Falling Back in Love with Life

Posted on October 26, 2022 by Emily

By Emily Gordon

I remember the day like it was yesterday. September 24, 2012. I remember the smell of the room. I remember what the ring of the phone sounded like when I got the call in the MRI waiting room. I was 22 years old. I had just graduated from college. I was working at an NBC affiliate news station, living out my dream of being a sports reporter. It was all happening for me, or so I thought.

It turns out that a lot was happening in my brain and spine as well. It was a crisp fall day, and my favorite day of the week: Football Friday! I had been assigned to cover three high school football games that night. It was my very first game of the season. I was confident in my scripts; live camera hit and tag out. The live camera hit came and I looked up at the scoreboard to recite the score, then turned back to the camera and forgot what I had just looked at, a second ago. Luckily, I recovered from that fumble (ha) and recovered fine throughout the rest of the night. However, that slight hiccup had my mind racing. Why did that happen? Is this normal? Am I sick? The intrusive thoughts would not stop coming.

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Father’s Day—For All of Those Special Guys

Posted on June 18, 2021 by Angel Blair

With Father’s Day just a few days away, it’s nice to take this time to think of all the special men in our lives. They certainly don’t need the title of dad or father to be thought of at this time of year. Especially if they hold a special place in your heart and life, no matter the type of relationship. We have fathers, grandfathers, brothers, uncles, godfathers, cousins, and friends that we are blessed to know and be surrounded by. They deserve to be recognized and celebrated, for more than just one day!

It’s a perfect time to let these special guys know what they mean to you. What you admire most about them and what you treasure about your relationship. Tell them thank you and how they’ve made your life brighter. Whether they’ve provided you with strength and courage, protection and love, or just endless support. Don’t miss out on a moment where you can express to them all that they are to you.

The day may also bring challenges for those who are mourning and remembering the men in their lives whom they’ve lost. It can be a difficult time for the men waiting and hoping to become fathers, or for those who have lost a child. But the day can be spent honoring and recalling special moments and memories too. To have faith and keep hopes that future Father’s Days may look different.

Wishing everyone a wonderful day!

Sisterly Love

Posted on February 5, 2021 by Angel Blair

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, this time of year usually makes us think of candy hearts and bouquets of flowers and mushy love songs. But aside from the romantic relationships that usually dominate this holiday, it’s also a good time to think of the other bonds that we value and find important in life. Our connections with others are something to treasure now more than ever, so it’s nice to think of the other relationships that mean so much too. For me, I value the relationship that I am fortunate to have with my sister.

Growing up we bickered and fought just like typical siblings do. We had times where we didn’t like each other but we still loved each other cause ‘we had to’ kind of thing. But as we grew older, we started to appreciate who the other was and learned more about them. Now we look back and realize how lucky we were to have one another. Our other siblings were close in age but older, and while we were all close and grateful for that, my sister and I formed a bond that has strengthened to this day.

My sister is a wonderful mother and talks about having more children because she wants her son to have a sibling with whom he can have the same type of bond that her and I share. As our family has sadly lessened over the years, we’ve grown increasingly grateful for those we are still blessed to have, and I am thankful for her every day. She listens without judgement, loves unconditionally, and knows my quirks, fears and hopes. My sister is always there, and I would feel lost without her. She’s a fun reminder of our childhood and is someone that I can reminisce with to share memories of family and good times.

If you have a relationship in your life that you value and cherish, be sure to let that person know it. You don’t have to say it every day, but once in a while let them know that they are important to you and what your connection means. It’s nice to share this sentiment with the people in your life who matter the most.

A Grandmother’s Love

Posted on May 15, 2019 by Angel Blair

When my sister and I were little we used to wish for a different grandmother. I know that sounds terrible! But we were young, we didn’t know any better, and we thought our grandmother was the meanest woman alive at times! LOL.

