2010 – An MS Relapse for the Holidays Part Two – Recovery

Posted on November 15, 2013 by MSAA

By Matt Cavallo

As I sat in an infusion suite chair to treat my holiday relapse, I started to feel really sorry for myself. I wasn’t sure what I had done to deserve this MS fate. I thought about my young boys and how unfair it was to them that their dad was having another relapse. I thought about the additional burden that this relapse was putting on my wife, having to care for two toddlers on her own. All this was happening during the holidays, just two months after I had gone through an anterior cervical fusion. To top it off, I was experiencing these uncontrollable emotional outbursts, or PBA as my neurologist called it, which were embarrassing me to the point of not wanting to go out in public.

Then my thoughts changed. I knew at that moment that instead of feeling bad for myself that I was going to have to reach deep down and pull myself together for my wife and kids. My wife is a stay-at- home mom and I am the sole provider, so I knew that if I didn’t get my act together, our quality of life as a family was going to go downhill and fast. I needed a plan.

Steps to Recovery

Be honest – During this relapse, I had convinced myself that it was every factor besides MS. I let the symptoms go on for too long and they were affecting my home and work life. I was going to have to be honest with myself and others about what I was experiencing and that it was related to my MS.
Reduce additional holiday stress – The holidays add stress to an already stressful life. If I had to go food shopping or present shopping, I would go at off hours like late at night to avoid the stress of a crowd. I made lists to prioritize my tasks and would check items off the list. For a list of more ways to reduce holiday stress, check out Angel’s Holiday Hustle Blog.
Gain control – When my emotions began to get the best of me, I would take a break. MS emotional outbursts can come on at any time. A good way to manage emotional outbursts is to remove yourself from the situation, take deep breaths or find a distraction. My favorite distraction is to walk my dog.
Do not take on too much – I have a habit of overdoing. During the 2010 holiday relapse, I learned to enjoy the simple things. Holidays are about spending time with family and friends;try to relax and enjoy that time without overdoing it.
Talk to your doctor – I waited too long to see my doctor. If you are experiencing symptoms, you should contact your doctor as soon as possible.

As the calendar turned to December in 2010, I was feeling like the worst was over. The medicine had run its course. I was feeling back to my normal self. Gone were the emotional outbursts, weakness and fatigue. I was back to normal at work and home life now returned to the joy of watching my boys. I didn’t bother with the stress of trying to compete for deals on Black Friday or hanging Christmas lights from the rafters. Instead, I realized that the true meaning of the holidays was to be there in good spirits for the ones you love. As Thanksgiving 2013 approaches, I am thankful for everyone in my life and continue to enjoy simple stress-free holidays with the ones I love.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!!!

References:

https://msaablog.wpengine.com/holiday-hustle-and-bustle-tips-for-people-living-with-multiple-sclerosis/

http://www.healthline.com/health-slideshow/pseudobulbar-affect-multiple-sclerosis

*Matt Cavallo was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2005. Matt is an MS blogger, author, patient advocate, and motivational speaker. Matt also has his Master’s degree in Public Health Administration. Matt is the proud father of his two sons, loving husband to his wife, Jocelyn, and best friend to his dog, Teddy. Originally from the Boston suburbs, Matt currently resides in Arizona with his family. To learn more about Matt, please visit him at : http://mattcavallo.com/blog/

2010 – An MS Relapse for the Holidays Part One – Relapse

Posted on November 13, 2013 by MSAA

By Matt Cavallo

In November of 2010, I was still recovering from neck surgery. My neck had been a problem since 2005, when Transverse Myelitis made my spine swell up. The swelling pushed my vertebrae and discs out of alignment. Eventually, just the stress of daily activities caused a piece of vertebrae to fracture causing severe stenosis of the spine. My neurologist told me that if I didn’t consider surgery that there was a pretty good chance that I might become quadriplegic.

I worked for a Neuroscience clinic at the time and was friends with the neurologists at the clinic. I had them each independently look at my MRI films. All of them agreed with my neurologist- surgery was inevitable. I had my cervical spinal fusion surgery in early September of 2010. In order to prepare for the surgery, I had to stop taking my MS medicine. I was also instructed to stay off my medication after the surgery while my body was recovering. During my recovery period, I became less concerned with getting back on my medication and continuing treatment. I had hit my breaking point, and I just didn’t feel like fighting anymore.

