symptoms, you should contact your doctor as soon as possible.

As the calendar turned to December in 2010, I was feeling like the worst was over. The medicine had run its course. I was feeling back to my normal self. Gone were the emotional outbursts, weakness and fatigue. I was back to normal at work and home life now returned to the joy of watching my boys. I didn’t bother with the stress of trying to compete for deals on Black Friday or hanging Christmas lights from the rafters. Instead, I realized that the true meaning of the holidays was to be there in good spirits for the ones you love. As Thanksgiving 2013 approaches, I am thankful for everyone in my life and continue to enjoy simple stress-free holidays with the ones I love.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!!!

References:

https://msaablog.wpengine.com/holiday-hustle-and-bustle-tips-for-people-living-with-multiple-sclerosis/

http://www.healthline.com/health-slideshow/pseudobulbar-affect-multiple-sclerosis

*Matt Cavallo was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2005. Matt is an MS blogger, author, patient advocate, and motivational speaker. Matt also has his Master’s degree in Public Health Administration. Matt is the proud father of his two sons, loving husband to his wife, Jocelyn, and best friend to his dog, Teddy. Originally from the Boston suburbs, Matt currently resides in Arizona with his family. To learn more about Matt, please visit him at : http://mattcavallo.com/blog/

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2010 – An MS Relapse for the Holidays Part One – Relapse

By Matt Cavallo

In November of 2010, I was still recovering from neck surgery. My neck had been a problem since 2005, when Transverse Myelitis made my spine swell up. The swelling pushed my vertebrae and discs out of alignment. Eventually, just the stress of daily activities caused a piece of vertebrae to fracture causing severe stenosis of the spine. My neurologist told me that if I didn’t consider surgery that there was a pretty good chance that I might become quadriplegic.

I worked for a Neuroscience clinic at the time and was friends with the neurologists at the clinic. I had them each independently look at my MRI films. All of them agreed with my neurologist- surgery was inevitable. I had my cervical spinal fusion surgery in early September of 2010.  In order to prepare for the surgery, I had to stop taking my MS medicine.  I was also instructed to stay off my medication after the surgery while my body was recovering.  During my recovery period, I became less concerned with getting back on my medication and continuing treatment. I had hit my breaking point, and I just didn’t feel like fighting anymore.

As the calendar approached Thanksgiving, I started to become symptomatic. I hadn’t been on any MS treatment for ninety days and was noticing increased fatigue and weakness. At the time, I attributed my symptoms to working fulltime while enrolled in a Master’s program along with raising two boys, ages three and one, who weren’t exactly allowing for a full night’s sleep.

While the weakness and fatigue were troubling, I also started experiencing uncontrollable mood swings. I would break into hysterical laughter at inappropriate times and then break down and start crying and become inconsolable. I am not a person who typically shows intense emotion, so these kinds of outbursts were completely out of character for me.

Still, I didn’t think that anything was seriously wrong with me. I thought that the lack of sleep with a teething one-year old coupled with my ongoing recovery from spinal cord surgery was why my emotions wer running rampant. Then I started forgetting tasks at work that I typically would complete automatically. I was also dragging my leg and having problems with vision in my right eye.

During the week of Thanksgiving, the clinic was slow. The nurses had become worried about me. The day before Thanksgiving, we had very few patients and my practice manager called my neurologist and got me an order for an MRI. I was resistant. I attributed my symptoms to the stress that I was experiencing at work and at home, saying that having to prepare Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow was the cherry on top of the cake. Still, she persisted and took me over to radiology at the hospital and got me a follow up appointment with my neurologist the following Monday.

My MRI studies came back with my lesions glowing like lights on a Christmas tree. I was defeated. When was MS going to let up? Now, I had to tell my wife on the day before Thanksgiving that I was having yet another relapse. However, when I talked to her about it, instead of crying, I started to laugh uncontrollably. During Thanksgiving dinner with her family, I was having emotional outbursts and crying about how beautiful the Turkey and potatoes looked. After dinner, Jocelyn talked to me and she wanted me to talk to my neurologist about my emotions, along with my other symptoms.

That following Monday, I found myself in the familiar chair of my neurologist’s office. He confirmed that I was having a relapse. He prescribed three days’ IV Solu-medrol to help with the exacerbation. I told the doctor that I was having these weird emotional outbursts and was concerned that the IV steroids would further complicate my already emotionally unstable state.