Looking back at that now I can laugh because that was ridiculous. Yes, my grandmother was tough and strict sometimes, but whose isn’t? She really did mean well and just wanted us to be safe and well taken care of. Being a kid if you heard “no” then that adult was just plain mean, and your opinion gets tainted. But as we grew older Continue reading →

The Not So Good Relationship

Posted on August 14, 2017 by Angel Blair

Keeping with the theme of relationships on this month’s blog inspired me to do a little Googling into different relationship topics and recent news to see what’s been trending lately. I actually found several pieces on toxic relationships and help in how to recognize these. Usually when people think about relationships the mind doesn’t tend to go towards the dark side necessarily, but the truth is there can be a lot of toxic parts to a relationship that some people don’t even notice sometimes. Often, people believe their relationships look like other’s relationships; everyone has their ups and downs and not-so-fluffy cloudlike days and this is normal. This is true, but when the relationship is in that darker side of the clouds more often than not, it’s something to address.

Psychology Today recently posted about how to recognize toxic people and relationships, and it’s not always easy. In a relationship, sometimes the people involved have blinders on in order to see what they want or need to see in the other person; it’s only natural. Everyone has flaws and no one is perfect, but there are some toxic traits that can’t and shouldn’t be overlooked. Things like selfishness, disrespect, and arrogance are all signs that point towards a potentially harmful toxic relationship. The post also mentions these other red flags as potential signs of a toxic bond:

Lying
Being unapologetic
Manipulative
Abusive
Narcissistic
Spiteful

Examining one’s relationship and trying to recognize red flags is not easy. It can be overwhelming and sometimes shocking to realize that the relationship is causing more harm than good and if it’s contributing to stress and negativity. Sometimes these bonds are ones that can’t be severed so easily either, especially if they’re with family and loved ones. This is why it’s so important to surround yourself with positive energy and loving relationships whenever possible, and taking a step back from the ones that aren’t is sometimes necessary. Reaching out to others for support, seeking therapy, taking time for self-care and self-love are actions that can help combat toxicity. Everyone deserves to be respected and to be in relationships that nurture love and support; anything else is unnecessary distress.

I Love Me

Posted on February 10, 2016 by Melissa Young

Valentine’s Day is only days away. While it may sometimes seem to be a bit over-commercialized, it has its merits. Valentine’s Day is a holiday that allows us to show those we truly care about how much we love and appreciate them. However, it can also be a difficult day to face if you aren’t in a place where you are okay with yourself.

So, here are some things to think about to help you take care of yourself.

• Put yourself first. This doesn’t mean you should be selfish and be “All about me all of the time”. It means you can’t help others if you don’t take care of yourself first. You need to be in a positive frame of mind and feeling good about yourself to have the best impact on your loved ones.

• Cut yourself some slack. Don’t be so hard on yourself. We’re all humans; we all make mistakes. You can dwell on the negatives for a little bit in order to try to learn from your mistakes. But, make sure you also dwell on the positives because I’m sure you’re making positive strides as well.

• Friendship is a two way street. Your friendship is a gift and you get to choose to whom you give it. If someone doesn’t appreciate it, then they don’t get to continue receiving your wonderful gift. If they do appreciate it, then they will return your gift in kind.

• You have a right to your feelings and your opinions. You shouldn’t let others make you feel bad because your feelings on a certain matter don’t match theirs. If you aren’t up for doing something every now and then, don’t be afraid to say “no”. Just try to do it in a way that doesn’t hurt other people’s feelings and they will be more understanding.

• No one can make you feel bad. Your emotions are yours. Things happen, to put it in a PG-rated way. You control your reaction to things or people. If you don’t let them affect you, they won’t affect you.

Happy Valentine’s Day!!

Loving Yourself First

Posted on February 16, 2015 by Samantha Schech

What is love? Webster’s dictionary defines love as “a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person”. After a day like Valentine’s Day, it is hard not to question the concept of love. Perhaps you are in a long term relationship, maybe you have yet to find love, or have just ended a relationship. By definition, love doesn’t solely rely on a relation with another person, it can define the feeling you have for yourself as well.