As the calendar approached Thanksgiving, I started to become symptomatic. I hadn’t been on any MS treatment for ninety days and was noticing increased fatigue and weakness. At the time, I attributed my symptoms to working fulltime while enrolled in a Master’s program along with raising two boys, ages three and one, who weren’t exactly allowing for a full night’s sleep.

While the weakness and fatigue were troubling, I also started experiencing uncontrollable mood swings. I would break into hysterical laughter at inappropriate times and then break down and start crying and become inconsolable. I am not a person who typically shows intense emotion, so these kinds of outbursts were completely out of character for me.

Still, I didn’t think that anything was seriously wrong with me. I thought that the lack of sleep with a teething one-year old coupled with my ongoing recovery from spinal cord surgery was why my emotions wer running rampant. Then I started forgetting tasks at work that I typically would complete automatically. I was also dragging my leg and having problems with vision in my right eye.

During the week of Thanksgiving, the clinic was slow. The nurses had become worried about me. The day before Thanksgiving, we had very few patients and my practice manager called my neurologist and got me an order for an MRI. I was resistant. I attributed my symptoms to the stress that I was experiencing at work and at home, saying that having to prepare Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow was the cherry on top of the cake. Still, she persisted and took me over to radiology at the hospital and got me a follow up appointment with my neurologist the following Monday.

My MRI studies came back with my lesions glowing like lights on a Christmas tree. I was defeated. When was MS going to let up? Now, I had to tell my wife on the day before Thanksgiving that I was having yet another relapse. However, when I talked to her about it, instead of crying, I started to laugh uncontrollably. During Thanksgiving dinner with her family, I was having emotional outbursts and crying about how beautiful the Turkey and potatoes looked. After dinner, Jocelyn talked to me and she wanted me to talk to my neurologist about my emotions, along with my other symptoms.

That following Monday, I found myself in the familiar chair of my neurologist’s office. He confirmed that I was having a relapse. He prescribed three days’ IV Solu-medrol to help with the exacerbation. I told the doctor that I was having these weird emotional outbursts and was concerned that the IV steroids would further complicate my already emotionally unstable state.

He told me that it sounded like I was having something called Pseudobulbar affect or PBA. According to a Healthline article, “Pseudobulbar affect (PBA) is a condition in which you suddenly start to laugh or cry. The reaction isn’t triggered by anything—like a funny joke or sad movie. You just burst into laughter or tears without any real cause, and you can’t stop laughing or crying.” He wanted to stay on course with the treatment because the PBA seemed to be related to my MS relapse, but to call him if I started to feel out of control.

Tune in for my next blog to find out how I was able to recover from my holiday relapse and strategies I used to gain control of my emotions and stress levels.

Reference:

http://www.healthline.com/health-slideshow/pseudobulbar-affect-multiple-sclerosis

Holiday Hustle and Bustle: Tips for People Living with Multiple Sclerosis

Posted on November 8, 2013 by Angel Blair

The holiday season is upon us! As Halloween has come and gone, we find ourselves faced with the upcoming months of holiday preparations. Cooking, baking, shopping, wrapping, and family visits are just some of the tasks individuals embark upon during this busy time. Because the holidays can be a bit hectic, it’s helpful to make preparations and plans to combat the chaos that can ensue during this festive time. To make time for activities you enjoy and to reduce the stress and anxiety we all know can occur during the holidays, here are some ways to make the holiday celebrations more manageable:

Prioritize your tasks. Make a list of things you would like to accomplish, and order them in a way so that important things get done first.
Take breaks. The holidays can be both mentally and physically stressful on the body. Be sure to sit and relax in between tasks, even if just for a few moments.
Think “Potluck!” If you’re hosting the holidays at your residence, have guests bring something. They can bring their favorite dish or dessert to help contribute.
Ask for help. You can ask family members/friends to go shopping, clean, or help with food preparations for the holiday meal to lessen your work load.
Prepare in advance. Some meal preparations can be done ahead of time for a holiday gathering. The week of the holiday, spread out tasks that can be completed beforehand so that on the day of there’s less to do.
Relax and Enjoy! Even though the holidays can be stressful, be sure to take time out to enjoy the festivities and spend quality time with those you care for!

What are some ways you prepare for the holidays?

The Neuropsychological Evaluation for People with Multiple Sclerosis: Part II

Posted on October 30, 2013 by MSAA

By Dr. Lauren Strober

For many individuals, medical testing, especially testing for cognitive changes, may cause fear or anxiety.