He told me that it sounded like I was having something called Pseudobulbar affect or PBA. According to a Healthline article, “Pseudobulbar affect (PBA) is a condition in which you suddenly start to laugh or cry. The reaction isn’t triggered by anything—like a funny joke or sad movie. You just burst into laughter or tears without any real cause, and you can’t stop laughing or crying.” He wanted to stay on course with the treatment because the PBA seemed to be related to my MS relapse, but to call him if I started to feel out of control.

Tune in for my next blog to find out how I was able to recover from my holiday relapse and strategies I used to gain control of my emotions and stress levels.

Reference:

http://www.healthline.com/health-slideshow/pseudobulbar-affect-multiple-sclerosis

*Matt Cavallo was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2005. Matt is an MS blogger, author, patient advocate, and motivational speaker. Matt also has his Master’s degree in Public Health Administration. Matt is the proud father of his two sons, loving husband to his wife, Jocelyn, and best friend to his dog, Teddy. Originally from the Boston suburbs, Matt currently resides in Arizona with his family. To learn more about Matt, please visit him at : http://mattcavallo.com/blog/

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The Neuropsychological Evaluation for People with Multiple Sclerosis: Part II

By Dr. Lauren Strober

For many individuals, medical testing, especially testing for cognitive changes, may cause fear or anxiety.

How scary of a process is it?  For some, undergoing cognitive testing when one has already noticed a decline is very intimidating – many fear that noticing a change is not as scary as confirming there is an actual change.  But, like anything, knowledge is best and with MS, knowledge is the best way to tackle a variable, unpredictable disease.  Moreover, more often than not, individuals find that they are doing better than they think and that although there are some weaknesses, they also still have their strengths. Again, knowledge is power.

As far as the process itself, a full neuropsychological evaluation can last anywhere from three to five hours and is typically divided over a few days.  Cognitive testing can be extremely tiring and that is not just specific to MS.  Many patients report needing a nap after!  But, most neuropsychologists are aware of this and will offer breaks and other accommodations to make the experience as painless as possible. After the evaluation is completed, you will receive written and verbal feedback as to how you did and what the recommendations are based on your individual cognitive profile. Such feedback and knowledge of one’s abilities and difficulties can be very empowering and assist individuals with taking the right steps in assuring that they can tackle their MS and its symptoms head on!

If you feel that you can benefit from cognitive testing and/or are noticing changes in your thinking, do reach out to your neurologist or a neuropsychologist in your area today.

*Dr. Lauren Strober is a board-eligible clinical neuropsychologist with over a decade of clinical and research experience in MS.  She is a Research Scientist at the Kessler Foundation and presently holds a National Institutes of Health (NIH) grant examining the factors most associated with employment status in MS.

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The Neuropsychological Evaluation: Allaying Your Fears and Recognizing its Value for the MS Community Part I

By Dr. Lauren Strober

Many individuals with multiple sclerosis (MS) will begin to notice the subtle cognitive changes typically associated with MS.  Individuals may report being more forgetful, unable to multitask as well as they used to, or feeling as if their thinking is slowed down.  Some may say, “I feel as if I am just not functioning on all four cylinders.”  They would be right. In fact, anywhere from 43% to 70% of individuals with MS suffer from some degree of cognitive dysfunction.  Most often, it is slowed thinking or problems with memory that are most noticeable and known to have the greatest effect on day-to-day functioning – this can be anything from preparing a meal for the family, doing everyday tasks, or even successfully doing one’s work.

When cognitive symptoms begin to interfere with such tasks and one’s overall quality of life, it is best to consider speaking to your neurologist about undergoing a neuropsychological evaluation.  A comprehensive neuropsychological evaluation consists of a battery of cognitive tests assessing language, attention, verbal and visual memory, processing speed/working memory, and executive functions (e.g., planning, organization, reasoning) as well as a full psychological evaluation assessing things like mood, anxiety, sleep, and fatigue.  These latter factors are known to also play a large role in cognition and are, fortunately, reversible with effective treatment.  For instance, while slowed thinking is common in MS, consistent poor sleep or depression can also lead to cognitive disturbances during the day and further compound existing cognitive disturbances. Thus, proper identification of one’s current cognitive abilities as well as factors that can affect cognition (such as poor sleep) is the first step in taking appropriate steps in managing any cognitive changes associated with MS.

