This is for the Weary Ones

Posted on March 24, 2017 by MSAA

By Penelope Conway

This is for the weary ones, the tired ones, and the “I can’t go on” ones.

This is for the ones who cry behind closed doors yet muster up a smile to face the day.

This is for the ones who dream of the day multiple sclerosis is cured so they no longer have to deal with doctor appointments, meds, needles, and pain.

This is for the ones who keep going, even when they know they need to stop for a moment to do nothing but chill on the couch with a good book or a marathon of their favorite show on TV.

This is for the ones who long to take a vacation where they are waited on hand and foot; no laundry, no dishes, no vacuuming, no work of any kind.

This is for the ones who get stressed and overwhelmed with the demands a life with multiple sclerosis brings.

This is for the ones who find it hard to keep going, who long for a break, who need time off, and who deal with too much.

This is for you.

You are an amazing, courageous, beautiful person. You are not alone. Take some time to do something just for you. That pile of laundry… let it pile up. It doesn’t matter. Take time for you. Treat yourself to a movie, a night out, a steak dinner, a trip through the park, or a giant slice of chocolate cheesecake. Shake off those negative thoughts that cause you to feel worse than MS could ever make you feel.

Stand outside your situation and, for just a moment, try looking in from the outside. Think about what you would say to someone else standing in your shoes. Would you remind them of their value? Would you tell them to worry less? Would you encourage them to ask for help so they aren’t doing everything alone? Would you show them how to smile through the tears?

You have a mountain in front of you… an Everest. That’s your reality. But no matter how big it may be, it can be climbed. Don’t look at its massive size. Choose instead to take your eyes off of the rock in front of you and look out at the beauty all around. Stop for just a moment and breathe. It takes courage, determination and strength… and you have each one.

So as you climb Mount Everest with your heart pounding in your chest and your knees buckling under you, give yourself one tiny moment to realize just how incredible you really are. You are worth it. You matter!

*Penelope Conway was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in November 2011. She is the author and founder of Positive Living with MS (http://positivelivingwithms.com/) where she uses humor and her own life experiences with MS to help others navigate this unpredictable journey. She believes that staying positive and holding onto hope is the key to waking up each morning with the strength to get through the day.

Invisible MS Symptoms and How They Affect Relationships – Even When They’re Subtle

Posted on February 17, 2017 by MSAA

By Stacie Prada

Being diagnosed with and living with a chronic incurable condition can test and change every relationship a person holds dear. Invisible symptoms are especially tricky. I know after my Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis I didn’t want to burden others with my problems. Just because I had a life altering condition, I didn’t think it should affect everyone else.

One of the adult life lessons I’ve learned is that people who care about us WANT to help. Withholding our struggles increases stress on our part and creates a feeling of being pushed away on theirs. They hate feeling helpless. We do too, but we have more information at any point than they do. Think about when you’re driving a car in inclement weather compared to when someone else is driving and you’re in the passenger seat. When you’re driving, you know whether you have control of the vehicle or not. You know how well the brakes work, how alert you are, and how long it will take you to stop if something happens. A passenger has little information other than what they see and feel, and they have to rely on their trust in you. Having MS is like being the driver, and our friends are the passengers when it involves our health.

While their intentions to try to fix our problems, make us feel better, or help in any way they can may sometimes feel pushy and cause conflict, working through the unknown and developing a new relationship dynamic is well worth the effort. All of the relationships I still have today are intensely richer for the awkward conversations we’ve stuck with and the commitment we’ve made to interacting differently than we did before I was diagnosed.

Invisible symptoms like fatigue, pain, numbness, balance problems, bladder and bowel problems, cognitive issues and heat sensitivity can affect how we feel even when we think we’ve got it all under control. There are times when I think I’m doing fine or faking it well, and dear friends will say they notice I’m not feeling well. It’s especially impressive how well people know us when symptoms are subtle and we may not even realize we don’t feel as well as usual. For me I notice that my patience lessens and I have a tendency to feel more pressure from people by what they say.

I asked two dear friends what they had to say on this topic, and one said that what hurts her feelings is when I hold back and distance myself. I can justify it by saying I don’t want to worry her or bother her, but it’s more likely that I don’t feel like admitting I’m having an issue or that I’m not up for hearing advice in that moment. One skill I’ve tried to beef up is to recognize when I’m feeling pressure or don’t want to talk about something anymore and say so. I’ve noticed it’s harder to do this the longer I wait to say something, And while saying I’m not up for discussing something in that moment may hurt their feelings, I think it’s better than continuing to suffer silently. The other skill I’m working on is to tell them that while I’m not up for it in that moment that I do appreciate their concern and perspective. I also want to start saying that I think I can continue the conversation another time.