How scary of a process is it? For some, undergoing cognitive testing when one has already noticed a decline is very intimidating – many fear that noticing a change is not as scary as confirming there is an actual change. But, like anything, knowledge is best and with MS, knowledge is the best way to tackle a variable, unpredictable disease. Moreover, more often than not, individuals find that they are doing better than they think and that although there are some weaknesses, they also still have their strengths. Again, knowledge is power.

As far as the process itself, a full neuropsychological evaluation can last anywhere from three to five hours and is typically divided over a few days. Cognitive testing can be extremely tiring and that is not just specific to MS. Many patients report needing a nap after! But, most neuropsychologists are aware of this and will offer breaks and other accommodations to make the experience as painless as possible. After the evaluation is completed, you will receive written and verbal feedback as to how you did and what the recommendations are based on your individual cognitive profile. Such feedback and knowledge of one’s abilities and difficulties can be very empowering and assist individuals with taking the right steps in assuring that they can tackle their MS and its symptoms head on!

If you feel that you can benefit from cognitive testing and/or are noticing changes in your thinking, do reach out to your neurologist or a neuropsychologist in your area today.

*Dr. Lauren Strober is a board-eligible clinical neuropsychologist with over a decade of clinical and research experience in MS. She is a Research Scientist at the Kessler Foundation and presently holds a National Institutes of Health (NIH) grant examining the factors most associated with employment status in MS.

The Neuropsychological Evaluation: Allaying Your Fears and Recognizing its Value for the MS Community Part I

Posted on October 28, 2013 by MSAA

By Dr. Lauren Strober

Many individuals with multiple sclerosis (MS) will begin to notice the subtle cognitive changes typically associated with MS. Individuals may report being more forgetful, unable to multitask as well as they used to, or feeling as if their thinking is slowed down. Some may say, “I feel as if I am just not functioning on all four cylinders.” They would be right. In fact, anywhere from 43% to 70% of individuals with MS suffer from some degree of cognitive dysfunction. Most often, it is slowed thinking or problems with memory that are most noticeable and known to have the greatest effect on day-to-day functioning – this can be anything from preparing a meal for the family, doing everyday tasks, or even successfully doing one’s work.

When cognitive symptoms begin to interfere with such tasks and one’s overall quality of life, it is best to consider speaking to your neurologist about undergoing a neuropsychological evaluation. A comprehensive neuropsychological evaluation consists of a battery of cognitive tests assessing language, attention, verbal and visual memory, processing speed/working memory, and executive functions (e.g., planning, organization, reasoning) as well as a full psychological evaluation assessing things like mood, anxiety, sleep, and fatigue. These latter factors are known to also play a large role in cognition and are, fortunately, reversible with effective treatment. For instance, while slowed thinking is common in MS, consistent poor sleep or depression can also lead to cognitive disturbances during the day and further compound existing cognitive disturbances. Thus, proper identification of one’s current cognitive abilities as well as factors that can affect cognition (such as poor sleep) is the first step in taking appropriate steps in managing any cognitive changes associated with MS.

So, when is a neuropsychological evaluation right for you? Again, if you are noticing changes and feeling that they are beginning to impact your daily functioning and quality of life, you should consider having a neuropsychological evaluation. This is particularly important if you are employed and/or are a student and can benefit from some recommendations and strategies as to how best maintain your job or schooling, while working to your strengths and minimizing reliance on your weaknesses. Formal documentation of such cognitive difficulties can also assist with obtaining appropriate accommodations at work or school. Finally, some recommend completing a brief neuropsychological battery such as the Minimal Assessment of Cognitive Functioning in Multiple Sclerosis (MACFIMS) at the onset of one’s illness so that there is a baseline to which patients can better monitor the progression of their illness and cognitive changes associated with such.

If you think neuropsychological testing might be helpful for you, stay tuned for PART II on Wednesday to learn more.

Dr. Lauren Strober is a board-eligible clinical neuropsychologist with over a decade of clinical and research experience in MS. She is a Research Scientist at the Kessler Foundation and presently holds a National Institutes of Health (NIH) grant examining the factors most associated with employment status in MS.

Working for the Multiple Sclerosis Association of America

Posted on October 23, 2013 by MSAA

By Becky Remington

Greetings from the South Central Region. Last week, I attended a patient education program in Bentonville Arkansas, and as always, I feel like I have the most wonderful job in the world. One of the perks of my job is meeting amazing, warm, and caring people. Some of these people have MS, some of them are family members and spouses, and some of them come to the programs with their best friend, who just happens to have MS. And many times, as was the case this time, complete strangers sit together, start talking, share a meal together, talk some more, and exchange phone numbers or email addresses before the end of the presentation.