So, when is a neuropsychological evaluation right for you? Again, if you are noticing changes and feeling that they are beginning to impact your daily functioning and quality of life, you should consider having a neuropsychological evaluation.  This is particularly important if you are employed and/or are a student and can benefit from some recommendations and strategies as to how best maintain your job or schooling, while working to your strengths and minimizing reliance on your weaknesses. Formal documentation of such cognitive difficulties can also assist with obtaining appropriate accommodations at work or school.  Finally, some recommend completing a brief neuropsychological battery such as the Minimal Assessment of Cognitive Functioning in Multiple Sclerosis (MACFIMS) at the onset of one’s illness so that there is a baseline to which patients can better monitor the progression of their illness and cognitive changes associated with such.

If you think neuropsychological testing might be helpful for you, stay tuned for PART II on Wednesday to learn more.

Dr. Lauren Strober is a board-eligible clinical neuropsychologist with over a decade of clinical and research experience in MS.  She is a Research Scientist at the Kessler Foundation and presently holds a National Institutes of Health (NIH) grant examining the factors most associated with employment status in MS.

 

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Losing My Mind Part Two: Overcoming an MS Cognitive Relapse

By Matt Cavallo

In my last bog, I was in the throes of severe MS cognitive relapse. My short term memory was shot. My word association was gone. Everyday situations confused me. I was a danger to myself and those around me and yet I couldn’t comprehend that something was wrong with me. It took an intervention by my wife, Jocelyn, to get me to schedule a neurologist appointment.

The neurologist immediately sent me for MRI studies. Fitting for the holiday season, the contrast dye administered during the studies lit up the active brain lesions on my films like a Christmas tree. It was recommended that I started a course of treatment immediately.

I found myself isolated in an infusion clinic, depressed that MS had caught up to me again. I was scared. This relapse had affected my ability to work. I had missed time with my mobility and vision relapses, so I was afraid that this would be the final straw at my company. I couldn’t afford to lose my job, not around the holidays. Not because of MS. I also needed to get my mind back. In order to do so, I needed a plan. Here is what I did:

  1. Get a doctor’s note: I had my neurologist write a letter to my boss explaining my limitations. I also had the doctor talk with my wife to help convey my situation.
  2. Meet with your boss: I dropped the letter off at the office and had an honest conversation with him about my relapse.
  3. Create task lists: I got a notebook and listed the things I needed to do each day. I would cross things off the lists as I accomplished them.
  4. Leave sticky notes: I put sticky notes around the house that said “TURN OFF”, “CLOSE ME” or “FLUSH”.
  5. Keep your mind active: I found that reading, writing, crossword puzzles, Sudoku’s or any kind of thinking activities helped with my word association, recollection and memory.

It was early January 2007 and I was two months past my cognitive relapse. Things were becoming crystal clear again in my mind. I was back at work and benefited from a slow holiday season. My boss made accommodations for me and kept me on light duty until I was able to perform all the tasks of my fulltime job. I had made some delicious holiday meals without burning down the house and was able to have an intelligible conversation.

Jocelyn comes home from work, smiles and says, “I’m pregnant!” She grabs me and hugs me in the joy of all we had to overcome to conceive. I knew then that I was going to have to work harder than ever because I never knew when MS was going to strike again. So I set goals for myself that I wanted to accomplish and set out to accomplish them, despite the cognitive issues.

I dusted off an incomplete first draft of my memoir and spent hour after hour writing the story of my MS. My wife and I worked on it together. The writing and the conversations I felt helped rebuild my cognition and my mind was coming back with each page I wrote. Finally, the goal of being published happened in June of 2012 on my seventh anniversary of my MS diagnosis.

During that same month, I graduated with my Master’s in Public Health Administration. I had returned back to school to better understand the health care system to help make a difference in the lives of patients like me. I graduated with a 3.98 GPA, which was the highest in the program.

To realize these goals despite the challenges I’ve experienced with MS is incredibly meaningful. I cannot control what MS does to me, but I can do the best I can with what I’ve got. With my Master’s degree and published memoir, I have accomplished things that I never intended on doing prior to MS. Whatever your goals are if you set your mind to it you will be surprised at the results. If I can do it, you can too!