Being self-aware, communicating consciously and not reactively, and considering other people’s perspectives has made living and loving well with MS possible for me. It’s definitely improved my relationships, reduced my stress level and contributed to a life I love.

*Stacie Prada was diagnosed with RRMS in 2008 at the age of 38. Her blog, “Keep Doing What You’re Doing” is a compilation of inspiration, exploration, and practical tips for living with Multiple Sclerosis while living a full, productive, and healthy life with a positive perspective. It includes musings on things that help her adapt, cope and rejoice in this adventure on earth. Please visit her at http://stacieprada.blogspot.com/

Sleep? What’s That?

Posted on February 13, 2017 by MSAA

By Penelope Conway

At the end of an exhausting day yesterday, I collapsed into my bed and tried to sleep. You know, that thing where you curl up, close your eyes, snore and drool? Unfortunately, it didn’t work out for me last night. I spent the entire time wide awake through the yawns. A full night of sleep for me is more like a trip to a baseball game on a sold-out night than a trip to a relaxing spa.

Game night goes something like this…

You find your seat and settle in for the game with your team shirt on, a foam finger in one hand and a bag of peanuts in the other. “Play ball”…the game has begun, but since you are in the third seat on your row, everyone has to step over you to get to their seat. Your toes get stepped on by the first person coming by, you get smacked in the head with the next lady’s purse, and elbowed by the person after her.

You endure constant commotion and movement as people carry drinks and food up and down the row. One person even spills part of their drink on you. Then, just as the game is getting good, the person next to you starts talking so loud that you can’t even hear your own thoughts anymore.

You are stuck listening to everything about their job and the problems they are having with their boss…things you didn’t need to know, but now do…and in the process, you miss the epic play of the night. You were there the night a world record was set, but have to watch the replay to find out what really happened. You simply wanted to enjoy the game but it seems like there’s more going on in the stands than on the field.

That about sums up a night of sleep for me with MS: pain, dizziness, breathing difficulties, tossing and turning, muscle spasms, trips to the bathroom, and an overactive brain that won’t shut up. A night of sleep…I wish! Meds do help and for that I’m thankful.

When a friend tries to rationalize or downplay my fatigue, it can hurt. Many times it seems like the more I try to explain how tired my tired is, the more they try to fit it into their little perception box. Understandably so, they aren’t the ones living with it, but sometimes I just wish I could give them a taste of what my fatigue actually feels like. Maybe then they would get it.

I appreciate when a friend asks me to do something, but then is ok if I end up declining their invite because my body is simply too exhausted to function, even if it ends up being a last minute change.

Lately those times happen more times than I like. Sometimes just the thought of having to get myself dressed and looking presentable wears me out. If it’s not messy hair, sweat pants and t-shirt doable, it’s a lot of work.

Those that love me enough to give me the option to choose and then are okay if my decision is different than what they want or planned for, those are some of the most amazing people on the planet. No one should ever have to spend time defending how they feel and why.

The world is buzzing by at a hyper speed and it tries its best to force us to keep up with the pace it sets, but MS has given me a slower pace that requires pit stops and naps. Most of the buzzing about that the world wants us to do isn’t really important anyway.

I choose to hold onto the things that really matter in life like great friends, savory coffee and naps. Yes, naps are my new favorite.

Summer Love

Posted on July 20, 2016 by MSAA

By Lauren Kovacs

Summer is a double edged sword for many with MS. Making the monster happy is a battle. While winning the war may not come until a cure, small victories can be celebrated.

Heat is a battle most of us fight. Staying cool is essential. Cooling vests with the ice packs work well. I don’t enjoy looking like someone on safari suffering from some weird allergic reaction, but it is better than the alternative. Lumpy ice packs stuffed into a vest are not a fashion statement anyone wants to make.

Stick to a routine, as much as possible. I know having kids home for the summer is like herding drunken cats. As a mother of three boys and being a frequent wheelchair user, I am very familiar with the struggle. Pick an activity indoors, like bowling. It is cheap and you can bask in the A/C with caffeine and cheese fries. You can still participate from a comfy chair.