Truly loving yourself and having the respect for the person that you have become can be a challenge for some. Uncontrollable events occur in life that may change the way that one perceives themselves. Perhaps there are goals or outcomes that seem unmet, or feelings that are unresolved. Coming to a place of understanding and acceptance of the uncontrollable events and embracing the change they may have created is the first step in loving who you are as a person.

By accepting the changes that have occurred, you allow yourself to move forward without any self-doubts or negative thoughts. But this too is a process. One does not wake up one morning and choose to accept the many years of life’s up and downs. Daily affirmations or positive thoughts about your self can be an effective way to practice self-love and acceptance. You can create your own, or utilize one of the many that can be found in books or online.

The Law of Attraction states, “like attracts like”, meaning, what you put out into the world, is what you attract. If you feel positively about yourself and love yourself, you will attract that same level of positive energy in another. When you don’t like yourself, or don’t feel yourself worthy of love, it can be difficult for someone to find that in you as well.

The change to a place of self-acceptance and love cannot occur overnight. If you feel as though you need additional support or help in removing the self-doubts or negative thoughts, a counselor may be able to assist in getting to the root of those feelings. Everyone has a right to be accepted and loved, personally and by others. If possible, seek help from a support group or counselor. It is never too late to make a change.

“The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt” –Max Lerner

References:
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/love

Lasting Holiday Memories

Posted on December 1, 2014 by MSAA

Having just polished off the leftover bird from the table, cranberry sauce and stuffing galore, you may be experiencing a sigh of relief or even a moment of anticipation as further holiday and end-of-year festivities abound.

Whether you had a pleasant or taxing Thanksgiving, you probably are not thinking about what creates a lasting holiday memory, but inevitably as the season progresses you may just think back on past holiday seasons and some of the stand-out moments which are meaningful to you. Over time, sometimes even the mishaps and anxieties which were so troublesome to you at the time may even win out for most re-counted and favored memories.

For example, I’ll never forget the Thanksgiving my dog snatched a turkey leg right off my nephew’s plate (why he had a giant turkey leg, I have no idea). I chased the dog around the dining room and battled for it. When I finally broke his hold on the greasy turkey leg, riotous laughter erupted around the table. At the moment he stole the food, my thought was, “Oh no, he ruined Thanksgiving,” but the reality was there was plenty of food to go around and everyone delighted in some comic relief. A few years later, and it has become a story we re-count when we talk about all being together and what we are thankful for (which does, in fact, include our dog).

So as the year winds down and you anticipate even more hoopla, remember that even the crazy, wild, and hectic moments can turn into those lasting, laughter-filled, or meaningful moments. Events may not turn out exactly as planned, but the love, support, and laughter of those that surround us and support us are what the holidays are all about.

Did Cupid Miss? Finding True Love Wherever it Lies

Posted on February 26, 2014 by MSAA

By: Jeri Burtchell

Ah, February! The prelude to spring and the time of year when happy couples profess their love for one another on Valentine’s Day. What could be wrong with that?

Well, sometimes real life falls short of “Sleepless in Seattle”. A study published in 2010 says that folks with MS have a greater likelihood of ending up divorced than other couples. Odds are, someone with MS who is reading this spent Valentine’s Day alone. No amount of chocolate can make that pill any less bitter to swallow.

When I learned the MSAA blog theme for February would be “love”, I decided to explore the less traveled paths to the heart. Instead of romantic love, this is for all of you who are facing MS head-on and doing it solo. For everyone who thinks the groundhog predicted six more weeks of loneliness.

Everywhere you look in early February, friends are doting on their better halves in tweets and status updates. Pictures of happy couples abound. Even those with MS seem happily connected to the “best husband ever” or “the most amazing wife.” You don’t see anyone saying “I’m single, yay me! I’m doing just fine.”

But there is love beyond romance and I want to draw your eye to it. If you focus on the love that you do have, then perhaps it will ease the sting of having to say “table for one, please.”