Last week’s talk was on Managing Stress and Anxiety. The speaker, a psychologist from Dallas TX, was excellent, giving a lot of practical advice and tips to those that attended. I have no doubt some of his stress relieving exercises will find their way in to people’s lives and make a difference in helping to keep some MS symptoms at bay. But I also know that those who made new friends left with something even more valuable.

Becky Remington is MSAA’s South-Central Regional Director

Keeping Track of your MS

Posted on October 21, 2013 by Ashley

I thought I would share a “tip” on how I keep track of my MS – so I’m able to recall things when needed or share information with other members of my health care team (who are not my neurologist).

So here is what I’ve done. I went and bought a HUGE binder… and I requested all my Medical Records… Personally, I had to get medical records from my diagnosing neurologist (general neurologist) and my MS Specialist neurologist. But I also got my records from all my other doctors.

I find this a lot easier when I need to recall past treatment… while I can sit here and name off MS treatments I’ve taken, I can’t always recall the dates in which I was on certain medications and/or received a specific treatment for something.

My medical records binder also includes my MRI reports. I also requested my MRI reports from the radiology clinic, because I’ve found that when I have a followup appointment, and I have the records on hand… it’s easier to go over with my neurologist… especially since results can take some time to be sent.

Now let me say that this is a work in progress… because I’m always getting more medical records… I usually collect them after I have a “change” in my health… or every 6 months.

I also take the time to place my records in order by date. So it’s kind of like a binder timeline of my MS…

I’m currently working on getting dividers for the binder. While I like things in order by date, I thought it would be beneficial to categorize things further, for example: Primary Care, Neurologist, MRI Reports, etc. I’m also contemplating getting a small binder for each category, so if needed, I can take a binder with me.

It’s all about personal preference… and honestly… some people could carry their medical records with them at once… but I have A LOT of records, so that wouldn’t be so easy.

It may not be needed a lot… but I can tell you that I’m very happy that I requested my records… because it has helped me make decisions since I was diagnosed. For example, I decided to change from my diagnosing neurologist, to a specialist. I had been contemplating the idea, but then I went over my medical records and I saw that there were things documented in the records that were “discussed” with my mother and I… that actually were NOT.

Just know that as a patient, you have the rights to your medical records. You never know when they might come in handy and they may help to keep you on track.

Life with MS and Cognitive Issues: You Never Know What to Expect

Posted on October 18, 2013 by MSAA

By Jeri Burtchell

Ever since telling my family and friends I’d be writing a blog post for MSAA on the topic of cognition, they have been ribbing me. The irony of the most absentminded person they know writing about memory loss is too amusing to ignore.

All kidding aside, cognitive issues can be a serious and bewildering symptom of MS. One that can creep up stealthily and impact every area of your life–and it’s more common than you might think.

My reputation for forgetfulness goes back a long way, predating my diagnosis of Relapsing-remitting MS in 1999. I’ve had memory problems for as far back as I can recall. However, how far back I can recall is debatable.

I start each day with my cognitive cup full. In the stillness of a quiet house at 5 a.m., I approach life hopeful for a day filled with accomplishments. Morning is when I do my best thinking. But I know what’s coming and I prepare in advance.

As surely as the sun crosses the sky, I’ll begin my descent into a foggy, cognitive swamp by midafternoon. Having a plan that helps me get through the day without being overcome by frustration is kind of like having a little set of crutches for my brain.

A huge dry erase board serves as my calendar. Using multicolored Post-it Notes, I translate my life’s chores, celebrations and obligations into a color-coded explosion of reminders. When a fleeting thought of something important lands briefly on my conscious mind, I grab it and quickly trap it in a sticky note. The important thought is added to my calendar, displayed like a butterfly on a pin board.

Green Post-it Notes are work–related and sprinkled all over the board. Yellow is for appointments and domestic duties; pink reminds me to pay the bills. Orange is for anything related to the kids, who have so many extracurricular activities that even a fully functioning brain would have trouble keeping up.

Although it all sounds good on paper, in reality, I’m grasping at straws. I frequently find myself herding well-intentioned sticky reminders from left to right in a multicolored cattle drive across the calendar as accomplishments go unfinished.