*Matt Cavallo was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2005. Matt is an MS blogger, author, patient advocate, and motivational speaker. Matt also has his Master’s degree in Public Health Administration. Matt is the proud father of his two sons, loving husband to his wife, Jocelyn, and best friend to his dog, Teddy. Originally from the Boston suburbs, Matt currently resides in Arizona with his family. To learn more about Matt, please visit him at : http://mattcavallo.com/blog/

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Losing My Mind, Part One: Experiencing an MS Cognitive Relapse

By Matt Cavallo

Back in October of 2006, I was feeling like I had MS beat. My mobility was seemingly back to normal after losing function the previous year due to an acute onset of Transverse Myelitis. It had also been eight months since a bout of Optic Neuritis had claimed the vision in my right eye. Since then, all symptoms had resolved and I was living a normal, symptom free life. Little did I know that I was about to be thrown into the depths of my scariest relapse, losing my mind.

As the calendar approached the holiday season, I started forgetting things. It was simple things at first, like leaving my keys, wallet and phone on the counter as I walked out of the house for work and locking the front door behind me. While everyone shares these experiences, mine were scary because of the lack of cognitive association. I would look at my keys, wallet and phone on the counter, but couldn’t draw the association in my mind that I needed those things to get to work.

On several occasions, I knocked on my neighbor’s door to use their phone to call Jocelyn at work so she could come home and unlock the door for me. Luckily she worked only a mile away, so she was always able to save me. Even though she was having to save me from situations like this more and more often, I didn’t think I was having a problem.

Next my word association started to fail. I would say things like, “Jocelyn did you put the laundry in the dishwasher?” I would look at a common item like a refrigerator and was unable to call it by name. Instead I would say things like, “you know that thing that keeps food cold.” I was also repeating myself over and over. I remember going out to dinner with another couple and asked ten times in ten minutes whether my friend, John, had heard that our mutual friend, Marc, had his baby. My friend John was getting visibly irritated with me, but I was unaware that I had just repeated myself ten times. Jocelyn spoke up to say that I was having one of my MS episodes.

Still, I didn’t think anything was wrong. I didn’t realize that my work was suffering. I was missing deadlines and turning in incoherent reports. My friends and family were concerned because I couldn’t have a regular conversation. It was like I was there in the room with them, but my mind was locked inside my head and my thoughts couldn’t come out.

Then my cognition started to become dangerous. I love to cook, but I was starting meals and forgetting that I left the oven or stove on. There was one time when I was boiling chicken to make soup, left the house and came back later to have the entire house filled with smoke and the smoke alarm blaring. It was this time when Jocelyn confronted me by saying that I needed help before I hurt myself or others.

This hit me hard. Up until this point, MS had affected me physically but I wasn’t ready to cope with a cognitive loss. I also was not able to comprehend the magnitude of what this relapse was doing to my work and personal relationships or how my inability to process things was putting me in harm’s way. When my wife intervened and told me that I needed help, I didn’t want to believe her. I said that I felt fine and while I was a little forgetful, I was still in control of my faculties. She then pointed out that I almost burned the house down while making soup.

As Jocelyn told me about all my symptoms, I broke down. I realized that I was having another MS relapse, only this time I was losing my mind. If I didn’t see my neurologist, I was liable to lose my job, my friends and possibly hurt myself or others. This was a reality I didn’t want to face. This relapse was by far the scariest because I wasn’t fully aware that it was going on and there were no visual signs of disability. I agreed with Jocelyn and set an appointment for the next available time with the neurologist.

Tune in on October 16 for my next blog about how I was able to cope with and overcome this devastating cognitive relapse.

*Matt Cavallo was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2005. Matt is an MS blogger, author, patient advocate, and motivational speaker. Matt also has his Master’s degree in Public Health Administration. Matt is the proud father of his two sons, loving husband to his wife, Jocelyn, and best friend to his dog, Teddy. Originally from the Boston suburbs, Matt currently resides in Arizona with his family. To learn more about Matt, please visit him at : http://mattcavallo.com/blog/

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Follow the Yellow Brick Road: Planning Ahead When You Have MS

Have you seen the car commercial recently where someone says something along the lines of, “we have to do something about this car”, and the little yellow line pops up and guides them to where they need to be? Wouldn’t that be wonderful, if for every problem in life that we encountered, a little yellow line helped guide us to the right choice?