Most of us have the love of family that surrounds us. Think about that sister or brother, mother or father, aunt or uncle who is there for you. Helping you cope, caring how you feel, sharing good times and bad. That is love.

Even if you are divorced, there’s a good chance you have kids. They love you, right? Don’t roll your eyes at me that way. Romantic love may come and go, but the bond between parent and child will last a lifetime. That is also love.

No kids, no family, no significant other? Don’t stop looking for the love that seems elusive. Just look a little closer. You may be overlooking a love right under your nose. Literally. Look down. See some little eyes in a furry face looking back up? That, my friend, is love…or it could be hunger. (Nah, it’s probably love).

The unconditional love of a pet is real and powerful. Besides love, the Centers for Disease Control says that having a pet can lower our blood pressure and triglyceride levels, plus chase away our loneliness. They also give us a reason to exercise and opportunities to socialize while we’re at it. Just ask Sheryl about her Teeny Tiny Mighty MS Mascot.

What’s that you say? You have no family, no close friends? Your kids are grown and gone? You’re allergic to pets? All hope is not lost. The camaraderie of an online community may fill the emptiness you feel. Reach out and connect. Meeting others with MS can be rewarding, reassuring and often leads to lifelong friendships. I can honestly say some of the most meaningful friendships I have now began online.

Last but not least, there’s one final love you’ve had by your side all along, although you may have never noticed. You overlooked it while you were pursuing Prince Charming or Mrs. Right. It’s the person who will be by your side through thick and thin no matter what. It’s you.

When you learn to be your own best friend you’ll never be alone. Explore hobbies that give you satisfaction. Read books, go jogging, take a bubble bath, buy yourself a little something. When you see that gorgeous sunset, your first thought won’t be “Oh, if only I had someone to share it with.” Don’t gauge the pleasure of the moment by someone else’s reaction. It’s okay to love the sunset all by yourself.

So if February isn’t your favorite month and all this lovey-dovey stuff your friends are sharing gets you down, just try to focus on all the other love that surrounds you. And cheer up! March is just around the corner and we can soon celebrate MS Awareness Month together.

My parting shot to the romance of February as it heads out the door is, “Yay me! I’m doing just fine.”

References:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20483882

http://www.cdc.gov/healthypets/health_benefits.htm

http://contributors.healthline.com/family/my-teeny-tiny-mighty-ms-mascot

*Jeri Burtchell was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 1999. She has spoken from a patient perspective at conferences around the country, addressing social media and the role it plays in designing clinical trials. Jeri is a MS blogger, patient activist, and freelance writer for the MS News Beat of Healthline.com. She lives in northeast Florida with her youngest son and elderly mother. When not writing or speaking, she enjoys crafting and photography.

The Expression of Love

Posted on February 5, 2014 by Samantha Schech

Valentine’s Day is a day where we open our hearts and make every effort to shower people with our love. But for some, the open expression of love is a challenge. Each individual chooses to share their love in a different manner; some opt for gifts, while others may write poems to express their love.

It is important to understand the ways in which you like to receive love and it’s important to have an open conversation with your partner regarding the ways in which you like to receive love and the ways in which you show your love.

There is a book by Gary D. Chapman called The Five Love Languages. In this book, the author believes in the importance of being able to express your love in a way that is meaningful to you and in a way that your partner can understand.

Everyone expresses their emotions differently and has a different need when it comes to love. This book helps to identify yourself and your emotional need, i.e. Love Language. For example, my love language is Acts of Service; I choose to express my love through the act of doing something for someone else. If I were in a relationship with someone who needs Words of Affirmation to feel love, the relationship may be stressed because of the differences.

Understanding and knowing your Love Language provides you with a great opportunity to have an open discussion with your partner about your feelings and needs in your relationship. Take some time to discuss this with your partner and find ways to identify it in your day to day. Perhaps true acts of love are being overlooked, simply because they are not in your Love Language.

This Valentine’s Day, how will you choose to express your love?

MSAA does not endorse the purchase of any specific product(s). Rather, any brand names are mentioned solely as an informational resource.

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