Getting Off to a Good Start

There’s a philosophy about first impressions that states within a few seconds of meeting an individual we can evaluate who that person is and create an instant opinion about that person. As a social worker, I have never really understood that philosophy. Sure, by evaluating body language, tone of voice, or physical appearance we can get a sense of the person and what they may be experiencing at that moment. But it is not fair to cast judgement and say that the way a person presents in that moment is who that person truly is.

Isn’t everyone entitled to a bad day? It is impossible to be on point every moment of every day. The same can be said for individuals with multiple sclerosis. Individuals with the relapsing forms of the disease who experience periods of heightened symptom activities will experience good and bad days. Are you just supposed to stay out of the public’s eye during those bad days with fear of being judged in that moment?

As a society, we need to be more forgiving and open to learning about an individual before making a snap judgement. MS education can play a valuable role during this period. While an MS diagnosis does not define an individual, offering more information about how you are affected may help in providing some sensitivity and awareness to others about living with chronic illness.

As an individual, how do you come back from a bad day and present yourself again?

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When people say, “but you look so good!”

One of the more frustrating things about having an invisible illness like multiple sclerosis is having people tell you, “but you look so good!” It’s incredibly difficult to explain to others what it is like to live with MS, and because so many of the symptoms associated with this condition are not apparent on the outside, it seems impossible for those who do not have MS to understand. We recently posted a story from one of our community members who expressed her frustration about people telling her she “looked good”, and our Facebook community responded in support! Here are some of the comments that our community members shared!

People just don’t understand

  • I understand, I have had MS for 11 years and I hear it all the time, “you look good!” Well I don’t feel good! People just don’t understand this disease!
  • Don’t waste any more time trying to explain what you’re going through. Most people just don’t get it. If you have a support system, terrific. It takes too much energy to try to educate everyone you know about MS. Don’t be afraid to say NO. I’ve lived with MS for 25 years. In that time, most people I know have “gotten it” through my behavior and actions. Check with your local MS chapter. They have literature to explain MS. Join a good support group. It helps.
  • While these words are true most folks mean well its more an issue of them not understanding MS. They understand what they can see, that’s all.
  • I get “how are you feeling? You look good!!” almost daily. Some days I wish I looked like I felt so then maybe people would realize “oh, she’s a mother of four and looks like she feels terrible despite her busy/demanding daily routine”. Pep talks are good, and positive reinforcement is also good. Telling me I look good is pointless.
  • I always tell the people that I look so good at the outside because there is nothing beautiful left at the inside. It is rotten, so I will do everything to keep my outside pretty.
  • I just wish they could be in my body for one day!
  • That statement makes me feel like I do not have the right to feel bad, or to “sit out”. It says the person talking has a total lack of understanding of this disease.
  • It drives me nuts when I hear that! It diminishes my feelings. No, I don’t want to roll around in “whoa is me,” but heck, this is real.

People think I’m lazy

  • My family thinks I’m lazy and expects me to push through it. I’ve been a plumber for 25 years and a timber faller logging for 7 years… I could get disability, but I want to work, I just can’t over do it.

People mean well

  • I think many people mean well by saying it. The truth is, I don’t venture out when I don’t feel well. I had a cop question me using my handicapped permit earlier in the week – checking my ID against it and he said “these aren’t for convenience”. I told him that he should be thankful I felt like crap or I would tell him what I was really thinking.

I don’t feel like I look good

  • MS made me gain weight, changed my shoulder and my legs, and my eyes cross. My body hasn’t felt fit in years, so please don’t say that I look good
.

I don’t mind if people tell me I look good

  • I don’t have a problem with people saying I look good. All I can say is thank you.
  • I still like to hear, “you look good,” even if it’s not true.
  • I rarely talk to anyone about how I feel because they “know exactly how I feel because they do too”. Even though they don’t have MS.

What about you? How does it make you feel when someone says, “but you look so good”?