Although there are no yellow brick roads guiding our way, we do have a chance to prepare ourselves for our future. I have always held true the saying, “hope for the best, plan for the worst.” Although I may be called a cynic for thinking this way, I always feel it is best to have a plan in case things don’t work out the way they were expected.

For individuals faced with a chronic illness such as MS, keeping on track and following the plan are two very important steps. From the very first doctor’s appointment a plan is created; what medications to take, what testing to have completed. It becomes part of a routine. But what happens when that plan falls apart? Maybe you need to switch medications, or you are unable to continue working. You may find yourself asking, “now what’s the plan?”

Having the next step in mind is a way to try and avoid the panic that may set in when life throws you a curve ball. To help keep on track with your MS, it is important to work with your doctor not just about the present MS challenges, but also consider planning for the future. Creating a plan about who to call and what to do if you feel as though you are having a relapse may make the experience feel a little more in your control.

Also, having discussions with family regarding long term plans and making small changes that may assist down the road can lead to less confusion and uncertainty in the future. Perhaps you’ve thought about moving to a more centralized location with more resources, or downsizing to a smaller more accessible home. For some people, these are important considerations for their future plan. What plans have you created or thought of for yourself? Looking back at your life, do you see any areas where you wish you had made a plan?

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Managing Multiple Sclerosis: How an MS Diagnosis Affects More Than Just the Patient

 

By Gayle Lewis, Ph.D.

When thinking about the idea of “managing MS,” more than likely you immediately think about the patient and how he/she is dealing with, incorporating, accommodating to, accepting, grieving…and having many other reactive and thoughtful coping styles for getting used to being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Certainly in my work, this is something that I focus on regularly with my patients: how to help them manage their MS. Whatever that might mean for the individual.

But managing MS is NOT JUST ABOUT THE PATIENT. It is simultaneously about the microsystem surrounding the patient, including partners and other family members. We can consider that “managing MS” needs to be looked at more globally, relationally and more systemically than just individually. That the trauma of MS diagnosis has many fingers of whom is affected and therefore who has to manage it.

My work more often than not involves discussions about my patients’ respective relationships with the people in their lives, particularly if a partner is involved and always when there is no partner, but the wish for one remains. Many relational areas get covered in sessions, but thematically, I hear over and over again the feeling of or actual act of being rejected; the reasons given are either directly stated to be because of the patient’s MS or indirectly communicated that MS has interfered so substantially in the relationship, the situation is no longer viable. Then there are the rejections that occur in which the partner/family member/friend remains as a figure in the patient’s life, but creates enormous distance between themselves and the patient, with the space between them being filled with uncertainty, anger, resentment, loss, sadness, disconnection and the like…feelings felt by both patient and their “people.”

And while I absolutely empathize with patients who feel rejected/are rejected by their “people,” I also have great empathy for the “people,” who are the ones patients rely on, who become the caretakers, who are tasked with increased responsibilities they may not be prepared for nor wished for when they got involved with said-patient. They didn’t sign up for this! Managing MS is NOT just about the patient, as I said. I work with people whose partners have had very strong reactions after a diagnosis of MS was given: some may reduce or stop sexual intimacy; or become increasingly snappish and intolerant when the patient struggles to do tasks at home that were previously rote and done with little effort, like removing dishes from the dinner table and bringing them to the sink; increasingly spending more time out of the house and away from the relationship, finding the patient’s symptoms too difficult to tolerate and too frustrating to face regularly; in some cases a partner may even leave the patient after diagnosis never to be seen from or heard from again. In one case a partner telling the patient that he needed to break up because he could not deal with her MS, even though she was asymptomatic and, in a meeting with the doctor (requested by this boyfriend), the doctor presented a very optimistic picture of the patient’s likely path with her MS. That boyfriend apparently did not want to pay attention. He was mostly concerned that the patient would end up in a wheelchair and he would have to take care of her, which he did not want to do anytime soon.