Fatigue it my number one enemy. It cuts me down with one swoop and then stabs me to be sure I stay down. Coffee and soda are the poison of choice for many. But, as caffeine is a diuretic and liquids have to exit the premises, these are not always good options for those of us dealing with tight time limits on the bladder. The caffeine crash is another unsavory blow.

I have found timing is everything. Time medication and naps to your daily needs. My secret weapon is caffeine gum. Chewing caulk-like gum is gross, but it gives me a wee kick without frequent trips to the potty. Using the potty, for me, has its own gymnastic routine. It also means using precious energy. I feel like a gnat in winter already. I cannot afford to use energy on potty breaks.

Take summer slow. Summer days drift away so fast, but enjoy it too. MSers are great at balancing. Enjoy what you can, when you can and however you can. Sitting in a lumpy cooling vest chewing caffeine gum is far better than missing out.

The Invisibility of MS

Posted on June 29, 2016 by MultipleSclerosis.net

Living with MS can be a daily challenge, even if other people can’t physically see the struggle. The invisibility of MS symptoms can be one of the hardest and most frustrating aspects of living with this condition, so when we shared some of the data about this subject from our most recent MS in America survey, many members of our MS community told us about their thoughts and experiences. Here is what they had to say:

The top issue faced, especially now that it’s summer? Trouble with the heat and the way it impacts your body:

My activity is restricted by the heat. Especially today when the temperature will be in the 90’s.
I would rate the intolerance to humidity at the top.
My speech gets slurry and my balance is off. I get accused of being drunk.
The heat makes my head swim and consequently, my balance gets really bad.
I have been feeling more and more fatigue due to my body temperature going from freezing to hot. Each time that occurs, I have less energy, less motivation to do something.
Summers are the hardest for me!!! The last two weeks have been increased fatigue, less energy, pain, and brain fog! Most people love summer! I used to, but now it’s the time I struggle the most.
Severe fatigue & the heat in Alabama are really bothering me!

Fatigue: it’s a huge (and invisible) concern for many:

Fatigue especially. It’s like the first trimester [of pregnancy] fatigue times 100!
I have fatigue every single day. It’s hard for my husband to understand that it’s every day. I have maybe 5 times a year that I feel like a normal person.
Yep, and the lack of sleep because of spasms equals more fatigue.
It’s hard for others to understand how you can be so tired doing everyday things. After doing a load of laundry, going grocery shopping and making dinner I am exhausted!

And some other symptoms that can’t be seen but definitely make life more challenging:

Don’t forget the bladder and bowel problems.
It’s the periodic blindness that sucks for me.
And the headaches are brutal.
Mood swings are really challenging..
The tingling symptoms scare me. I’ve had a couple of really bad relapses and I’m always afraid I won’t feel my body again.
Pain needs to be one for me – it’s about 99%.
My issues seem to be centered around fatigue, weakness, blurry vision and weird cognitive stuff like memory issues or not being able to think of words, or using the wrong word.
My wife, family and friends will never truly understand what it is like to have headaches and other symptoms on a frequent occurrence and why and how it affects my mood, energy levels and potential plans in a day.

Do these responses ring true for you? What invisible symptoms do you struggle with?

How Small Changes Can Make a Big Difference in the New Year

Posted on January 7, 2015 by MSAA

By: Matt Cavallo

While most people are planning for their New Year’s resolutions, many of us with multiple sclerosis are just trying to feel normal again after all the holiday activities. The problem with the holidays is that they take us out of our normal routines and create financial and emotional stress. When we go outside of our normal routine or have increased stress, we unknowingly put ourselves at risk for an MS exacerbation, or relapse.

Last year I blogged, “Tips for Avoiding a Post-Holiday Multiple Sclerosis Flare”, which can be read by clicking here. Those tips include: developing a financial plan, changing eating habits, exercising, getting back on your schedule and setting attainable goals. You can enjoy the holidays, but it is critical to have a plan to get back on track.

Most times my tips come from lessons I’ve learned the hard way. Instead of taking my own advice last year I tried to be super dad and ran myself ragged. I spent the next couple of months trying to recover from the MS fatigue, was unable to take off the extra holiday weight and had to buy new pants with a stretchy waist band.

You see, you don’t have to wait until the New Year for a do-over. Resolutions can start at any time. Mine was to ditch the stretchy pants. I made sure to start working towards it before the holiday season began. I also made a couple of smart decisions along the way.

