Embracing Change

Posted on August 3, 2016 by MSAA

By Stacie Prada

In the last three years so much of my life has changed.

My beyond-two-decades-long marriage was ending while my career took a completely unexpected and welcome turn. I moved to a new place, and I had a few surgeries. Valued in-person friendships were no longer nearby, and they shifted to Facebook interactions. All of my daily routines I had in place no longer fit into my new life, and I spent a lot of time redesigning them. Often it felt like my entire life was tossed in the air and landed scattered on the ground. Picking up the pieces and deciding how to arrange them again took up a lot of my time and mental energy.

Any of these changes would have been big for me, but juggling them all at once took a lot of effort. MS was a factor in this because I strove to maintain my health throughout these changes. My biggest goal was to avoid an MS exacerbation, and, fortunately, I succeeded.

Experiencing change can alter how I view the world, myself, my past, my future, and the people around me. It’s a mental shift from what I thought I could count on to knowing how vulnerable and impermanent everything can be. The diagnosis of MS made me question my body’s abilities and health. I thought my body was strong and healthy. Being diagnosed led me to realize that a healthy and mobile future isn’t necessarily in my control. I can eat right, exercise, and get checkups, and still have no guarantee for good health or the ability to walk in my elder years.

Adjusting to change is a skill I’ve cultivated to save my sanity and bring myself mental peace. Some years ago, my New Year’s Resolution was to “Embrace the things that I resist.” It was a great experience acknowledging when I was resisting things and actively shedding the internal resistance I had to doing them. When I was nervous about running a public meeting, I decided to dive in and just do my best. When I liked a fashion choice that I thought might be too flashy, I decided to try it anyway. When the group sang karaoke, I got up in front of the group with my not-great singing voice and sang my heart out. I knew I might sound terrible or look silly, but I let myself have fun doing it.

My personal challenge that year allowed me to think about and recognize why I resisted things, and it helps to think about it when dealing with change. Most of the time my resistance stemmed from the following:

Uncertainty for what the next step was or how to decide
Being afraid that following that step would lead to an outcome I feared
Being overwhelmed from the quantity of things to deal with at that moment
Fear of making a mistake, making what I would later judge as a wrong decision, failing, or being judged negatively by others
Holding on to a belief that I have control over the future, others, or anything other than what I do, say or believe.

Coping with change:

With MS, a lot of change stems from the domino effect of losing mobility, cognition and physical abilities. Focusing on these losses can lead to depression and a sense of doom. When an exacerbation hits, it’s natural to worry about where it will lead and how it will affect the future. It’s all understandable and natural, but it’s also incredibly unsettling, frustrating and just plain hard. I try to embrace changes I’m resisting by doing the following:

Recognize that feeling unsettled, nervous or fearful is natural. Accept it will be stressful but try to do what I can to minimize the stress.
Think about why the change is stressful. Does it require changing my life, my relationships, or just my attitude?
Seek inspiration and motivation from people who have lived through a similar change. What insight can they lend?
Pace myself. Take on only a few extra tasks each week or month, and reduce some of the things that aren’t necessary for my physical or mental health. Know that my regular life still requires a lot of energy, and something needs to give temporarily.
Know the deadlines and what’s at risk if they aren’t met. Give myself enough time to do things, but not too much so that it feels never-ending.
Break down the steps to dealing with change into smaller doable tasks to avoid getting overwhelmed.
Prioritize based on importance, deadlines, and energy level. If my energy is low, I’ll do the easy tasks for now and the more involved tasks at a time of day when I have more energy. Certain things may also be able to wait months.
Wait to start until I’m ready to commit. I keep a list of things to do, but I don’t start until I’m ready to do them and complete them.
Set realistic expectations and ambitious dreams.
Look forward to something. Whether it’s seeing kids or grandkids grow up and being a part of their lives, traveling, dancing, watching the sun set, or anything else small or large that brings joy.
Enjoy the path I’m on even when portions of it are difficult. Give myself credit for all of the things I do that aren’t hard because I’ve put so much effort in the past into getting better at them.
Trust that I’ll do what I think is right for me each step of the way and that it’s enough.

Dealing with change has been a learned skill for me, and it’s taken a lot of effort to cultivate that skill. It’s been worth the effort to reduce my internal stress and increase my sense of contentment. Relaxing into and embracing change has improved my confidence, given me opportunities and experiences beyond my expectations, and made for a much more satisfied and joy-filled life.