In all of these examples people are reacting to a situation (MS diagnosis and its sequelae) in ways that speak to how awful and traumatized they are feeling about what is going on. These are not the only examples I have; there are ones in which partners step up, learn about MS, specifically their partner’s MS, where they are supportive in loving, generous ways, when they actively participate in their partner’s treatments and step into not out of what is happening. But even those “angels” have to face and deal with the trauma of being with someone with a progressive, chronic illness. No one is immune from the impact of that. I frequently see or hear about relational pathology as couples/family members adapt to an MS diagnosis. But, I also see that many of the partners or family members willingly participate in treatment or get their own treatment or even join a group with others who have a person in their life with MS and are having difficulty managing what the diagnosis means to them.  All of these latter tactics can be very constructive…and all are a process, as is managing MS…it IS a process that is evolving and ever-changing and one that needs to be open to the idea that it’s NOT JUST ABOUT THE PATIENT.

*Gayle Lewis, Ph.D. is a psychologist and psychoanalyst in private practice in New York City, Associate Clinical Professor, Department of Neurology, at NYU’s Langone Medical Center, and Staff Psychologist at Juilliard’s Counseling Center. Additionally she is a graduate of both the American Institute for Psychoanalysis and the EDCAS program at the William Alanson White Institute. She specializes in the treatment of trauma, eating disorders and individuals with Multiple Sclerosis. See www.drgaylelewis.com

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Preparing for the Change of Seasons

By Matt Cavallo

Many of us living with Multiple Sclerosis welcome the change of seasons. Gone are the dog days of summer and the pseudo-exacerbations (brief flare-up) associated with heat. While the heat is no longer a factor, the change of seasons can present other challenges to those of us living with MS. In a speech to the University of Lille (7 December 1854), Louis Pasteur said one of my favorite quotes, “Chance favors the prepared mind.” The following self-management techniques will help you prepare for the challenges that the change of season present for those of us living with MS:

Self-Management Tips for Change of Season Issues

1. Eating healthy: Fall and Winter are associated with a lot of festive eating. Halloween candy, Thanksgiving dinner and all the holiday parties, provide lots of yummy food and treats but also provide many opportunities for us to overeat. Some ways to keep your diet in check:

  • Eat three meals a day. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Skipping breakfast may lead to overeating later.
  • Eat smaller, more frequent meals to keep your energy up.
  • Avoid large portions and desserts that can increase fatigue.
  • Keep a food diary and write down everything you are eating to stay on track and keep you accountable for healthy choices.
  • Drink plenty of water.  Dehydration can be confused with hunger.

2.  Preventing falls: Rain and snow in fall and winter can lead to an increased risk of falls.

  • Safeguard your entrance and exits with mats to absorb moisture.
  • Wear appropriate shoes with proper treads to provide more grip on slippery floors and sidewalks.
  • Stock up on the supplies you need to weather any storm that hits, so that you don’t have to run out during a storm.

3. Exercise: Cooler months can mean less opportunities for outdoor activities, leaving some less active.

  • Find ways to fit in exercise despite the weather.
  • Work out indoors at a local gym or in your own living room with exercise DVDs.
  • Many local gyms, like the YMCA, have indoor pools. Aquatic exercise is good for those with limited mobility.
  • You can also use swimming to raise awareness for MS through the MSAA’s Swim for MS program.
  • Mall walking is a good way to get in exercise on a rainy day.
  • The key is to keep moving!

4. Managing stress: Fall and winter months can increase stress from increased holiday parties, financial expenses and family obligations.

  • Don’t overextend yourself.
  • Set a realistic plan for what you can commit to and stick to it.
  • Take time for yourself to relax and decompress.
  • Exercise and eating healthy will play a vital role in helping to keep your stress levels at a minimum.

Each season can bring a unique set of challenges for persons with disabilities, but preparation and knowledge of self-management skills will help you anticipate and overcome those challenges to enjoy the best of what the season has to offer.

*Matt Cavallo was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2005. Matt is an MS blogger, author, patient advocate, and motivational speaker. Matt also has his Master’s degree in Public Health Administration. Matt is the proud father of his two sons, loving husband to his wife, Jocelyn, and best friend to his dog, Teddy. Originally from the Boston suburbs, Matt currently resides in Arizona with his family. To learn more about Matt, please visit him at : http://mattcavallo.com/blog

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