I took extra time off to make sure that I wasn’t stressed with last minute running around. Taking care of the gifts ahead of time also softened the financial stress of the season, because the costs were spread out. We didn’t stray too much from our regular diet, but did allow some holiday goodies. I also made sure to take extra time to rest. Taking the time off to spend with my family allowed me to be super dad and catch up on rest.

With all of the planning I did ahead of time, I am much less stressed and fatigued than last year. I am also down a couple of pounds and can ditch the stretchy pants. I’m still not exactly where I want to be yet, but I am working on it. A pleasant side effect of implementing a resolution before the New Year is that I actually believe that I have some attainable goals that I can stick to.

What I learned is that I don’t need a holiday to commit to feeling better. I cannot control what MS does to me, but I can control other things like fitting into my pants. Making small changes can have a big impact on how you feel or how fatigued you are. What little changes are you going to make in 2015?

Thank you for your continued readership and support. Wishing you and yours a happy, healthy New Year!

*Matt Cavallo was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2005. Matt is an MS blogger, author, patient advocate, and motivational speaker. Matt also has his Master’s degree in Public Health Administration. Matt is the proud father of his two sons, loving husband to his wife, Jocelyn, and best friend to his dog, Teddy. Originally from the Boston suburbs, Matt currently resides in Arizona with his family. To learn more about Matt, please visit him at : http://mattcavallo.com/blog/

MS Means Managing Your Energy

Posted on September 29, 2014 by MSAA

By: Sheryl Skutelsky

It’s Football Season! So, what does that have to do with MS? Well, in my case an unexpected wonderful opportunity to travel to meet my son to see my very first live NFL game. This opportunity truly once again brought to light the ways in which I have to live my life a bit differently from everyone else.

My dad wanted a boy, but instead he got me, an only child. So, I was placed in front of the television from as early as I can remember to watch the Jets play. I was taught every rule and regulation.

I’ve lived my entire life in New York, but for some reason my son had been a Packers fan from as early as I can remember. He dreamed of getting tickets to Lambeau Stadium for over 20 years. He finally had tickets for the Packer’s first home game against the Jets, but he broke up with the girl that was supposed to accompany him.

I get a call from my 31 year old son, now living in Houston, asking me if I would like to meet him in Green Bay for my birthday to finally get to see my Jets play live. Instantly I was ecstatic and panicked at the same time!

MS means managing your energy to avoid overwhelming fatigue. I didn’t have enough warning to rest all week for this trip. I also remember my son telling me that as a teenager he often felt that I wasn’t there for him; I was always too tired. I hadn’t been diagnosed yet, and my son rationally understands now why I was always tired, but I didn’t want to let him down this special weekend.

Well, the Packers beat the Jets, and I came home a Packers fan, but more importantly, my son and I had such a special weekend together. He had tattooed the MS logo on his ankle for me several years ago which meant a lot, but this weekend he also showed me that he truly understood how I had to live a little differently with MS.

My son did all the driving, took care of me, kept me out of the sun as much as possible, and made sure I got time to rest. We had such a great time together in Wisconsin, and my son told me how proud he is to tell people how his mom doesn’t let MS stop her from enjoying life. After all, what more can a mother ask for?

*Sheryl Skutelsky, diagnosed in 2001, has learned how to live positively with multiple sclerosis. Sheryl’s passion has always been graphic design. Her symptoms have become an inconvenience to her work, so she now uses her skills and creativity to reach out to others about MS. Sheryl is a patient advocate speaker for Biogen Idec. She also writes for Healthline.com, and she is an Internet radio host with her own show, Fix MS Now. Check out her Fix MS Now page on Facebook which has more than 10,000 followers. You can help raise MS awareness one “like” at a time by visiting: http://www.facebook.com/fixmsnow.

Summer Reflection

Posted on September 12, 2014 by MSAA

By: Matt Cavallo

For me, having MS sometimes means more sleep. This is especially the case for me with two young boys, who don’t tend to sleep in and have endless amounts of energy. I find that when the seasons turn to fall and the long sunny days turn to long dark nights, I find myself chronically tired and needing to hibernate. When I feel like I need more sleep, I draw on lessons learned from the summer.

This June, my wife and I decided to drive to take the kids to Legoland in San Diego. San Diego is about a five hour drive from my house, so we loaded up the minivan and hit the road for a three day vacation. Prior to that vacation, I put it in my mind that it was going to be hot and that I was going to be waiting in long lines for the rides, but that I needed to give my kids a vacation to remember.