*Stacie Prada was diagnosed with RRMS in 2008 at the age of 38. Her blog, “Keep Doing What You’re Doing” is a compilation of inspiration, exploration, and practical tips for living with Multiple Sclerosis while living a full, productive, and healthy life with a positive perspective. It includes musings on things that help her adapt, cope and rejoice in this adventure on earth. Please visit her at http://stacieprada.blogspot.com/

New Year – New You

Posted on January 25, 2016 by Samantha Schech

I have to admit, I am a sucker for a New Year’s resolution. Maybe it’s the over-indulgences from the holiday season, or the thought that summer is quickly approaching. But I really enjoy the idea of a reset; or a chance for a redo. The key word there is “chance”; each individual has the power to elicit a change in their lives.

For me, January 1st is the first day of a new life. While we can look at each day as an opportunity for change, for some, the bigger picture provides a sense of ease in that the familiar world we are used to will not be transformed in one fell swoop.

Honor the journey that you have been through thus far, for it has created memories and life moments that can propel you through this new life. Respect the past for what is it, and allow yourself to move forward. The new life in front of you is not designed to change your past experiences, but to allow a place for growth.

This is your choice and your time to make a change that can possibly help with a challenge that is causing you to struggle. Perhaps this is the time to contact that specialist to talk about a troubling symptom, or reach out to a friend from the past which you’ve lost contact. The possibilities for change are endless, but committing to one is the first step.

“It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life for me
And I’m feeling good”
– Leslie Bricusse

Allow this new year to be your chance for change! Comment below or write to us sharing your experience.

Stick to YOUR OWN agenda

Posted on January 22, 2016 by Angel Blair

During this month’s blog posts we’ve had discussions relating to resolutions, changes, and goals for the new year ahead. While many people work hard to create their own plans and generate new goals to achieve, some individuals try to impose their own agenda onto others—with the expectation that the objectives they envisioned for that person will automatically be met.

Some of us are not complete strangers to this situation; especially if during your childhood or adolescent years you had parents or other figures hold you to complete certain tasks and require the execution of specific goals. This is usually not done in malice, but rather people wanting the best for others and for them to perform at their highest level of potential. However, for individuals experiencing an illness or disability, these anticipations can be overwhelming and burdensome at times, especially if they don’t match with their abilities and skillsets. Everyone is different and is capable of different things.

Even though it’s done with good intentions, others expectations can sometimes take over one’s own agenda completely, leaving their own goals and aspirations on the sidelines. It’s difficult trying to meet others’ goals for what you should or should not be accomplishing, and it can be downright exhausting trying to satisfy others in this manner. That’s why it’s important to stick to your own plans and agenda—to realize your abilities or limitations and to strive forward with this thoughtfully in mind. You can take others suggestions, if asked for, to take into consideration when you’re forming your objectives, but they should be your own and done on your own terms. It’s hard to please everyone, but if at the end of the day you are comfortable with the decisions you’ve made and the feats you’ve conquered, I’d say to chalk that up as a win!

It is Never too Late to Make a Change

Posted on September 4, 2015 by Samantha Schech

This time of year sets the stage for big changes in many people’s lives. Little kids prepare for the first day of school. College students embark on a new journey that will change the course of their future. And parents start to see their once little child becoming more independent and less reliant on their help.

As we age, it appears that everything changes and sometimes we accept those changes and sometimes we don’t. For many, change is a scary thing and is met with some resistance or animosity. But for some, change can be exciting and refreshing.

Which category do you fall? Do you find yourself resisting change, or do you fully embrace it?

It is never too late to make a change in your life. A change does not necessarily need to be an overhaul, perhaps something small that you have put off for some time. With the long holiday weekend, it provides an extra day to do something for yourself that may make a significant transformation for the better.

So give it a shot, allow yourself to move freely through the change. If you come across any resistance or hesitation, ask yourself why. Change does not have to be absolute. You have control over your life and if after making the change you find that it does not work for you, you have the power to make the switch.
What is something you have thought about changing?

MSAA Office’s will be closed Monday September 7th in observance of the Labor Day Holiday.

Sometimes Things Change…

Posted on May 20, 2015 by Angel Blair

Change is something that can be unavoidable at times and not always favored, nor asked for or necessarily welcomed. Though sometimes it can be difficult, there may be times when change is needed to make certain things more manageable. As it can be known to cause shifts in all types of roles, relationships, plans, or daily routines, adjusting to change can have impacts not just on yourself but those around you as well. One of the significant pieces needed throughout the change process is communication. Communication with family, friends, support networks, medical teams and others within your circle is important to be able to discuss what change has occurred and what can be done to accommodate it.