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The Heat and the Cold Can Impact MS Symptoms – Our Community Members Share Their Experiences

For many people with multiple sclerosis, heat can exacerbate MS symptoms. One of our contributors at MultipleSclerosis.net, Matt, even moved from southern California to Colorado, partly to escape the heat. However, another one of our contributors, Jackie, experiences MS symptoms, especially in her legs, when it is cold. It seems that temperatures affect people with MS in multiple ways, and in a recent article, Stephanie shared her experience. While she is extremely cold during the day, she finds herself turning into a “human torch” at night. As it turns out, many of our community members also overheat at night, or have other issues regulating their body temperature. More than 30 people in our Facebook community commented on Stephanie’s article, and here’s what they had to say:

I have night sweats too!

  • I had no idea that this was a symptom of my MS, which I was only diagnosed with 2 months ago. I also found out in an earlier post that “sensory overload” is part of it. Just ask my family, Saturday I was a complete jerk with EVERY little noise and I had no idea why. At least I can feel validated and not completely crazy!
  • I thought I was the only one who suffered from these strange symptoms! I prefer the heat over the cold, which makes my extremities hurt. And I freeze constantly – until I go to sleep. I bury myself under the covers to get warm, but wake up in the middle of the night kicking them off of me because I’m drenched in sweat. It’s miserable and ridiculously confusing!
  • I’ve been having night sweats for awhile and my neurologist keeps saying it is not my MS, but it didn’t start happening until a year after my diagnosis.
  • Fantastic post. This is something many people with MS experience as part of life with the condition and will help other people see they are not alone.
  • I, too, prefer the warm, not hot, weather. I freeze all day, but I can’t stand the covers on in bed.
  • I thought I was the only one who had the strange symptoms. I haven’t slept because of it for now 3 weeks, and it’s driving me insane.
  • I thought it was menopause possibly starting early. I never thought my MS did this. It’s horrible, especially when it’s actually cold.
  • I have the same problem with night sweats. I’ve had every test and no one can explain why I have them. Thanks for the article. I don’t feel so alone.
  • Yes, I definitely relate! I turn into a Bunsen burner especially late at night and no matter how cold it is I sweat like crazy without even getting all that over heated or hot. I still wake up sweaty.
  • ‪I sleep with ice packs all year long here in Michigan.
  • This is me, 110%! I’m freezing all day then a human furnace at night. And I can’t handle sleeping without a heavy blanket either from years of doing so before these symptoms.

I’m cold sometimes, and really hot at other times.

  • My husband and I had to resort to having our own bedrooms, and I often keep a fan on and have eight blankets. This is all because my body temperature is yo-yoing.
  • My feet always feel cold even though they’re warm especially when I’m in bed
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  • I get really cold then I get really hot. It’s off and on.
  • I have that problem too. I thought it was just me, so thank you for posting this. I get night sweats to the point that my shirt will be wet.
  • I know EXACTLY what you mean! I am freezing cold, and burning up at the exact same moment. But it’s not just at night. I am always uncomfortable.
  • I thought it was just me! My body is like a house with no insulation. I’m either too hot or too cold.
  • I’m always warm – my hot flashes ended some time ago. My feet are always cold, even when it’s 100° outside. My circulation is getting so bad.

My Body temperature is hot all the time!

  • I’ll trade with you! I am like a human torch all the time. I never cool off even in the winter. People think I’m crazy because I don’t wear a jacket even in the winter. It makes it very hard to sleep because my husband is always cold and I am always hot.
  • I live in IL and it’s Dec. 22. I still wear shorts and a short-sleeved shirt to bed. I still sometimes wake up sweaty.
  • I don’t get cold often, but I’m always really hot since being diagnosed. It’s winter and I’m running my fan on full blast!

I’m cold all the time!

  • The only time this overheating ever happened to me was when I was taking Rebif. Now I am a thermostat nightmare – freezing cold all the time, layers and layers of clothing, and at night I have found the one thing to help go from hot to cold with minimal effort – believe it or not –  is a sleeping bag. The silk of the bag stays cool, and it warms up like a champ too so it’s easy to toss on and off at a whim without too much effort while TRYING to sleep.