The first day took a lot out of me. The drive was exhausting. Even though the kids behaved and there was only a little traffic, driving that long can be taxing. However, once we got to the hotel, the kids wanted to play. Even though I was exhausted, we met up with friends and went to the beach. I spent the entire time at the beach playing in the water with the kids. After about twelve hours of going non-stop, we went to the hotel and I crashed.

The next morning came too early, but the kids were up and ready to go. I felt like if I could just get a little more sleep, I would have energy for Lego Land. More sleep was not to be had but we spent an awesome twelve hours running around the amusement park, going on the rides and playing the games. The sun was brutal and beat me down as I waited for ride after ride. By the time we got to bed, I was so exhausted that I didn’t think I could possibly pull it together another day.

The next day came and I needed just a little more sleep, but that was not going to happen. It was day two at Lego Land and the kids were ready. It was a repeat of the first day and the kids were having the time of their lives. We spent another twelve hours roaming the park being roasted in the early summer sun. By the time we got back to the hotel, I thought I was going to pass out from exhaustion, but the kids wanted to swim at the pool. So even though I had expended all my energy at the park, I needed to dig down and find the inspiration for one more hour of activities.

While I was sitting at the pool watching the boys swim, I thought that this is what life was all about. It turned out that I didn’t need more sleep. Sure I was tired and the sun and MS fatigue were wearing on me, but I needed to be there. At this moment, having MS meant time with my sons. So many times, I had let my MS fatigue get the best of me, but I fought through it to create memories that will last a lifetime.

As I look forward to the fall season and the long nights, I think back to that summer vacation. I look back at how I was fatigued and didn’t think I would make it, but created precious memories. For me it is all about getting going, because for me getting started is the hardest part. This fall, I am not going to require more sleep. I am going to spend more time with my sons, because that is what motivates me to keep going. What lessons from summer are you going to use to keep going this fall?

You Know You Have MS When…

Posted on July 25, 2014 by MultipleSclerosis.net

People with MS tend to be very familiar with the typical symptoms associated with having this condition, like pain, fatigue, difficulties with mobility, numbness, tingling, bowel and bladder problems, among others. However, there’s so much more to having MS than what anyone could find in a textbook or a pamphlet at the doctor’s office. We wanted to know more about the everyday life of those with MS, so we asked our Facebook community to respond to the statement, “You know you have MS when____.” More than 150 people replied! Below is a summary of the feedback we received.

You just feel exhausted

After sleeping a full 8 hours, you still feel like someone used your body to run a marathon
The simple task of washing your hair is exhausting
Your kids think that all you do is sleep and that you’re sick all the time
You are so tired that you cry, and no amount of sleep helps
Everyone says, “You look tired – what did you do last night?” and you respond, “Nothing”
You’re too tired to get up, but you just end up lying around in bed thinking about what you should be doing
You wake up with a little bit of energy, bounce upstairs and fix breakfast, only to end up exhausted and needing a rest
You are tired or fatigued all the time, and you can’t find the energy to take a shower
Your battery depletes after 45 minutes of walking, and you become a complete physical mess on your feet
Feeling well-rested is a thing of the past
You must have a plan B, C, D, etc.
You need a nap before you go to the store to get coffee, and then need a nap again before you put it away
It takes HOURS to pay bills and organize your family calendar when, in the past, you were a successful nurse manager and an expert at multitasking

The weatherman is not your friend

Summer used to be your favorite time of year, but now sunlight, heat, and humidity keep you inside like a vampire
You’re the only one in the room saying, ‘Is it hot in here?’
When 70 degrees feels like you’re standing inside of an oven
When you can’t do any outdoor activities due to the heat
When summer heat hits the triple digits, and you can barely breathe
Your body is better at predicting the weather than the actual weather man