When dealing with something like a chronic illness, change can particularly affect family and relationship roles and dynamics. This can be difficult for all the family members involved. It can be difficult to change a routine and how things used to flow from one day to the next. Say one family member has been known to be the ‘caregiver’ to the others, taking care of the household duties and responsibilities. What if they suddenly need to be the one being cared for due to an illness? This can create a shift in how the household duties are shared and now need to be assigned to others.

Communicating how these changes affect the relationships is important. Feeling frustrated, confused, or even angry at times is ok because things are different. The critical point is to make sure that these thoughts and feelings are expressed to ensure that all people feel they are heard and that their feelings are validated and valued. Seeking some type of family counseling supports can be beneficial to talk about change in a safe and open format—so that all of those affected can discuss it.

Has change affected any of your relationships? How did you approach this?

Adjusting to Change

Posted on October 6, 2014 by Angel Blair

Change is something that continually occurs throughout life for all people and to different degrees. Change may have very mild, subtle effects, or very significant effects depending on what’s being altered. Sometimes change can be a good thing, and sometimes not. One of the most difficult concepts to accept about change is that at times you have no control over it. In our individualized society we try to live by the mantra that we control our lives and what happens to us day-by-day, but this is not always the case. Sometimes the unexpected arises and we play no part in its occurrence. An unexpected illness, a loss, or other unforeseen situations are some of the incidences that can transpire due to no control of our own. When the unexpected occurs, what can you do to help adjust and cope with this new-found circumstance, that wasn’t necessarily welcome or planned for?

Talk to others about the changes that have occurred. Communicating to trusted loved ones, friends or your healthcare team can help you explore ways to adjust by receiving outside perspectives.
Reflect on what the change has affected. By recognizing what’s different you can make your own adjustments that will work for you in your day to day.
Explore your support resources. If change has had emotional, physical, or social impacts for you, it’s important to know who you can reach out to for help.
Bring focus to things that you enjoy and that you can control in your day-to-day. Make decisions that help to ensure that changes are modified to fit your needs.

Change can take some getting used to, especially if it’s something unpredictable. Though some things are uncontrollable and unforeseen at times, individuals do hold influence over the way they can approach change and react to it. It’s how you make the change work for you that’s significant.

It’s beginning to look a lot like fall….

Posted on September 17, 2014 by Angel Blair

Cooler temps forecast across parts of the country this week remind us that the fall season is approaching. Cooler nights, falling leaves and seasonal colors like orange and yellow are some of the trademarks of this festive time of year. Though some areas are still consumed by warm temperatures and strong sun rays, it is the time of year where the seasons start to evolve.

For those affected by the heat, fall is a welcomed time of the year that brings with it opportunities to enjoy the outdoors in a more comfortable manner. Sports activities, ball games, gardening and festive fall events are some ways to embrace the season’s change by spending time outside, and to perhaps ‘escape’ from hibernating methods used during the summer months when the unbearable heat was avoided.

Some look at the season change as a way to start new ventures, set new goals, or make plans for the rest of the year. New beginnings can create feelings of excitement and hope as new memories are made and added to those past. Though change can be difficult at times, it’s how you embrace it and make it work for you that matters. How the journey is spent experiencing something new is as important as the destination.

What are you looking forward to this fall?

Change and the Impacts on Your “Self” When You Have MS

Posted on July 23, 2014 by Samantha Schech

“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”
-John F. Kennedy

By definition, the word change means to make or become different. But in what ways do we change? When I reflect on my life, I don’t think of my current self as any different from my past self. Certainly I have learned from my mistakes and have adapted, but I still think of myself as the same person I was many years ago. Maybe my taste in music or my physical appearance has changed, but morally and ethically I don’t think I have changed much.

Sometimes a chronic illness like MS may impact an individual’s views of themselves. By focusing only on the past and how MS may be impacting the present, like John F. Kennedy stated, you may “miss the future.”

I think that this quote is pretty powerful and allows for the opportunity to really think of who we are and what attributes of our “self” we consider important. In certain ways, all people may change over time, but focusing on the positive attributes of your life allows you to honor them and your sense of “self” and will guide you into the future.

What parts of your self have remained un-changed? In what ways are you honoring your self?

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