Other:

  • I also find that using a sleeping bag helps me better adjust temp at night. I found this out by accident in September. Long story short, I was homeless from March of this year until December first. I was living in my car and when the season started shifting here in New England I finally borrowed a sleeping bag for the cooler nights. I slept much better with the sleeping bag than I did with blankets. My car would get stuffy at night with all the windows rolled up yet it was also chilly. The silkiness of the sleeping bag was comforting when I was feeling chilly and it was soothing to lie on top of it when I was feeling a little too warm. Now I have finally moved into an apartment and I don’t want to give the sleeping bag up.
  • I don’t do well in the heat. AC is for me in the summer, but I have been having cold hands and feet this winter nearly all the time. I am sitting in front of a floor heater nearly all the time now, and I live in California. There’s no way could I ever go or live where there is snow!
  • I don’t usually get hot or cold, but lately in the last 6 months I have sweating episodes that last about 20 minutes where I am drenched. I’m way past menopause so I know that can’t be it.

What about you? Do you have trouble regulating your body temperature? Do you have a hard time with either hot or cold temperatures? Please share with us in the comments!

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Stress and the Holidays with MS

Can you believe it’s already that time of the year again for the holidays? With everything we have going on in our lives and tacking on multiple sclerosis with it, it can be very hectic.

The holidays are meant to be a time to be with family and enjoy ourselves, not stress over shopping, hosting parties, cooking, etc. Then you tack on the crazy weather we have been having on top of everything else, it’s just down right insane.

(Now maybe some of y’all are used to the cold weather, but it’s a bit of a shock to us down here in the South.)

So I thought I would share some of the things that I do, so that I’m not adding stress to my already stressful life. It’s hard to be completely stress free, so I’m not even going to attempt to say something like “stress free.”

Sometimes it feels like there aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything that we need to get done, completed.

For me, when the day is coming to a close, I feel like it’s family time and time to relax. Not to run around ‘till I’m exhausted getting Christmas shopping done, etc. I don’t have the energy and/or strength to stand in lines, to fight the crowds, and everything else that comes along with holiday shopping.

Many sales aren’t just limited to ‘in-store’ purchases, but are also online. One thing I’ve done in the past – and will do this year as well, is shopping online. I know it’s not the same thing as actually going to the store and buying things, but it’s better for me and my MS, so that’s what I’m taking in to account. I don’t want to run down my body or cause my MS to flare-up trying to shop for the holidays. Where is the fun in that?

You would be surprised on what all is offered online. I love shopping at Amazon, because they seem to have almost everything available because they have outside vendors. Plus, a lot of the time when you’re shopping online certain stores offer free shipping if your total price is over a certain limit. Even if you have to pay for shipping, I think that the same amount would go towards gas if you’re actually driving around and shopping.

Now, whether you are shopping online or in the store, see if they offer gift-wrapping. This is a very big problem for me. I have spasticity in my hands, so if I’m trying to wrap multiple gifts at a time, my hands start giving me issues, and then the wrapping isn’t so pretty.

If you enjoy doing your own gift-wrapping, try and make a schedule out of it, so that you aren’t wrapping everything at once. I’ve done that before, and it wasn’t nice at all.

I know that it can be annoying that we have to make certain changes in our ‘routine,’ but I feel that those changes are worth it personally. By doing some simple, small changes, I can make sure that I’m not going to ‘pay for it’ from my MS in the future.

If you’re hosting a holiday event at your house, kudos to you! I don’t think I could handle all that. But if you are one of those people, don’t feel like you have to do ALL of the cooking for the gathering. Ask family/friends to bring certain dishes. Have a little sign-up sheet online, Google Docs, or something.

Something I have come to absolutely love is my crock-pot. This way it prevents standing for a long period of time cooking certain things. I can throw things for a recipe in to my crock-pot and turn it on, and it’s one less thing to worry about.

I love getting recipes on Pinterest and similar websites. If you just Google search “Holiday Crockpot Recipes,” I’m sure there will be plenty of results to choose from.