So why does this happen when I’m determined to plan out my day? Well, because of websites like Facebook and Pinterest. Or it could be as simple as someone asking me a question that leads my brain astray.

“Jeri, do you know where the phone book is?” my mother asks.

“No, Mom, let me look around.” I reply.

Fifteen minutes later, the Great Phone Book Hunt has yielded nothing, I end up Googling the number for her instead, and whatever task I was working on has slipped to the bottom of the cognitive swamp, totally forgotten.

Thankfully, even though my family members tease me, they are my safety net as well. Intuitively, everyone seems to have found their own way to help me stay on track.

My mother, who will be ninety next month, is an expert in the art of the gentle reminder. She keeps her own lists of what I should be doing and gives me a subtle nudge if she sees my memory falter. She does it with such finesse that a politician would be impressed.

The kids and grandkids know that telling me something important once is not enough. I need daily phone calls, texts, or emails to refresh my memory about picking them up at school or taking them to practice.

Although nobody gets angry when I come home from the grocery store without the bread or milk, there might be some exasperated eye-rolling when I explain that I forgot to even look at the list.

I once had to mail a package with only fifteen minutes to spare. I jumped in the car and raced straight there only to get out of the car and look around puzzled. I wasn’t at the post office. I was at the grocery store on the other side of town. Daydreaming about what to fix for dinner had apparently determined my route. Rather than obsess about how I could possibly have done that, I decided to make the best of things. I went grocery shopping.

Living with cognitive symptoms of MS can be challenging. It takes planning and teamwork to pull off a day that, for anyone else, would seem routine and uneventful. Failing at that now and then can be frustrating, but I try to keep things in perspective. As long as I haven’t forgotten to feed my family or pick someone up who was waiting for a ride, then I can forgive myself the other slips.

Living with cognitive problems isn’t all bad – in fact, there is an upside. I can read a good book several times and the ending still surprises me. I forget arguments as soon as they are over, so forgiving takes no effort. I could probably plan my own surprise party!

And even though my family might rib me about my memory from time to time, the simple act of everyone doing their part to help out seems to have brought us all closer together. I’ll have to jot a reminder to thank them for that – if I can remember where I put my Post-it Notes.

*Jeri Burtchell was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 1999. She has spoken from a patient perspective at conferences around the country, addressing social media and the role it plays in designing clinical trials. Jeri is a MS blogger, patient activist, and freelance writer for the MS News Beat of Healthline.com. She lives in northeast Florida with her youngest son and elderly mother. When not writing or speaking, she enjoys crafting and photography.

Losing My Mind Part Two: Overcoming an MS Cognitive Relapse

Posted on October 16, 2013 by MSAA

By Matt Cavallo

In my last bog, I was in the throes of severe MS cognitive relapse. My short term memory was shot. My word association was gone. Everyday situations confused me. I was a danger to myself and those around me and yet I couldn’t comprehend that something was wrong with me. It took an intervention by my wife, Jocelyn, to get me to schedule a neurologist appointment.

The neurologist immediately sent me for MRI studies. Fitting for the holiday season, the contrast dye administered during the studies lit up the active brain lesions on my films like a Christmas tree. It was recommended that I started a course of treatment immediately.

I found myself isolated in an infusion clinic, depressed that MS had caught up to me again. I was scared. This relapse had affected my ability to work. I had missed time with my mobility and vision relapses, so I was afraid that this would be the final straw at my company. I couldn’t afford to lose my job, not around the holidays. Not because of MS. I also needed to get my mind back. In order to do so, I needed a plan. Here is what I did:

Get a doctor’s note: I had my neurologist write a letter to my boss explaining my limitations. I also had the doctor talk with my wife to help convey my situation.
Meet with your boss: I dropped the letter off at the office and had an honest conversation with him about my relapse.
Create task lists: I got a notebook and listed the things I needed to do each day. I would cross things off the lists as I accomplished them.
Leave sticky notes: I put sticky notes around the house that said “TURN OFF”, “CLOSE ME” or “FLUSH”.
Keep your mind active: I found that reading, writing, crossword puzzles, Sudoku’s or any kind of thinking activities helped with my word association, recollection and memory.

It was early January 2007 and I was two months past my cognitive relapse. Things were becoming crystal clear again in my mind. I was back at work and benefited from a slow holiday season. My boss made accommodations for me and kept me on light duty until I was able to perform all the tasks of my fulltime job. I had made some delicious holiday meals without burning down the house and was able to have an intelligible conversation.

