With the arrival of November, we’re coming to that point in the year where we have ample opportunity to show kindness and gratitude towards others. Yes, there’s no question that this should be done all year round. But the holiday season evokes this notion even more so and individuals really embrace the concept of gratitude.
Honestly, sometimes it’s hard to be grateful. When life feels like its constantly pouring down on you or pelting lemons at your head, it’s a bit challenging to find things to be grateful for. This is normal. It’s only human to feel Continue reading →
In talking about relationships this month on the blog it’s impossible not to think of the bonds I have with the people in my life and how impactful they are in shaping who I am, and in turn, what I am to others. Sometimes we don’t realize how much we’re touched and influenced by other people. But all it can take is just one conversation, one tiny fraction of an entire day to make an impression on someone else. I had an occasion recently that I wasn’t really feeling up to celebrating much. My husband on the other hand, was very happy and wanted to share his elation; he has a special knack for being positive and optimistic. His exact words were “someone has to be excited for you.” The sentiment didn’t resonate in that precise moment but afterwards it was all I could think about. That this man knew that I wasn’t able to feel joy in that particular moment but still wanted to mark the occasion and celebrate for me. That is a remarkable relationship trait.
There are going to be times when a day is gloomy, a mood is sour, or chaos arises. It’s a roll of the dice sometimes in how a day will play out — but what matters is who is there with you at the end of that day, being your cheerleader and light in the darkness. It’s difficult trying to be happy and positive 24/7, we’re only human; it’s part of our wiring to experience other moods and emotions. But if you have or can find that other person who can champion for you when you can’t for yourself, find gratitude in that because it’s a truly special trait. Being your own champion is of course ideal, but in those moments where this isn’t possible, having that piece in your relationship with someone else is truly significant.
Unfortunately many people experience toxic relationships that are one-sided and selfish where the other person wouldn’t think to imitate this selfless behavior. That is why self-love and self-respect are necessary in your pursuit of finding relationships that will help foster encouraging aspects and positively influence you. You deserve to be loved and supported and knowing this makes all the difference in what you want or are looking for in others. Being that hopeful light for someone else and having them be the same for you when needed signifies a healthy bond; and a relationship where one person can be excited for the other if and when they can’t be for themselves.
“Optimism is like a muscle. Gets stronger with use.”-Robin Roberts
Taking an optimistic view rather than focusing on negative thoughts can benefit your overall mental well-being. While it might take some time, eventually you may find that thinking positively starts to come more naturally. Consider putting some of the following tips into practice.
List five things that you are grateful for right now. Let this practice become a part of your daily or weekly routine. It may be helpful to hang your list in a spot where you may come across it often, so that you can take a moment to think about what you are grateful for.
Live in the present. Too much focus on future and past events can distract our minds from what is important today. Meditation and yoga can help in centering the mind and body, allowing you to identify with yourself in the present moment.
Surround yourself with positive people. Positive thought patterns are contagious, so surround yourself with people who make you happy and are optimistic.
Positive thinking and optimism does not come overnight, and you do not need to be a positive perfectionist. It may be challenging to try and find the positive in every aspect of your life – health, finances, relationships, and/or work. Focusing in one area will aid in building the skills to transfer into the other areas of your life.