One last note… If you are going to make a run to the store to get your ingredients for a recipe, or anything else for that matter, have a list put together. I like to organize my list by section; this way I don’t have to scan through the entire list every time I look at it.

Most importantly, have fun with your family and friends. This is a time to spend time together, and be thankful for what we have been blessed with. I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s okay to allow someone to help you out. There is no shame in asking someone to help out with simple tasks.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

Ashley Ringstaff

MSWorld Volunteer

www.msworld.org    

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November 2014 Artist of the Month: Celebrating the Work of Artists Affected by Multiple Sclerosis

MSAA is very proud to present our 2014 Art Showcase – celebrating the work of artists affected by MS.

We have received many wonderful submissions from across the country and are delighted to share their work and their stories with you. Please visit our online gallery to view all of the new submissions.

November Artist of the Month:
Terry Densford – Jacksonville, FL

 Terry Densford - Blue Blue

About the Artist:

I was diagnosed with MS on July 4th, 2011 – an easy date to remember…my MS affects my right side, from my face down to my toes, making it hard to speak, write, and other things we sometimes take for granted…

MS is something that hovers over my head. Will it get worse? If it does, how will it affect my life? When is the next time I will have another flare up? Where will I be? What will I be doing? Is my hand just asleep, or is it my MS? All normal questions I believe anyone who struggles with MS, unfortunately, asks themselves on a regular basis. All that being said, I consider myself lucky. I feel fortunate that I was diagnosed early; that there are medical advances out there that have helped me keep this disease under control. I push fear aside so I can continue to move forward. I intend to live my life as if there isn’t anything hindering its quality.”

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Be inspired – please send an online card featuring artwork by MS artist Terry Densford and spread awareness of MS and MSAA.

Calling All Artists with MS
It’s that time of year – MSAA is now accepting submissions for our 2015 Art Showcase! If you haven’t already done so, submit your best artwork by December 18th 2014 for a chance to be a part of next year’s Art Showcase.  

Submit your artwork for the 2015 MSAA Art Showcase.

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The Impact of MS on Everyday life

Earlier this year, MultipleSclerosis.net conducted an on-line study called the MS in America Study (MSIA), which aimed to gather information from people who have been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. The study was conducted with a goal of gaining a better understanding of the current status and trends in patients with MS. The survey covered a broad range of topics, including diagnosis, symptoms, treatment, and living with MS. A total of 6,202 people started the survey, of which 5,710 were eligible (diagnosed with MS, at least 18 years of age and were either US residents or US citizens living abroad); 5,004 completed the study.

One key area of interest in the MS community is the actual impact that this disease has on the everyday lives of patients and family members of those with MS. A section of the MSIA study asked participants a series of questions that focused on everyday life with MS, and the results are quite compelling. Of 5,514 respondents, the vast majority (77%, n=4,244) said that they are no longer able to do as much as they used to before having MS. Nearly half noted that they are unable to work (43.1%, n=2,374), and a similar percentage of respondents (44.8%, n=2,472) were receiving disability benefits.

The majority of survey participants reported having children (72.5%, n=4,028 of 5,554), and not surprisingly, of those, most felt that MS had impacted their relationship with their children in some way. Check out the pie chart below to see how MS has impacted participants’ relationships with their children:

MSIA children impact

When asked about their relationship status, most reported either being married (61.7%, n=3,417 of 5,541) or in a committed relationship (11.8%, 653 of 5,541). Interestingly, nearly half (46.1%, 1,872 of 4,063) of those who were in a relationship reported being in that relationship for 21 years or more. Similar to the impact of MS on relationships with their children, most participants felt that MS had an impact on their relationship with their spouse or significant other. Nearly half (43.5%, 1,767) reported that MS had “a little bit” of an impact, while 38.7% (n=576) responded either “quite a bit” or “a great deal.” Only 17.7% (n=721) of respondents felt that MS didn’t have any impact on their relationship. Interestingly, an analysis of these data showed that the length of the relationship did not correlate with the level of impact that MS had on that relationship.