Jocelyn comes home from work, smiles and says, “I’m pregnant!” She grabs me and hugs me in the joy of all we had to overcome to conceive. I knew then that I was going to have to work harder than ever because I never knew when MS was going to strike again. So I set goals for myself that I wanted to accomplish and set out to accomplish them, despite the cognitive issues.

I dusted off an incomplete first draft of my memoir and spent hour after hour writing the story of my MS. My wife and I worked on it together. The writing and the conversations I felt helped rebuild my cognition and my mind was coming back with each page I wrote. Finally, the goal of being published happened in June of 2012 on my seventh anniversary of my MS diagnosis.

During that same month, I graduated with my Master’s in Public Health Administration. I had returned back to school to better understand the health care system to help make a difference in the lives of patients like me. I graduated with a 3.98 GPA, which was the highest in the program.

To realize these goals despite the challenges I’ve experienced with MS is incredibly meaningful. I cannot control what MS does to me, but I can do the best I can with what I’ve got. With my Master’s degree and published memoir, I have accomplished things that I never intended on doing prior to MS. Whatever your goals are if you set your mind to it you will be surprised at the results. If I can do it, you can too!

Losing My Mind, Part One: Experiencing an MS Cognitive Relapse

Posted on October 9, 2013 by MSAA

By Matt Cavallo

Back in October of 2006, I was feeling like I had MS beat. My mobility was seemingly back to normal after losing function the previous year due to an acute onset of Transverse Myelitis. It had also been eight months since a bout of Optic Neuritis had claimed the vision in my right eye. Since then, all symptoms had resolved and I was living a normal, symptom free life. Little did I know that I was about to be thrown into the depths of my scariest relapse, losing my mind.

As the calendar approached the holiday season, I started forgetting things. It was simple things at first, like leaving my keys, wallet and phone on the counter as I walked out of the house for work and locking the front door behind me. While everyone shares these experiences, mine were scary because of the lack of cognitive association. I would look at my keys, wallet and phone on the counter, but couldn’t draw the association in my mind that I needed those things to get to work.

On several occasions, I knocked on my neighbor’s door to use their phone to call Jocelyn at work so she could come home and unlock the door for me. Luckily she worked only a mile away, so she was always able to save me. Even though she was having to save me from situations like this more and more often, I didn’t think I was having a problem.

Next my word association started to fail. I would say things like, “Jocelyn did you put the laundry in the dishwasher?” I would look at a common item like a refrigerator and was unable to call it by name. Instead I would say things like, “you know that thing that keeps food cold.” I was also repeating myself over and over. I remember going out to dinner with another couple and asked ten times in ten minutes whether my friend, John, had heard that our mutual friend, Marc, had his baby. My friend John was getting visibly irritated with me, but I was unaware that I had just repeated myself ten times. Jocelyn spoke up to say that I was having one of my MS episodes.

Still, I didn’t think anything was wrong. I didn’t realize that my work was suffering. I was missing deadlines and turning in incoherent reports. My friends and family were concerned because I couldn’t have a regular conversation. It was like I was there in the room with them, but my mind was locked inside my head and my thoughts couldn’t come out.

Then my cognition started to become dangerous. I love to cook, but I was starting meals and forgetting that I left the oven or stove on. There was one time when I was boiling chicken to make soup, left the house and came back later to have the entire house filled with smoke and the smoke alarm blaring. It was this time when Jocelyn confronted me by saying that I needed help before I hurt myself or others.

This hit me hard. Up until this point, MS had affected me physically but I wasn’t ready to cope with a cognitive loss. I also was not able to comprehend the magnitude of what this relapse was doing to my work and personal relationships or how my inability to process things was putting me in harm’s way. When my wife intervened and told me that I needed help, I didn’t want to believe her. I said that I felt fine and while I was a little forgetful, I was still in control of my faculties. She then pointed out that I almost burned the house down while making soup.

As Jocelyn told me about all my symptoms, I broke down. I realized that I was having another MS relapse, only this time I was losing my mind. If I didn’t see my neurologist, I was liable to lose my job, my friends and possibly hurt myself or others. This was a reality I didn’t want to face. This relapse was by far the scariest because I wasn’t fully aware that it was going on and there were no visual signs of disability. I agreed with Jocelyn and set an appointment for the next available time with the neurologist.

Tune in on October 16 for my next blog about how I was able to cope with and overcome this devastating cognitive relapse.

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