Getting around and maintaining control of your body is challenging

You can’t play with your kids or take a walk with your husband
You fall over when standing still
Your upper body starts to walk, and your legs don’t get the memo in time
You don’t even realize it when your legs go out from under you
You wonder if you’ll be able to climb the four stairs it takes to get into your office at work
You just tip over when standing still on level ground
When you wake up one morning, and you’re paralyzed on one side of your whole body
You keep tripping up over nothing
You are always dropping things
You are in the market shopping for groceries, and a fireman stops you because your face is drooping and you are confused, and they think you have had a stroke
Your hands are asleep and they don’t wake up
You are eating dinner and your arm suddenly jerks and your food goes flying across the table
You walk like you’ve had a few cocktails, but you haven’t had a sip
You find that no one around you realizes how hard you have to work to keep up, and you just end up getting left behind
You have to stop mid sentence because you’ve lost your train of thought
You take the dog for a walk around the block,and your legs feel like they are encased in cement
You walk like you are dancing to Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”
When your knees are locked as though there’s a magnet holding them together
When you go from 0 to pee in two seconds flat
You have to hold on to walls because you lack balance
You trip over something earlier in the day because of ‘drop foot’ and later that day you look at your scraped toes and wonder what happened
You decide being an unwitting participant in a wet t-shirt contest is better than running for cover during a surprise rain storm at an amusement park
You can’t stand without assistance
Your head goes one way and your legs another
You have to look at your hand and tell it to move
When you can’t pass a field sobriety test while sober
Despite only being 41, you walk like your 76 year-old mother
You have to lean your elbows against the shower wall to wash your hair

Your mind isn’t as sharp as it used to be

You lose your train of thought while mid-sentence
You walk into a room and forgot why you went in there in the first place
You have the hardest time trying to say what you want to say, and your words come out making no sense
You describe your symptoms, and your neurologist looks at you as if you were speaking Greek
You get confused when there is too much going on around you; you can’t even place an order at a fast food restaurant
What was the question?

Pain and numbness become a part of everyday life

Your feet feel like they are on fire or you have frostbite
You are numb and tingly and have burning sensations all over
You get unexpected zaps of excruciating pain in your face, arm, leg, and you try not to scream
You are screaming from pain as what feels like loose electric wires whip out of control at the base of your spine
You feel like you are being stabbed, and you have a tingling feeling all over your body
You can’t feel your fingers, but you feel like you’re walking on rocks, barefoot
You feel continual electric shocks down one whole side of your body that are strong enough to make you gasp out loud
You “feel” noises that go straight to the bone with subsequent weird pain!
Your body feels like you got into a fight with Mike Tyson, then got run over by a semi, and then kicked to the side of the road
You feel like you are sitting in a wet bathing suit because your butt is numb

People assume that you are fine

When everyone assumes you are normal and they say, ‘Let’s go – get with it’
Your friends and family think you are fine because you look the same, so they think you are just being anti-social
You get angry hearing, “Gee, you can’t be feeling bad … you look too good”

Does any of this resonate with you? How would you complete the statement, “You know you have MS when ____”?

Celebrating My Birthday Despite MS

Posted on July 14, 2014 by MSAA

By: Matt Cavallo

This weekend we were celebrating my birthday. A birthday is generally a cause for celebration, but when you are living with multiple sclerosis, sometimes you don’t feel like celebrating. Especially if you live near Phoenix and high temperature on the day of your celebration was 111 degrees. I was feeling fatigued, overheated, and wanted to stay in bed all day. I was considering cancelling the dinner, but there was one party guest that had been waiting months for this night.

I had promised my son that we would go to Rustler’s Rooste, a famous Phoenix steakhouse, known for serving Rattlesnake. My oldest son is currently obsessed with snakes. A couple months back, he attended a birthday party that had an entertainer with exotic animals. At that party, he got to handle a snake and has wanted one ever since. I made the mistake of mentioning to him that a Phoenix steak house served Rattlesnake as an appetizer. He made me promise that I would take him for Rattlesnake. Even though I didn’t feel like going out, he needed me to live up to that promise.

As I laid in bed before I needed to get up and get ready to go to the steakhouse, I contemplated how MS had stopped me from going to other social events in the past. For a period of time, I had isolated myself from my friends and family because of how I felt. It got to the point where people stopped inviting me to events because they knew I wasn’t going to show. Now, here I was on the verge of letting MS fatigue and heat intolerance affect celebrating my own birthday and sacrifice the promise I made to my son.

As the clock ticked closer to our reservations, my fatigue and heat intolerance were not letting up. Neither was my son’s talk of finally getting to live his dream of eating Rattlesnake. I had a decision to make: was I going to let MS win and stay home, or was I going to fulfill my promise to my son?

Despite the MS fatigue and heat, I rose to the occasion. I took an ice cold shower, and we went over to the steakhouse. The boys had a great time, and so did I. I was happy that I had forced myself to go. Cooling myself down helped me handle the heat. More importantly, I didn’t let my MS keep me from making memories with my boys. The biggest surprise was that my boys liked eating the Rattlesnake. My oldest said it tasted liked fried chicken!

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