Because MS can impact a person’s life in many ways, it is critical that patients have a strong support system in place to help them cope with this condition. MSIA participants were asked some questions related to their support networks, and the majority (58.7%, n=2,941 of 5013) reported having a loved one who is actively involved in managing their MS. Support networks include spouses, children, parents, friends, significant others, and other relatives.

Of the 2,941 people who responded to the question, “How does your caregiver help you manage your MS?,” the majority (74%, n=2,180) said that their caregivers help out during an exacerbation, while most said their caregivers help out with transportation to and from appointments, and many also receive help from their caregivers with managing their medication.

MSIA support system

Fortunately, in addition to loved ones, there are many other resources available to provide support for people with MS. Over 87% (4,267 of 4,881) of those in the MSIA study said that they rely on MS-specific websites to learn about or manage their MS, more than half (68.8%, n=3,357) read MS magazines/publications as a resource, and many (45.2%, n=2,204) also use social media outlets, like Facebook, for support.

Results of the MSIA study confirm that the impact of MS on the everyday lives of patients and loved ones is significant, and that there is great value in the support systems that are available. To read more about this study and to see additional results, click here.

Tell us more about how MS has changed your life! Who and what do you rely on for support?

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May 2014 Artist of the Month: Celebrating the Work of Artists Affected by Multiple Sclerosis

MSAA is very proud to present our 2014 Art Showcase – celebrating the work of artists affected by MS.

We have received many wonderful submissions from across the country and are delighted to share their work and their stories with you. Please visit our online gallery to view all of the new submissions.

May 2014 Artist of the Month:
Bean Fairbanks – Seattle, WA

 Succulent by Bean Fairbanks

“All of my life, I have been part geek and part artist. Since 1987, I have been living with multiple sclerosis. One of the consequences/opportunities of MS has been that I have had to reinvent myself over and over again to maximize my current talents and surmount obstacles. That has been true of my career as well as my artwork. Over the years, I have crafted with charcoal, pen and ink, pastels, acrylic and oils as well as my first love: textile arts…”
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Be inspired – please send an online card featuring artwork by MS artist Bean Fairbanks and spread awareness of MS and MSAA.

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My Journey with MS Injections and Others’ Perceptions

Anna_webber_2

Sometimes like this weekend, for example, things will get to me. I attended a wedding weekend in paradise, bikini-clad in the Florida Keys, spending time with really great people, many of whom I’m meeting for the first time. And moreover, they’re meeting me for the first time. I was the best man’s date; his younger brother was getting married. I love social environments and enjoy meeting new people, especially those close to the people I love.

I was diagnosed at 23 years old. Beginning then, I decided it was all I could do to keep my life and my health in control where I could. I value keeping up on my treatment, staying healthy, and taking the disease seriously. It puts me at ease knowing I am actively doing all I can, and I’m proud of that. After locking down the “controllable” details (regimenting injections, exercise, diet, keeping up with friends and relationships, living in a positive environment, and embracing happiness), I’m freed up then to make the best choices possible when confronted with “life.” In this way, I am generally relaxed and comfortable in my own skin, navigating situations with conscious control and attention. When I’m walking around with injection site spots at a beautiful beach resort, that’s a time it’s a little easier to forget to be sensitive to the topic.

I’ve been able to stay healthy without experiencing too many symptoms too often. So for an otherwise healthy 27 year-old girl, it’s the (we’ll call them) “little things” that I’ll forget about. And truthfully, to me it seems those things can affect everyone else before they affect me. I attribute it to fear of the unknown. “Anna, you are SO sunburned on the top of your leg and on your hips! How does that even happen? Or is that a bruise? Hey, is your man beating you!?” (Referring to the best man.) Bless his heart…

Living with MS and injection site reactions and red welts, those marks and bruises from the shots that slow down the disease, I’ll forget about them unless they hurt or become somehow more inflamed. My boyfriend is mostly used to them, but I know it makes him sad that they’re even there at all; it’s just another reminder of the MS. When people see bruises in weird places, they’ll assume the man you’re with is probably the one beating you… You notice those looks and darting eyes. We talk about it and how he feels, and sometimes if I do something clumsy or forgetful, he’ll think, “Is that the MS?” and then he’ll go, “Do I have MS?” (Referring to himself.) Adorable.

Bottom line is, I don’t worry about people feeling awkward when I tell them that I have MS, I’m not embarrassed, and I’ll talk about it to anyone who’s curious. Once the unknown becomes understood, nothing’s a big deal, and in some strange way, it can make the connection deeper and easier. The whole thing seems to make me a more compassionate and happier person. The reactions when I tell a concerned party not to worry, are something between a quizzical look and concern, so then I’ll go on, “I have MS.” And then the, “Oh I’m so sorry,” etc. I guess why it gets to me, really, is because I feel like some people are condescending, or something even more cavalier. I’m doing everything I can do to control what I can and be the healthiest I can be, but those red spots are a blessing, and I’ve grown to learn to see them that way.

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February Artist of the Month: Celebrating the Work of Artists Affected by Multiple Sclerosis

MSAA is very proud to present our Art Showcase – celebrating the work of artists affected by MS.

We have received many wonderful submissions from across the country and are delighted to share their work and their stories with you. Please visit our online gallery to view all of the MSAA Art Showcase submissions.

February 2014 Artist of the Month:
Lucinda Mierek – Anderson, SC

 Pretty Petals and Peaches by Lucinda Mierek

“My art has changed because of my fatigue and loss of concentration. My images used to be tight and are now loose. The content was edgier and is now more mainstream. However, my color use is getting better possibly because I’m losing my vision and am trying to compensate. I need more energy to do my art and haven’t figured out how to get it.

Even with my problems I feel fortunate. I still walk, drive, and tend to my yard.

My daughter and I still enjoy our time together. She pushes me to do more art. She seems to be my biggest fan!

‘Pretty Petals and Peaches’ is acrylic on matte board. It is very loose in comparison to the detailed older work of mine. I like the color usage of my “MS era.” I have learned to take life a little less intensely and use color more intensely. My work has changed for the better.”

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Be inspired – please send an online card featuring artwork by MS artist Lucinda Mierek and spread awareness of MS and MSAA.

MSAA’s Next Art Showcase for 2014

Thank you to all of the artists who were part of last year’s Art Showcase for artists with multiple sclerosis. The wonderful artwork and personal stories have been inspirational to many who have visited our online gallery and who have sent and received online art cards, celebrating the lives and talents of people living with MS.

MSAA will soon debut the 2014 Art Showcase in March as part of MS Awareness Month. So, get ready for some new artwork and stories to enjoy! As before, each month we will share with you an Artist of the Month with a new online card that you can send to friends and family to spread awareness of MS, while showcasing the wonderful talents displayed by artists with MS.

You still have time for one more look at last year’s collection! Then, get ready to enjoy the many new works to be featured in MSAA’s 2014 Art Showcase.

Check out the complete MSAA Art Showcase online gallery of artists with MS.

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January Artist of the Month: Celebrating the Work of Artists Affected by Multiple Sclerosis

MSAA is very proud to present our Art Showcase – celebrating the work of artists affected by MS.

We have received many wonderful submissions from across the country and are delighted to share their work and their stories with you. Please visit our online gallery to view all of the MSAA Art Showcase submissions.

January 2014 Artist of the Month:
Michelle Hotchkiss – Palmer, AK

 Midst of Winter by Michelle Hotchkiss - send this Artist Card

“My name is Michelle Hotchkiss. I live on a small farm in a small town in Alaska with my husband, a very large dog and my dog-tolerant cat. I have two wonderful adult children and two of the cutest grandchildren ever born.

I finally had a diagnosis of MS in 1994 after years of odd symptoms. In 1994, I had a serious and scary attack which resulted in diagnosis of MS within days. It took a while, but I fortunately recovered and was able to return to work and lead a very active and outdoorsy lifestyle.”

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Be inspired – please send an online card featuring artwork by MS artist Michelle Hotchkiss and spread awareness of MS and MSAA.

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